The Ghost Of You
*Inspired by ''Ghost of you'' By Selena Gomez and a great book called ''Kissed by An angel'' by Elizabeth Chandler*
Funny, you only realize what you had once it's gone.
You think it's so unimportant and meaningless to your life that you start believing you don't need it, then you throw it away, out of your mind, out of your heart, out of your life .
Then...that's when it hits you, it's the reason your life was full of colour but you've chucked the colour away replacing it with dullness and painful memories that makes you twist and turn inside and out and all you can think about is the colours you binned out of your life.
I stand next to mum, damp and soggy in my burgundy boots. I shut my eyes tight as the coffin is laid on the ground, feeling darkness suddenly surround me.
''Imogen! Imogen no!''
''Stay away from me, I'm going to...''
A gunshot, a high pitched scream. ''IMOGEN!''
I open my eyes, gasping for air, I feel a wet patch on my forehead.
I'm sweating, in December.
Hot tears well in to my eyes and I bite my lip to stop myself from screaming because my lungs are on fire, my heart is aching because of the hole that has been left in it. I want to die, I want to die, I want todie.
''Stop crying silly. I'm right here'' Imogen laughed, her cheeks turning bright red. I rushed to her, wrapping my little arms around her as if to never let go. She stroked my hair softly.
''Immy! I thought you left me for good,'' I said, crying in to her shoulder. She hugged me tight.
''I'll never leave you, never ever'' She whispered.
I sip the hot chocolate, not wincing as it burns my tongue. I place it down and cup my hands around it, to keep my fingers warm from the blistering weather. ''Merry Christmas, Bea'' Someone whispers and I turn my head away from the window to Delia, who has sat down on the chair in front of me, her eyes shining with spirit.
I shrug and look at my coffee, swirls descending from it, reaching to my nose making me smell a rich, chocolatey scent that makes me feel like I've entered another world. A world where worries are impossible, a world where no one ever leaves you and promises are kept.
''Bea, are you listening to me?'' Delia whispers, making me snap to attention again, I nod at her forcing a small smile. ''You've been lost in your thoughts a lot these days, we're so worried about you'' She says taking a small box out a shopping bag.
She hands it to me, smiling. I thank her as I take it, unwrapping it reluctantly. I've been getting more presents then I expected, this year. And I know half of them are out of sympathy, not christmas spirit.
It's a small framed picture, with an illustration of an angel with blonde locks smiling at me, blinking her big blue eyes. I look at Delia angrily, ''Is...Is this...some kind of....of joke???'' I hiss, dropping the picture on the ground. The sound of the picture dropping makes everyone in the shop look at me.
For once, I don't feel self-conscious about people looking at me. Delia shakes her head, her black locks falling in to her face. ''No, no! I didn't mean it that way, I would never-'' She starts but I'm already out the door, I've left my purse at the shop but I don't care.
My best friend....even my best friend...I start crying, the cold wind whipping my face, making it feel numb. I run, I don't know where but I run and run and run. I nearly slip on the cold ice but I continue running, my hair flying, my eyes bleary because of the cold.
My toes have nearly frozen but that makes me run even faster but then something urges me to stop. The forest, I've reached a forest. I lick my lips and wrap my coat around myself even tighter, I walk towards the forest
''Immy, I don't like it here, can we go home?'' I whispered, tugging on Imogen's coat. Imogen swatted me away and gazed at the small holly tree.
''It's lovely isn't it? Maybe we can chop it down and take it home, to make it our own personal Christmas Tree'' Imogen chirped, her eyes shimmering brilliantly. I shook my head, my lips pursing.
''I don't think the Holly King would like that,'' I muttered. Imogen laughed, ''Who's the Holly King? One of your little pretend friends is he?'' She mocked, grinning madly.
''He ISN'T my friend. He's the king of winter, remember Miss. Mittens told us about him in class? He goes on a hunt for the green man and maybe...maybe he'll hunt us down for chopping a Holly Tree,'' I said, my teeth clattering and it wasn't because it was cold.
Imogen chortled and plucked a holly out of the tree.
''Oooh, I plucked a holly out of the holly tree. Where is your king now eh, Bea?'' She carried on, prancing about plucking more hollies. ''Immy..'' I whispered, my eyes watering.
Imogen stopped picking and I breathed a sigh of relief, but instead she shushed me. ''Did...did you hear that?'' she muttered silently. ''Imogen, stop.'' I shouted but I heard something too. Quick footsteps, crunching on the snow.
Imogen couldn't have been pulling a prank on me because she was standing right next to me.
I gripped her hand and we both screamed, ''THE HOLLY KING!'' and sprinted away from the forest.
I stop in front of a small tree, full of red hollies. I smile to myself and gaze at it, a thought strikes me and with one quivering hand I pluck a Holly from it and gaze at it.
Hollies aren't meant to fulfill wishes but I clutch it to my face, shutting my eyes as tight as I can. I cross my toes and my fingers and wish hard.
''Immy....Immy, come back to me Immy, Immy!''I whisper, tears pouring out of my eyes. I open my eyes, expecting to Imogen to be raising her eyebrows at me, telling me I'm acting like a bloody 5 year old rather than an 18 year old.
Instead I see snowflakes falling softly to the white blanket on the ground and a few fir trees, big, strong and scary.
Suddenly I see a light, illmuinating between two large fir trees, a very big bright light. I see shadows appear from it, blurry shadows. They rush past me to different directions, some even whizzing towards the sky, going faster then a jet.
I'm just dreaming, I've gone mad. I pinch myself.
Wake up, wake up, wake up.
A particular shadow walks towards me and my heart lurches. I want to run, scream and shout and get out of here but my feet are stuck to the snow. My eyes don't move away from the shadow that is coming towards me.
As the shadow comes nearer it's shape changes and it looks more human. It gets closer and closer and the light is getting brighter and brighter but my eyes are still focused on it.
Suddenly my fear turns in to something else. I can't quite explain it, It's like I know this human/shadow, it finally stops in front of me and I can see it's face. A girl, blue eyes, curly locks and a big grin on her face.
She looks familiar but I don't know who she is, my brain does not let me remember, it's like it's frozen. I gape at the girl and I touch her arm lightly, she shakes it off and sticks her tongue out at me cheekily. Suddenly, everything vanishes.
I gasp and look at the Holly I've been clutching. I smile to myself and pocket it,walking away from the Holly tree slowly, the sound of my feet crunching through the snow echoing all around the forest.