My stomach grumbles and I look down at it. It moans at me loudly letting me know it's almost empty. If I'm just now noticing it then it must have been growling for a while. I've become so good at ignoring the signs of hunger. I think back to what I've had to eat today, a few crackers with a lot of water, a piece of toast, and a orange. That was it for the whole day and dinner time had passed about two hours ago. I glanced at the clock, it was 9:30, I just couldn't eat after 8pm that had been my rule forever. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, I knew I could trick my stomach into feeling full as long as I guzzled down a lot of water before bed, and drank a bunch more the thousand times I was going to have to get up to pee all night long.
My eyes were growing heavy, I was always so tired it seemed. I brushed my teeth, jumped in the shower and started getting ready for bed. As I slipped into my pajamas I looked at myself in the mirror, My long blond hair was pulled back in a pony tail for bed, but I almost always wore it down. Every boyfriend I had ever had, always loved to run his fingers through it, telling me how soft and how it smelled so good. My eyes were big, but perfect on me, and so blue I was always asked if they were contacts. I loved my smile my bright white teeth, so perfect, so straight. And I was blessed with a skin completion that made me look like I had year long summer kissed skin. I was so perfect in every way except for being so fat.
I looked at my stomach, it was huge and disgusting. I pinched the excess skin so hard I left a little bruise. I was disgusted with myself. Other 16 year old girls were perfect in every way but I would never be like them with this big fat stomach! Just looking at myself made me want to go throw up all the food I had ate today. I was just a big fat pig! Id been extreme dieting for about 3 weeks and tomorrow I was going to cut my calorie intake in half. I was sick of how I looked.
I crawled into bed, dizzy, and guzzled down my water, another full bottle on the stand next to me. Suddenly a knock at my door and my mom popped her head in the room. “Hey hunny, I did the laundry, I'll have your brother bring your basket to your room tomorrow morning. Don't forget to set your alarm for 8:30am, we have to be up to pick up the last few things for your baby shower tomorrow. I know Ive been hard on you about becoming a mother so soon but I'm going to let all that go. Tomorrow is your day and I'm really excited for you.”