Escaped Back to Reality

Dear Diary,

These last few days have been so scary, tiring, yet unbelievable at the same time. It was an awful choice, what I did, and I will always regret it. I only just arrived back, the remorseful feeling building as I saw my parents looking so relieved and happy that I was back. I felt so bad, and I was even amazed that they had forgiven me.

I had been numerous traumas at home, for a while now. The pressure just kept building and building and it angered me more and more. Before, the pressure would just be there, in the back of my mind, but lately, it would always be bugging me, at the front of my mind. There was also the factor of my relationship with my dad, which never turned out well, no matter how hard I tried. I decided to run away, only for a few days, or a few weeks, whichever worked best for me, as long as when I returned, there might pity me and my parents might begin to realise the trouble they had caused me. At that time, I personally thought that there was no other choice or way that would work, but being the dramatic girl that I was, I was really actually going overboard about the “traumatic” events.

I packed a few belongings, including a few sets of clothing and some warm jackets, my mobile phone, some money, my train ticket and some other essentials. Straight after school, before my parents had come home, I left, while there was still time, still daylight so that I could find a place to stay for the night. I knew I couldn’t stay at any of my friend’s homes because their parents would just call mine straight away, and I couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel, not even a really low budget one. Instead, my choices were to either sleep on the streets or to find some kind of student hostel, or just a family that was willing to let me stay for the night. The student hostel was really just on the next street, and during the evening, I went to see what my parents were doing. They were just minding their own business; I don’t even think they remembered that I wasn’t home. I got really mad and I stomped all the way back to the student hostel. The conditions at the student hostel were much worse than I had thought, and I wasn’t used to such bad conditions, so I did not get a good night’s rest.

In the morning, I realised that I couldn’t go back to school. I just couldn’t!!!! Imagine, then my parents would probably ring up the school, and I would get into huge trouble and everything wouldn’t turn out right, but then again, I realised that they probably hadn’t even remembered that I was missing. Instead, I would just go and find a suitable temporary that did not have such poor conditions as the student hostel. It wasn’t even classified as a student hostel. It was more a squat really. It was almost awful. However, I had to admit that it would still be better than sleeping out in the open, where it would be freezing at night. I wanted to find a place that wasn’t as bad as a squat, but I knew I would still need to pay for a student hostel, so maybe something in between.

Whilst I was out searching, I stumbled upon some events that really grabbed my attention and really made me realised how truly lucky and blessed I was. I went to look in the city first. The city where I lived was really wild, but amazing, there were opposites, the rich side and the poor side. Whilst walking on the streets of London, some streets filled with litter and brushed with dirt, and some so clean, they looked just so new, I came across a homeless family. Not only were they homeless, but they had so few belongings. There was just the mother with her two little kids, a young girl of about 7 and a little boy who was maybe 3. They were just sitting on the ground, the mother, who looked like a gamine, was holding ever so vulnerable little boy. The young girl was around trying to beg for money. One elderly woman gave her a few dollars, and I saw go off to the bakery and buy some fresh, warm bread. She came out with 6 steaming hot bread buns, however, instead of turning around back to her family, she walked on, and I realised that she was walking towards another homeless family, and she offered them 3 of the buns. I couldn’t believe it!!! She was basically starving, and yet she gave them half of the buns. Wouldn’t it be better if her family ate them? I bet that the little girl alone could eat all 6 buns. She looked so fragile, and yet she was giving enough to give to others. It truly warmed my heart as I walked past.

It was in the late afternoon now. I had already gone to look at a number of different student hostels, but none were what I was looking for. I was off to look at the last one when I noticed on the nature strip, there were all these papers. Bending down to look, I realised that they were all bits of homework, and… Wow! She must be really smart, she got all A+ plus. I kept flipping through the papers. I looked around to see who these papers belonged to, because there were only a few shops on this corner, a park and one house. That smart person couldn’t possibly be living in that house, it was so old, and there were holes everywhere, and half the pipes had been broken. Then I heard shouting, an argument, coming from that house. I could only hear snippets of the conversation, something about the girl, Christy, and that she had to go find a job, and that according to her mother, her education wasn’t as important. However, Christy wanted to focus on her education, and I guess that made sense, she seemed to do really well in school. Whoa!!! And I thought I had it bad. She was really smart, but it was useless in her family, only finding a job mattered. She ran out of the house crying, and just sat there. I watched her for a while. She looked quite young, maybe thirteen of fourteen years of age. I heard her mumble a few words and then she went back inside. I looked through the window, and saw that she had no textbooks, just two plain exercise books to write everything in. Wow….

There and then, I realised that I really had made a huge mistake. I wanted to straight home, back home to my soft comfy bed, and so I walked back home. It was only a few blocks away, so it wouldn’t take that long. As I walked, I thought about the incidents I had encountered. Firstly, a homeless family, having so little, yet when they got something, they shared it with others. Then in the disadvantaged family, the girl that was terrific in school, yet she couldn’t afford school, and instead, she had to go find a job. It was amazing to see how the homeless family was so giving and considerate, and the disadvantaged family, well the girl, who tried so hard, so hard to make things work. I bet that girl has so many dreams and aspirations, but she had to do other things against her will.

I finally arrived at home. My parents were so happy that I was back, and I realised that they did actually truly love me. They started gushing and cooing over me. After a few minutes, they realised that I needed sleep, as I must’ve been exhausted; I half-walked, half staggered up the stairs. I had millions of thoughts, all flooding me. I really was truly blessed. Only a few days ago, I thought the worst had come, I mean those things were traumatic, but now after seeing those incidents, I realised that I was actually really lucky. Those people had it way worse than me.

Ok, I’d better go now. I’m exhausted, and I’ve probably exhausted you as well, so good night!