Once again, their voices start to rise. Naïve girl, you thought the screams were finally gone, but wrong, like every other time, you are once again. Gone, how can the voices be? You've known, since the day you remember, they will, by no means, leave.
Their voices will continue to make your eyes, rain tears along your face down to the ground.
They will never know, for they are blind, and shall always be.
Into smaller and smaller pieces your fragile heart will once again break. Your blood poisoned will devour your insides and into a monster you shall become.
And blind they will continue to be.
Your voice doesn't come out, not in the past , nor in the present. For the past, when screams were ever present, overflowed your heart with timidity. Dread crept through your body, and engulfed it with an unbreakable barrier, and all the might you put to shatter it was never enough. Your mouth shut, not a single word being spoken, when to scream they start, nowadays, is how it is. Your silent eyes, let your sadness fall, but they don't see, they never see how sad you are. For nothing but hypocrites is what they are.
Today, screams will fill the house.
And yet tomorrow, smiles, who show nothing but fake happiness, will be present.
Howbeit, the day after, naively into the treacherous waves, you will go.
But when night falls, and you think all the winds are finally gone, when the water is calm, and when your heart finally has connected all its broken pieces, crawling slowly, like a snake, the voices will start to rise, slowly picking speed.
To your room you will go, burying yourself in melodies with lyrics portraying your pain , hopelessly hoping the screams will be drowned. Minute after minute will tick away. Word after word will rise again.
By dawn, the falling rain will seep through your room, and one will approach, about the other he shall talk. If go on their own, carrying with life, as if the other of existence in their life never was, he says to you, in a voice so calm and peaceful, you should come with me, and just like the other she shall come. Blaming him, exactly as he has blamed her. Yet, both never, by no means, incriminating themselves.
No response will come from you. For none has cared to simply ask, How do you do?
Their day will go on. Each on their own, pretending nothing's wrong. Forgetting about what happened at home.
While you..You will go to your school once more. Ability to fake your emotions of second nature has become. You will realize that somehow you're just like them. But you will push that thought back away. No one will suspect that your actions are a mere act, for so many years have passed since you let anyone enter inside your true life. They will see you as the goddess of happiness, for smile to anyone and everyone you always do. Never, not once have they seen a tear fall out of your blue eyes. And, none will ever suspect that within all that façade there's a girl who's suffering, a girl lost, whose heart is shattering second after second and falling into a bottomless hole.
The hours will go on. Dull gray classrooms will change, monotone voices will fade. Your school day, so fun and perfect will seem, but it will come to an end. Reluctantly, you will grab your bag and head home. Halfway, it will start to rain, but you decide to slow your pace. So dark the day will seem, with all the clouds closing in, and the rain falling down. The trees, their leaves fiercely moving due to the roaring wind will seem like strangers dancing to a wild tune. The sky will rumble…and suddenly, your mind will remember that night, when two years ago, your parents were out of town. Where? You never knew, the only thing you did know, was that they were on a separate place from each other.
That was the night of your fourteenth birthday, but like usual, they had forgotten, and you couldn't help but cry. Will they ever change you asked yourself, before you heard a rumble in the distance. The lights suddenly went off, and you heard a door close . That's when you knew you weren't alone, just a few seconds had to pass before you saw the intruder enter your room. Your mouth about to scream was, when you saw the knife on his hand.
You took a step back.
But just to find a wall blocking your path.
"Shush, I won't harm you I just want to talk to you." You heard him say, but his vicious eyes revealed the opposite.
He grabbed your hair. Your hands, to push him away tried in vain.
"Someone help me. Let go of me" You screamed over and over again. But no one heard.
He covered your mouth and nose with a damp piece of cloth. A strong chemical. Almost like alcohol entered your nose. Your mind started to fog. Everything appeared so dull.
He let go before your eyes closed.
But he started to take your clothes off.
When your parents came from wherever they were, you tried speaking to them. But it seem, that every time, their voices would start to rise and they never questioned the solemn expression in your face, they never questioned the fact that you had changed. It was until a month passed that your mouth conveyed the words of your pain , but every day you had been such a trivial part of their lives, and so was that day.
You will come out of your daze and will realize your clothes are wet. You will continue your walk, but never speeding up your steps. "Why am I remembering this?" Your mind will ask miserably, for you'd thought you had been finally able to erase that event out of your life. You'd not only lost your childhood to that vile man, but you finally understood that you wouldn't receive even a gram of love from your so called "parents".
Somehow, your feet will take you to the grave where your brother lays dead once again.
The hours will tick away, the sky will cease its rain. Dead silence will haunt you, and you will wish to stay by his grave, and let the cold wind take away your last breath, and your eyes to stop seeing the world, your heart to stop it's beat, and your hands to feel no more.
You will lay there awaiting the awakening of a new life.