Innocence Is Falling

Innocence is falling. Fitting huh? Considering you’re the one who took my innocence. Don’t you remember that night? Come on, how could you not? You don’t remember those kisses, our hands traveling to unexplored parts, the lip biting, the hair pulling, the whimpers and moans? And I fell for you HARD. I wanted you so much. But you don’t remember that do you? Any of it.

Of course you don’t. Cause you dropped me like yesterday’s newspaper. Barely a week after I gave you my virginity. Nice way of breaking up with me, I give you points for style. Sending me a text telling me to meet you in the cafeteria. I walk in and you’re trying to suffocate Maria with your tongue in front of everyone. All my old friends just shook their heads at me. Their looks saying we told you he was a bad guy. You’re on your own now. Get one of your new friends (his friends) to help you out.

I stared for about five seconds. Walked over, kicked you as hard as I could in the place where you had talked me into putting my mouth on. You crumbled to the ground yelling at me. I’m pretty sure some of those things you yelled included bitch and fucking whore and cunt but whatever I don’t care. How can you even live with yourself? You fucking cheater. I had nowhere to go. My old friends had turned their back on me; my new friends were your friends. I grabbed my stuff, turned around and walked out to my car. There’s no more us, just me. I heard footsteps behind me, probably just douchebag coming to yell at me. So I got in and drove, hell I don’t know where I went, I just want to be alone. All I know is that I ended up in the middle of nowhere at some park.

I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall under your spell. How you convinced me our relationship was worth fighting for. Do you remember how hard I fought? For us? I believed in us. I thought you believed in us. I guess I was wrong, it was all for nothing.

Innocence is falling. My naivety is gone. I’m not gonna pretend to be stupid anymore. We sucked together. We had nothing in common. I play violin, you play guitar. I love pop music and musicals, you listening to Mayday Parade and rock music. I hate drinking, you love it. I’ve never even seen a cop up close, you’ve been arrested six times. Each time I had to bail you out. I want my $400 back asshole. My phone buzzes on my side.

“Hello?” I sigh and a voice I haven’t heard in a while answers back.

“Um hey Langston… it’s Harriet… I saw what happened today at lunch are you ok?” She says in her always timid voice. I try to keep my anger in check.

“Oh I’m peachy considering I just got dumped in the most public way ever. Thanks for asking.” I say in my always sarcastic voice.

“Well you sure got back at him. I got up to follow you but you were already gone…” I freeze. That was Harriet following me today? Not douchebag?

“You- you were?” I stutter.

“Yeah, I knew you needed a friend. I, we all wanted to be your friend still but Derek always stared at us funny whenever you brought him around and it freaked us out. I’m sorry we stopped being friends… I shouldn’t have let that get in the way. I’m so so sorry Langy…” She sniffles softly. She’s crying?

“Harriet please don’t cry… I’m sorry you were right. He and I weren’t meant to be together, it was all for nothing.”

“Hey where are you? Geraldine, Bethany and I will meet you if you want someone to hang out with.” I sniffle hard and try to hold back tears. Mimicking her timid voice I say,

“Sure I’m at,” I flip open my phone and check my location on Google Maps, “I’m at Sherwood park.”

“Isn’t that where we used to play when we were little? It has that big slide right?” I look over and see that slide a little ways away. Memories of Derek and me and replaced by my friends and me when we were children. Playing on the slide, our biggest hurt was scrapped knees, our biggest regret was not getting to play house, and we spent too much time on the slide. We’re all older now, that slide isn’t so big now and there are a lot worse hurts that scrapped knees and bigger regrets than not getting to play house.

“Yeah it is. You know what? Let’s make today count. Lets go play on the slide and forget all this bullshit. We should play house.” I say. She laughs softly.

“Sure I’m cool with it. See you in twenty?”

“Yeah Harriet. Thanks.”

“Why are you saying thanks? This is what friends do. We stick by each other, we’ll always be by your side Langy.”

“That’s why I said thanks. I thought you all had dropped me for good.”

“Never.” I hear Bethany say. “We’ll be there in fifteen now. Go see if we can even fit down that slide anymore.” She laughs.

“I will. I love you guys.”

“We love you too.” All three of them chime. I guess I’m not alone anymore.

Langston