I had just finished a lesson with my tutor and I was up in my room suffering from boredom. I don't really know what was going through my head. Just as I was about to switch on my iPad to go on Booksie, it started raining. It was raining so heavily and so much, I couldn't believe it. I thought I was dreaming at first. I slowly got up to stare out of the window. Out of no-where, there was a thunderstorm and lightning flashed right in my eyes. I closed the curtains then and hid under my bed waiting for the thunderstorm to stop. Then suddenly the word 'Destruction' came into my mind and I knew exactly what to write for sparrow01's Tattoo Love contest. The thunderstorm is my inspiration for this short story.
Enjoy reading, darlings and strangers :)
~Much love <3 XOXO, Ikky.
Three Months Ago
"C'mon Lil, just try it?" My friend, Brittany says for the twentieth time this evening. I swallow down a gulp of fear, as I stare at Brittany's flawless face.
Brittany is making me try a drink; I've never drunk any alcoholic drink before in my life. Even though I am eighteen years old, I've never drank before. I'm not scared of drinking, I'm scared of the after effects, I don't know what to expect.
"Yeah but..." I begin speaking as I brush a hand through my long brown hair. Brittany sighs in annoyance, she hands me a bottle of what looks like beer and asks me to take a small sip. She then says that nothing will happen to me and that it's just a simple drink.
I exhale a breath as I stare at Brittany. I debate with myself whether to listen to her and drink or to play it safe and not drink at all. Brittany shuffles on her feet as she waits impatiently for me to answer. I haven't known Brittany for very long, she's was my classmate in school, we were never close or anything, but then I moved off to College and Brittany went elsewhere. We randomly bumped into each other one day and suddenly we're now here, standing face to face with each other.
I agree reluctantly, only because then Brittany would be off my back. "Okay..."
"Finally..." Brittany sways her arms in the air and shakes her head at me. "Seriously, I have no idea what is so scary about it!"
I un-screw the top and bring the bottle to my lips, I slowly tilt the bottle so the drink pours into my mouth. I blink several times as the liquid travels down my throat; it burns and feels as if my throat is on fire. The beer tastes quite bitter, probably because it's my first time, but what I'm feeling now is beyond anything I've ever felt before.
My head begins to clear up, and the adrenaline rush surges through my veins. I pour the rest of the remains down my throat and smile at Brittany who is staring at me weirdly.
"So...how was it then?" Brittany asks me slowly, probably afraid of my answer.
I don't reply to her question, instead I say something which catches both me and Brittany by surprise. "Pass me another one, Brit?"
"It was that good, eh?" Brittany laughs, but not in a way humours way, more in a 'Let's go out and do some shit' way.
Brittany hands me a Jack Daniel's and I drink one after another. I can't believe how much I've missed out on, this is way better than going to some friend's house for a sleepover -which was the original plan.
I cautiously look around the night club; the music booms off the walls and right into my ears. I can't make out the words to the lyrics because everyone is shouting and the music is so damn loud. In the middle of the club, girls in un-suitable clothing are dirty dancing with random guys. Around the walls of the club random strangers are swallowing each other up - well that's what it looks like to me anyway - whilst other people are doing it on the floor right in front of everyone.
I look around trying to find Brittany but I don't see her anywhere. She's probably found a guy to entertain. I walk slowly past a couple of people, trying to dodge them, but I end up walking right into them anyway. My vision suddenly blurs up and I have no idea where the hell I'm going. Is this what it feels like to be drunk?
Suddenly out of no-where, I feel someone's arms snake around my waist. I feel a rock hard body press tightly against my backside. Instead of pushing them away, I do nothing but stand there.
"Hey, pretty girl," An un-familiar, male voice whispers close to my ear. I feel his hot sickly breath on my cheek, and smell the alcohol coming from his mouth. I resist the temptation to puke all over him.
The stranger with the alcoholic breath turns me around to face him. I smile lovingly at him as I observe his appearance. He is tall and muscular with tattoos all over his arms and neck. He has quite a nice face which compliments his dark hair and dark eyes. I can't make out the colour of his eyes due to the darkness of this club, but I'm guessing he has dark eyes. Everything else I can't make out, but he seems to be attractive because I can see girls behind him begging for his attention.
"Like what ya see, eh?" The stranger whispers close to my ear. He doesn't appear to be drunk, but he stinks of alcohol, almost as if it's his natural scent. "What's your name then?"
"Lily," I reply quickly. "Short for Lilian."
"Ahh, pretty name, just like your pretty face." The stranger pulls me away from everyone until we're standing right at the back of the club. There is a bit more light in this area, and I can see the strangers face now. He has dark brown eyes and dark brown, messy hair. He has stubble across his jaw and he's wearing a t-shirt and jeans. The t-shirt he's wearing is black and nicely reveals his muscles and tattoos.
"Thanks," I reply to his compliment. The stranger trails his finger down my cheek as he stares at me intently. "Your name?"
"Naah, that doesn't matter, pretty." He pulls out a bottle of beer and I watch him drown down half of the liquid in less than five seconds. He then hands it to me. "Want one?"
"Yeah." I take the beer and drink it straight away, enjoying the feeling of the drink and the after effects. The stranger leans down and presses his lips against mine, he kisses and touches me in a way I have never felt before...but I don't stop him. It feels too damn good to finally be out of reality for a change.
And that's all we did, drink, kiss and stare at each other. We didn't talk at all, probably because there was nothing to be said. We just stood there enjoying each other's company. I never thought of myself as someone who would act the way I did then, especially with a stranger. But people change, just like I did on that night with that guy. With that stranger. And that's all he will ever be, a stranger because he never did bother to tell me his name, and I never saw him again after that night.
The only thing I remember about him is one of his tattoos, as soon as I saw it, I knew it was something special. He had a beautiful tattoo that was just below his left shoulder and it read 'Destruction' I asked him about it and he shrugged and said everyone at this club are here to wreck themselves. He said "They are their own destruction." On that night, I never understood what the hell he meant...but I do now.
"Hunny, I'm coming round in a few days; it's been ages since we spent some time together." My mum says sweetly from the other end of the phone. It is true, it's been at least two months since I last saw mum. Once I had enough of my own money, I moved out and brought an apartment on the other side of town. Due to my sudden disappearance, it was difficult for mum or for me to ever meet up. Phone calls are the only we can keep in contact with one another.
"Alright, I'll see you then, mum. Love you." I reply with forced happiness in my voice. Mum replies with 'love you's' and 'goodbye's' and after that I quickly hang up and walk back into Zeke's house.
"What was all that about?" My good friend, Celia asks me as I plop down onto the sofa and take the cigarette she's offering me.
"Mum wants to come and visit. Can you believe that? I don't even know what the fuck to do. I am barely ever at my place anyway, it's fucking empty."
"You better find an excuse then babe," Zeke laughs from the other end of the room. He sways over to me and falls down onto the sofa, holding a beer bottle in his right hand. He's definitely drunk.
"Whatever." I roll my eyes and lean against Zeke. Celia suddenly receives a text and says she has to go and meet her boyfriend, Hutch. So I wave her goodbye and stay seated beside Zeke.
I take a puff of the fag, and close my eyes as I exhale the smoke. I hear Zeke throw away the beer bottle which lands on the laminate floor. I listen to his ragged breaths as he runs his hand up and down my sides. I snuggle closer to Zeke and gently nip at the skin on his neck. Zeke moans in reply as he works on taking my skin tight dress off.
Zeke and I have a weird relationship, he's not my boyfriend and he never has been. I met him two weeks ago at a pub and after getting drunk and all, we somehow ended up at his house. I guess all we have ever been for each other is entertainment, or maybe something more. But knowing Zeke it's probably the first option.
Once he has managed to get my dress off, he removes his t-shirt and jeans. I slowly run my hands along his muscular abs as he kisses my neck. Looking up at Zeke's face, I see how perfect he is. He has dirty blonde hair and beautiful bright blue eyes, he's twenty four years old, but looking at him you'd think he's younger. Zeke peels off my underwear and I close my eyes and let the pleasure overpower me.
A while later I'm lying on Zeke's bare chest. As he sleeps, I listen to his heart beating and feel the rise and fall of his chest. His breaths come out smoothly and I lie awake thinking to myself.
"What is that?" Zeke asks me suddenly as he turns me around completely to stare at my bare back.
"Huh?" I ask in confusion. I quickly realize what Zeke is talking about and I smile to myself at how I almost forgot. "The tattoo?"
"Yeah..." Zeke whispers. I feel him trace the letters of the tattoo with his thumb, shivers run through my body as he touches my bare skin. "I am the...architect...of my own...destruction?"
I can't help but smile as Zeke reads the tattoo that is permanently printed on my back for the rest of my life. The day I first went to a club, was the day I got the tattoo. The words mean a lot to me, and I began to realize how true they were to me personally.
I was always the good girl wherever I went, at school, at home; with my friends...the list goes on forever. I never drank a single drink, I never smoked, I never took any sort of drugs, I never went past the line with any guy -I did nothing. But after my classmate, Brittany took me to a club and insisted I try out a beer, as reluctant as I was, I ended up trying it. It was by far the best thing ever. After that I went wild, I did every kind of shit you can think of.
I was sick and tired of always being good; I wanted to be bad for a change. I wanted to know what it's like to wreck yourself, to not care about anything, to be your own destruction.
Because that's what I am.
"Yes Zeke, I am the architect of my own destruction."
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