She stood there vacantly; the rain drizzled on her cold shivering skin. She wanted to be embraced by a man's arms; the feeling of him caressing her hair gently, the innocence of a child. Softly she sang to herself
"Litta, oh dear. Your love is so sweet, take me to your heart~"
So she would close her eyes and listen. The storm crashing all around her, her senses heightened and then silence. But footsteps pattered closer and closer. She was unable to move, the humming started. Who was this?
Someone wrapped around her now. The voice whispered in her ear, "Darling, you shouldn't be out at night. It'll be bad for your health"
Litta jerked forward away from his arms, he smirked. Why was she here, why had those thoughts found their way into her head? "Where am I?" She thought. Litta strained her vision on the tall man with dark hair and piercing white eyes, her vision became hazy and her hearing dull. Laughter…laughter with cruel intent, Litta fell back soaked. She tried to inch away from the man but as her eyes flickered he appeared right before her face
"I'll have fun with you…"
Another voice now, "Litta where are you, Litta!?"
Several voices trailed, all screaming "she's here, come quickly!"
She blacked out, finally.
Her eyes opened but only so that she appeared half asleep, she got out of the bed she had been tucked into. "Hospital clothes, how tiresome" thought Litta.
"Litta, are you there? Where did you go last night, I was scared" A soft voice calls as it approaches and enters my room.
"You were worried Isaac?"
"Of course, the nurse said when she went to give you your medications you were gone!"
"I…I don't know what happened"
"Litta did you… again. Who were you hearing?"
"There was a man, I have never seen. I was scared Isaac"
"Was he actually real though"
"Yes he was real why would I lie to you!?"
He sighed and approached the door, he said "I just want you to get better; I don't want you to die Litta"
She looked up at him, mumbling "I swear, he was there"
Litta sat back and looked out the window almost in tears, "Why, can't I be normal. I want to go to school… to make friends, why does it have to be me …"
The nurse came in and set Litta's pills on the table, "Honey, it's time to take your medicine and please don't try anything again. It's a real pain in the ass." Litta looked over at the slightly overweight gruff woman thinking about how many people she's made cry.
"Oh you sure know it, don't worry I wouldn't want to be crazy or anything"
The nurse gave Litta a sharp glare as she left the room, she mumbled under her breathe
"Ain't like nobody care about you"
Litta swallowed back the pills, and numbness came over her body, numb that's how it always was.
"I want to get away" Litta thought as always, she wondered about the man she saw
"I wonder if he would have done anything, I wonder what he meant by fun?"
The next few nights were dull and quiet. She heard the rain again, the pitter patter of tiny raindrops hitting her window. Maybe the tall man with white eyes would appear again, maybe not. Morning came and she left her room, it was the same people doing the same things. Nursing frantically picking up calls, patients acting against the grain, why were we here how does it help anyone. Litta was mad, a small gasp was heard from where the phones were and Litta turned to where the sound came from. A doctor was walking up to her… why? He brought her back to her room and sat her down on her bed.
"Litta I'm really sorry but your mother has passed away, she was killed in a car accident."
"That's a relief, a coward like her. She'd do nothing but indulge herself in booze; I have no need for a woman like that"
The doctor was a bit taken aback by these words he was leaving lastly saying "Well, once again I'm sorry for your loss."
"What do I have to lose now; I'm only the crazy girl that everyone abandoned when shit got tough."
"Yes, well that's why you're in here Litta"
"I suppose so"
Everyone is allowed outside within the gates of the hospital, they say they give them freedom but you see the hidden cameras placed around the court yard. It's hardly ever sunny here
Litta thought "I've always been in Batavia; I wish I could've seen other places but my parents…"
Isaac saw Litta across the court and came over to her; he saw her mumbling. He said "You okay Litta?"
"Sunshine and smiles, like always" he gave Litta a pouted face and she half smiled back
"Isaac don't you ever want to just leave here and do things, regular things like seeing movies or going dancing?"
"You're 17 Litta, if you weren't here then sure you could do that but after trying to run away a week ago you really think they would let you out?"
"I would sure try, I want to go out meet people, you know?"
"You mean that man, don't you? He's not real you know it too, stop hurting yourself over it"
"He was there Isaac! I thought you of all people would understand"
"I'm sorry, I know it's hard and I heard your mother died. I… I didn't know her but if she was anything like you than I'm sure she was wonderf-"
Litta gasped loudly, "Isaac, did you hear that!?"
"His humming, that man, he's here!"
"Litta you never listen you sure you don't have ADHD too, god you're so dense sometimes"
Isaac storms off and Litta is gazing into the direction she heard the humming, its changing directions now behind the building. Litta unconsciously follows it to a back building which no one ever used anymore. Her face of excitement faded away as quickly as it came, seeing as it was only a senile old man, not her man. She walked back to a place where there were no cameras and sat on the metal bench that was beginning to rust. She thought
"I remember this place; I remember when I first came here. I was suicidal, too bad it didn't work. Who would have cared though, no shit ass parents of mine, who pawned me off to each other every other weekend? My mom's dead now, DWI I heard, but why aren't I surprised that bitch drank for 4 people every fucking day but I'd rather take that then being with my father. He was fine when he was working but he came back and he hit me and my sister, I would always try to defend her but once I was passed out he could have at her. I hate my parents, I miss Grace, and she's in a better place now"
"What-cha getting so mad about sweetheart"
Shocked Litta turned her body tripped and fell to the ground on the bench, she was at a loss for words. It was him, the man. She quickly realized and composed herself not at face level but looking up at him, now she had seen him in the light he was surprisingly handsome.
"You're … ah that guy"
"Litta, my name is Alden"
"Alden? But wait how did you know my name and how did you get in here, there is gates surrounding the place."
"How did you get out Darling?"
"I-I don't know, tell me who are you!"
"I already said dear, nice to meet you in person finally"
"What do you plan on doing to me, there are people around"
"Where are the people Litta?"
Litta looked around back to the monitored courtyard and everyone was gone, not a human sound except those two standing by the rusted old bench. Alden had crept up close to Litta before she had noticed and grabbed her hands and pushed her against the wall.
"Look at the position you've put yourself in now Litta" He whispered in her ear like that same drizzling night.
"You're no fun if you make it easy, why didn't you run"
"Why would I, I had to check to see if you were real"
Litta kneed him in the crotch and he fell, she rushed to the nearest entrance to the hospital, locked. Alden there again, not angry but perplexed by her nature
"I'd like to play with you, so why don't you be a nice little girl"
"I would never desecrate myself for a stupid man like you; you're just like my father. I was interested by you, but you made yourself so vulnerable by exposing your character. What a pity too because we moved to the area with cameras"
Alden jerked his head down to avoid been seen by cameras but Litta had seen this as a chance to run. She took off not even looking back then a pang of high pitched crippling noise was sent through her ears. She had no other choice then to fetal position and covers her ears. Alden was gone, but Litta still lay helpless on the ground. It was dusk now and a nurse had seen her sprawled out on the ground and quickly rushed over, Litta could walk but her head was in a daze and her thoughts more crazed than usual. Isaac saw Litta being taken to his room
He mumbles to himself "Oh Litta please, please I beg of you"
Litta, still in shock from what happened yesterday refused any meals or contact from anyone but the nurse. Isaac knocked at the door, to see if she was doing all right and peeked in because no one was answering. She lay there asleep like a little lamb with wolves' teeth; he couldn't help but to sit over by Litta and places his hand on her forehead. Litta shifted and Isaac leaned in to kiss her slowly but surely connecting their hearts and souls without her ever knowing, just as he was about to a voice came in from the barred balcony outside her room.
"She's mine. Don't you dare touch her."
Isaac hearing this rushed out to find the balcony empty and only a gentle breeze passing, Isaac thought he must be going crazy.
"You heard me kid, don't try anything again or I'll kill you."
This time coming from the room on the other side of the curtain, Isaac slowly opens the curtain and reveals a statuesque broomstick. Dumfounded Isaac quickly leaves the room quickly glancing at Litta still sleeping soundly.
Alden appears by Litta, he bend down next to her and kisses her gently on the forehead.
"Until you wake, my love"
Litta awoke the next day almost blissfully unaware that she had been "attacked" by Alden the day before. She was unusual today, happy almost. She went to Isaac's room, which is rare, and sat next to him while he watched the monotonous Television show he obviously ignored her because of what happened yesterday while she lay asleep.
"So… Litta what brings you here?"
"I don't really know, I feel alright today I'm being honest"
"I'm glad Litta"
"Litta, Please don't get mad at me for this, but I have to tell you something"
She rotates herself to be positioned in front of Isaac; he briefs himself for a moment and sighs loudly.
"I saw him, yesterday"
"Saw who?" Litta asks
"The guy who hums, the one you met when you tried to escape last week Litta!"
"Oh, where did you see him?
"Uh… out in the court yard"
"Yes! I believe you Litta, please try to stay safe"
Litta gets up, no longer amused.
"I really hope you would've thought of a better lie than that Alden went in front of the cameras; I'm disappointed in you Isaac. That man is interesting so please don't try to interfere anymore."
Litta leaves the room and Isaac hears a faint mocking laughter in the back of his head.
Litta makes her way to her room and just as she gets in, she is informed she has a visitor, a bit startled confused, she awkwardly nods and is told to meet the man in the front
"Who could it be, not Alden, surely?" thought Litta
The ominous easily looking angered man was no other than Litta's father, he wore a false smile until the nurse left with Litta and he quickly pulled Litta along to the secluded corner where no one else could see them. Litta was almost trembling with fear begins to mutter out words of disdain with turn in questions about his appearance.
"Why-why are you here…?"
"You aren't glad to see your father, what a terrible child you are. I obviously came to discuss with you about your mother's death"
"Not like it even matters anymore" Litta muttered.
"Excuse me, who do you expect is going to be held responsible for your actions. Stop acting like you are so high and mighty" said Litta's father.
Litta stood speechless and as the silence accumulated her father got even more upset and began to grab at Litta's arm.
"Listen you little bitch, since your mother and I got divorced you've been a selfish little fool. You and your god damn sister were nothing but pests under my feet"
"Shut the fuck up!" Litta yelled as she jerked away from her father's grasp.
"You mad, at me or something" Her father grimaced
"I spent my time in prison for getting rid of that noisy brat, that's how you thank me. You were always such a bad child, but why am I surprised. You took after that whore of a mother of yours."
"Of course I'm mad, you killed my sister. Not to mention the living hell you put Grace and I through! You were a horrible father and I was glad to get away from you"
Litta was taken aback by how abruptly she said those last few words and saw the obvious anger on her father's face, Litta closed her eyes and covered head her to try and protect herself from the blow that she knew was coming. As she closed her eyes she saw his fists coming at her and she squealed in the thought of the pain that was going to come next. But nothing happened
"Huh, you're not going to hit me!?" Litta said eyes still closed
But still no response, Litta opened her eyes to see Alden covering her father mouth and holding him to the ground; it was apparent now that her father was struggling to breathe and began to fade out. Litta stood staring at Alden taking away the man who made her childhood a wreck, what was Litta going to do?
"Alden" Litta managed to get the words out but not enough for him to hear her. Litta wanted her father dead. Or was she in too much of a shock to do anything. Litta's father passed out and now Alden was looming over him, Litta speaks out.
"Thank you, but I think that's enough"
"He'll come after you Litta!"
"I know, but after all that's what's meant to happen right" Litta gave Alden a worried smile and looked down simultaneously. Alden took this as a lie and pulled out a pocket knife with a sharp point guaranteed to end a life.
"Alden!" Litta shouts. His eyes focused on the bare of her father's neck and pulled the knife close to the skin. Litta closed her eyes. Struggling now, from whom?
"That's enough, stop, and don't kill him!" Isaac shouts, he was a small boy but surprisingly able to veer the knife away from Litta's fathers neck but in return he had a large slash across his torso from wriggling away, Alden obviously upset now at Isaac stands up far above the little body on the ground beneath him. Alden picked up his knife again and started walking towards Isaac. He crouches down and says
"What did I say shrimp, don't try to get involved with my Litta. I ought to kill you now."
Litta was shaken but she runs over to Alden s arms and places her hands on the blade, Alden sees this and moves to avoid cutting her. Inevitably he did and Litta winces in pain, Alden's look of murderous rage and intent subsided into regret he stutters to apologize to Litta. He drops the knife and held her in his arms to keep her from falling back to where her father was
"This is your fault! I told you not to stop me, and now…" Alden's brow is furrowed.
Isaac gripping his torso manages to stand and slowly walk over to Litta and Alden
"No it's you" Isaac looks up at Alden which causes him to push Litta into Isaac's arms. He grabs his knife and runs off, the pain of carrying Litta became too much and Isaac collapses with Litta still conscious. Litta kneels beside Isaac and hold him in her arms until finally the security of the hospital, notice the bloody mass of people laying in the decrepit part of the hospital grounds.
"I'm sorry Isaac" As she brushes away his hair with her non-bloodied hand.
Isaac wakes in the room, looks around, and tries to move but a surge of pain comes across his abdomen. Litta is sitting by him, asleep in the chair next to him. Isaac smiles and stares at Litta for a brief moment. Seconds later a doctor comes in and begins to speak with Isaac.
"She's been there all night"
"What happened to her father?"
"He was admitted to a general hospital do you know what happened last night Isaac?"
"I'm sorry. I just... ahh"
Isaac stops to think about Alden, did he want to reveal this man and have Litta find out more
"I blacked out and didn't see what happened"
"I see, well then that's that"
"Your condition is stable and we wrapped up Litta's hand, you must not be surprised to be attacked by someone vicious here, huh?"
"I guess that true" Isaac awkwardly laughs.
" Yes, well call in for assistance if anything happens and make sure Litta doesn't tire herself out to much from worrying."
The doctor leaves the room allowing Isaac to gaze back at Litta, she shifts in her chair and flickers her eyes opens with a half smile on her face.
"You're awake, that's good." Litta said
"What happened last night Litta?"
Litta just looked at Isaac for a while and continued to say
"This is what happens when you're not normal, we should know, I mean after all look at where we are"
"I guess that true, you know uhm… about Alden"
"Yea I head"
"I don't think he's safe"
"Do you really think I care about that now?"
"No but you heard him say that he essentially claimed you as his property"
"Maybe that's a good thing"
"How in God's name, is that a good thing? Jesus Litta you never put your own safety first. I saw you run up to him and place your hand where you knew you were going to get hurt."
"I had to stop him from killing you Isaac, I don't want you to die either stupid!"
"Besides I've never been important to anyone, so Alden was just taking what was up for grabs… isn't that right"
"Litta, you think no one cares. Why do you think I was there, because I cared about your dad? No Litta… I -I was afraid he was going to go after you when he was done, he's a bad guy Litta."
"I might have thought that too, but why was he protecting me then"
"He wants to play with you Litta! That's all it was"
"Play with the broken doll, what fun is that. Tell me Isaac, who has the right mind to do that!" Litta exclaimed.
Isaac looks away into his window
"You can fix broken things"
"I don't want to be fixed"
Litta gets up and leaves Isaac's room, she avoids Isaac the rest of the day and at night she goes out to the roof because she became nauseous from being in the stuffy old hospital all the time.
"Alden, Alden, please come out. What fun could I ever be, I am just a pain like my father said."
Litta took in a deep breath and listened to the gust of wind rustle through the trees. She begins to hum then sing
"Litta, oh dear. Your love is so sweet, take me to your heart~"
What heart, the lump of stone that sits heavily on her chest never to be broken. Who needs a girl like that? Litta walks over to the edge and leans her body over the rail
She wonder why they wouldn't have bars, especially at a mental hospital, she wondered how falling would feel. Ripping through the wind as her body came closer and closer to the ground, to only feel the rush of it…
"I should break this stone, throw it on the ground and smash it to pieces"
Jump over the rail onto the side, she closes her eyes and stands there partially hoping the wind would knock her over. The stone in her chest ba-pa…ba-pa…ba- pa, it goes silent. Noise, there's ringing now, loud like that time when she was with Alden, was this him? Alden. Litta falls again to her feet, unable to grasp the bar she's falling; she opens her eyes and sees a hooded figure watching and the glint of their smile.
"Who...!" Litta's thoughts raced
"I'm going to die, to be killed by whom."
Litta closed her eyes, she feels warm
"You're all right Litta" the voice whispers
"~I'll be okay~"
Litta being carried safely in someone's arms now, who was there?
"Darling, I've had you all this time. Please don't slip away from me now" The voice fades in and out. Who…?
"Once when I was little, there was a storm, a very bad storm. Everyone ran away from the place but I stood and watched the darkness rise over the sky and engulf the whole world. I'm in the dark, running out to the light. Light will take me, away to where Grace is. My breathing is shallow and I feel cold, where do I go"
"Litta, Litta! Stay with me, I can't lose you again. Please, Please!" A voice screams out.
"Maybe I can't go, I need to find my place here, and it's not time, not time…"
Her body numb, her vision distorted,
There's someone, with me. But not actually here, Litta you can't abandon me, I love you. The voice calls. Love, what is there to love? Her breathe draws faint, it's raining again. Was this the fun? Fun to have and hold people creating madness around me, I was not ready to leave
"Alden, Isaac, stay with me…"
Hospital again, I can't move. It hurts, I'm alive.
"Litta, wake up please. Litta" The rest of the words jumbled.
"I can hear my breathing, the rain and lightning."
Her words, are they heard?
"Can I reach them?"
There are footsteps now they are in my room. Speaking
"Is she going to make it---?"
"She's in a coma, as long as we keep the tubes on"
"I'm in a coma?" Litta thought.
"Unplug them… There's no hope, doctor please?"
"I'm here, I'm here" Litta shouts
Everyone is gone, "what will they say about me"
"Local girl, attempts suicide; falls into coma" Maybe, but that wasn't it. Lies!
I hear humming. Alden?
"I'm here, Litta. Don't worry I'm with you"
"Can you hear me Alden!?"
"I've always heard you, you made me, Litta. I love you"
"Made you?" Litta was dumbfounded by what he meant.
"Your schizophrenia made me; I'm your hate, your regret, your destructive power."
Alden was alive to Litta, but how to Isaac. Isaac had been there, why? She never asked him why he was admitted with her. Litta always assumed he was her guardian angel come to save the day.
Wrong, he was a devil
Alden was there now and for a while.
"He created his own person of me; he acted on his own to hurt others around him while his love for you grew dangerous"
"Why danger, Alden"
"He began to love so much, his other characters began to disappear, to become violent in struggle to regain their emotion"
Isaac was getting better through Litta but he hurt her in the process. Once Litta told him about Alden Isaac subconsciously created a bad guy that would take you away from him, another personality.
"He hurt your father, he had a knife. Unknowingly, of course"
"What about the ringing then"
"Your subconscious, it was saying run away. Quickly"
Litta's body trembled, an alarm that was telling her there was danger, danger. But the crippling fear of losing problem health caused crippling fear. Such a small boy was capable of doing so?
"Who pushed me Alden?"
"Remember when your father was taken away by the other hospital? He got better, he came back. It should be on the tapes"
"He tried to kill me… was that his true intent when he came"
It was all created by Litta, a man, the alarm, the murderous intent that would lead to her end.
"What about you Alden? Why would you attack me?"
"You attacked yourself Litta, you created a monster that loves to hurt than coddle"
Litta understood nether the less still in a coma.
"Pull the tubes"
Litta's father's voice
Isaac was in the background. Screams
"No… no she can't leave, she won't die, please!"
"ENOUGH BOY, SHE'S GONE"
There was soft weeping now, pain and finally silence.
"It was a darker infatuation, I have lost myself".
"Litta, oh dear. Your love is so sweet, take me to your heart~"