When I'm 16
I'm Luke (just Luke - I don't have a surname)
And I will turn 16 in 2 hours and 8 minutes…
I know a lot of people who wish to be 16. I'm one of them but my reasons are a lot different to theirs.
They usually want to be 16 so that they can A) get out of this place B) Get their own place C) Be free D)Have what they call a 'life' . I don't really want any of that. When I'm 16 I want to yes, get my own place, but I also want to go to college and study art, I want to find out my surname, find my parents but most of all I want to travel and explore the art of nature.
Obviously though people, who don't live here, will want other stuff like: famous, become a writer, doctor, and vet….or nothing. Well other stuff.
People who live in this place always say 'why do you want to study art?' My answer to them is 'I like art.' But it's a lot more than that. To me art is not just drawing or painting or making something .It's everything else. Everything has its own art, like for example the art of nature…I believe that everything has its own beauty, and to be able to actually see that with your own two eyes, is one of the best things ever (to me of course.)
Once I turn 16, the following morning I'll be out of this place.
I remember my first day here and how weird everything was. I was 5 then. It was Judy who introduced me to everything.
"I'm Judy. This is your new home." She said it like she was very proud of it.
I just looked at her. Not really understanding what she was talking about.
"I want to go home." I complained.
"You are home." She said impatient.
"NO, NO, NO, NO!!!" I screamed.
This was my tantrum moment. I remember jumping up and down like a mad man.
Judy gave up with me, and took me to my room and locked me in there.
She did this to most people who live here. She still does. But only to the younger kids who don't understand and what she calls 'needs help.'
She used to lock me up at night, and sometimes during the day. Once I turned 7 she stopped doing that. Like the older kids though I got disciplined well more like beat up
Only if I did something bad though.
I've only been beat up 3 times.
The first was when I was 7. I had refused to eat my vegetables.
"Eat this now." Judy had ordered.
"I don't want to." I mumbled
I had obviously made her mad then.
"What did you say? Speak up!" She demanded.
"I-I said I don't W-want to eat it." I stammered.
"Eat this NOW!!" She shouted in my face.
I don't remember saying anything after that. Apart from her face which was bright red like she was going to burst.
The next thing I remember though is being dragged to the 'black room' and being thrown on the floor and beaten with whips, I was wacked and wacked on my arms, legs, face, stomach and back until I had red marks. I don't remember who beat me but I knew for sure that it wasn't Judy.
The second time I was beaten was when I was 11 and this was when I hadn't listened to what one of the other workers had said. She asked Judy about what my consequences could be and Judy said the 'blackroom'
So again I was taken there and yes, beat.
The third and final time was when I was 14, and this was quite recent.
I remember it as if it were today.
Me and Jamie (one of my friends) were out and there is a curfew of when we have to be back. It was 8:00pm. Me and Jamie got back at 8:30pm and we both got in the black room. This was probably the worst because right after that we were told to go to bed, and I couldn't even sleep because of my painful back.
I know that beating up kids is not allowed but we can't exactly go to the police or ring them up or something.
I don't really think anyone has even dared do that cos of the consequences.
I'm writing all of this so you guys know exactly how it is from OUR point of view, and so you can see all the damage you cause us.
I'm not even allowed to be writing this letter actually, because at this place we're not allowed to keep diaries, letters, photos, MP3 players, iPods and any other devices. Your probably thinking well what about phones…we are allowed phones but it's one of those £10 ones in which you can only call and text and NOTHING absolutely nothing else. The only contacts we can have are of Judy, the other workers and of one friend who live here. I have Jamie's.
They check our texts and contacts once every 2 weeks.
So we're not hiding anything.
But we can delete texts though, but no one dares to even do that.
This is my life.
And it has been for about 11 years now.
I can just imagine myself walking out of this place, posting this letter to the police and then sending a copy here (I might keep one too) and then just walking off.
It will be as if I was a bird and flying freely through the sky…and having no one stop you. Not that bird get stopped or anything.
I now only have 58 minutes left until I'm 16. Yes!
Actually I guess it's not all that great leaving, the only reason is because I won't see beautiful Hannah anymore. She's my girlfriend but she's only just became 15. Another year and she'll be leaving too. But the only problem is that she would still be here, whilst I'm gone fulfilling my dream.
We've already talked about what we wanted to do.
"Yeah, I want to go to Art College." I told her, whilst running my hand through her long blonde hair.
"What will I do when you're not here anymore?" She asked sadly.
"Anything you would be doing if you hadn't met me." I joked.
"I'm being serious Luke." She said turning around to face me.
"I know." I added seriously.
I guess I should be grateful about being here because Judy took me in and gave me food, and a roof over my head. But at the same time I know for a fact that I'm not at all grateful.
Who would be grateful if they were treated like dirt?
Even you wouldn't, right?
15 minutes to go now...I don't know what else to tell you, I want to forget but I know it has to be done. I want to forget about the beatings, about how horrible they are, about living here. But you can't forget things like that.
No matter how much you want to erase it out of your mind, you will always have the invisible scar. Something you would obviously remember for the rest of your life.
So that was my life.
But I have so much more to do, to explore...to live for I guess you could say.
When the police get this (hopefully) they would know...what a place this is.
There is nothing more to be said. I WILL fulfil my dreams and nothing is going to stop me.
From Luke (Just Luke, I don't have a surname...yet)