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Hi, this is the first time I've ever considered thinking about my past. I am a 20 years old girl, and my childhood life was miserable.

Submitted:Aug 19, 2012    Reads: 101    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   

Hi, this is the first time I've ever considered thinking about my past. I am a 20 years old girl, and my childhood life was miserable. But when did all this pain started? When my life did becomes the saddest life a person ever can have? I'll tell you how it all started.

As a child I went through a lot of things, if you ever heard of me, you would had known me as the Fun, Nice, Innocent next door girl; the girl who had many friends and seems perfect. Did you ever truly know me though? Did I really seem perfect? I was known as a smart and kind girl, but the years that changed me was the year that my parents separated, and I remembered it like it was yesterday. When my mom and dad separated, I was sent to live with my aunt - my mom's sister and I was still a little girl at that time, I was like 2-3 years old. My aunt never had any kid, so she was very happy when they sent me to live with her, and since I was still a child I never really knew what was going on 'cause no one bothered to explain to me, but deep down I felt like my parents never wanted me or loved me. My aunt did everything she could to pleased me, but there's nothing she could do to make me happy.

After 2 years, I started calling her 'Mom' because. she was more than an aunt to me She was the mother I wished I had, my aunt wanted me to get a better education, so she found a school for me, and we both went to the school and she registered me. I was very excited to start going to school and making new friends, but it was harder than I thought it was going to be. My first day in school, the kids made fun of me mostly because I was different, I was very light and had very long hair, during lunch time at school, I used to tried sitting with some of the kids but they'll tell me to get away from them. I used to go home everyday crying, when my mom (aunt) noticed it, she decided to start home schooling me herself. Everything was going perfectly until my mom got very ill, it was just the two of us and I was 8 years old now, it was a complete nightmare for me, because I was now alone and I had no one to turn to for help because my only mother in the whole wide world was ill, but luckily for me a lady in the neighborhood use to cook food and bring it for me, but it was not really a luck because the lady poisoned the food, not knowing it, I ate the food, few days passed, I became very ill and I mean very ill, but at that time my mom was much better now.

Unfortunately, the people in the neighborhood blamed my mom for my illness, they called the poor and Innocent woman a witch, but she wasn't a witch she was the only mother I had and when my uncle - father's brother heard that I was sick, he came and told my mom that he wanted me to go and live with him and his wife, but my mom said ''no'' she told my uncle that I was her only daughter and that she wasn't going to let me go, so he decided for them to ask me who I wanted to stay with and of course he knew that I was going to choose my mom, so he said that there was no point in asking me, that's how he went in the house and collected my belongings and we drove away, I never got to say good-bye to my momt and she was crying as we drove away and that was the last time I saw my mom.
When we got to my uncle's house, his wife welcomed me and took my things in their guest room, but I must admit he had a very beautiful house it had everything you could possibly imagine. My uncle was nice to me for only a week, and then suddenly everything changed, I was not allowed to touch anything in the house without his permission; I was not even allowed to go out; in fact, I was not allowed to do anything. During my childhood, it was a complete nightmare, all the things I used to enjoy doing was all taken away from me.

For months, the old man mistreated me like I was not a human being. Then finally in 2001 when I was 10-11years old, my uncle sent me to my real mom and it never took too long my mom and dad sent me, my oldest sister and another family members to Ghana and we were greeted by some family, and when the lady saw me she said that she wanted to adopt me, I was very happy when she said that, because I felt that God truly loves me, after all the things I've been through, he finally sent an angel from above to be my mom so I moved in with them and things was going perfectly well, and then when I was 13 in 2004 we moved to Norway. I was enjoying my new life now, although, I was happy, deep down I was still sad, because few years passed I heard no news of my real family. Things got even worse, some times at nights when I think that I'm running out of hopes, I cried and cried till I fall asleep, then suddenly everything changed to worst, I was being molested by my heartless cousin constantly, at the tender age of 13 and this continued for months, he told me if I ever told anyone, no one would believe me. He would come into our room and start fingering me even though he knew that I was not asleep. Though I was far away from my biological parents, we communicate through phones; my dad was the only person I could talk to freely without being afraid because he showed me that he cared and loves me, so he was the first person I told the day after my cousin fingered me, and my dad told me to keep it to myself because no one in the family would believe me especially my aunt, and it was understandable enough because I always had that fear in me to open up to my aunt. Even when I was down, and needed someone to talk to, I tried showing some signs that something awful and unbearable was happening to me, but I was ignored.

Then a year or 2 passed and we moved to a new state and although I was not being molested, I was mentally destroyed. I had lots of flashbacks as to when I was younger, and it was very difficult for me to concentrate in school. I was taking advantage of and disrespected, but as a child I grew up lying, making up stories and convincing everyone that I was okay and everything is perfect, but that is fairly common among abused/molested children, but I want for my family to know that no matter how they try to destroy me, I will always have a smile on my face, because I know that everything they've done or are doing to me, one very beautiful day I will be the one smiling and jumping with joy.

And for those of you who would read my story, please, if you've gone, or are going through the same thing I went through, try contacting a psychologists to get some help, because this is a very serious situation. It happened to me twice after so many years of forgiving my cousin, this is why I said to myself ''people must get to know the truth'' and to be honest, I don't care how some people will look at me, because all I want is justice simple, this is something I've always been praying and hoping to get one day.



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