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WHERE DID I SEE GOD TODAY?

Short Story By: Pratibha
Young Adult


Hi Everyone. Here I am with a short story based on MA's challenge. The title was "WHERE DID I SEE GOD TODAY?" and the word limit was 1800.The story completed with 1893 words excluding what happened after 10years (Addendum).

DO SHARE YOUR VIEWS AS TO 'WHERE DO YOU THINK GOD IS?"

ALL CRITICISMS AND SUGGESTIONS ARE HEARTILY WELCOME AND PLEASE HELP ME CORRECT THE USAGE OF TENSES...I KEPT JUMPING TENSES. SORRY FOR THE INCOVENIENCE. I WILL SURELY CORRECT IT IN THE NEXT EDITING.

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TO THIS PAGE.

The SNAP HERE IS OF MY MOM AND MY SON ( WHEN he WAS 2 YEARS OLD)

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Submitted: Jun 8, 2008    Reads: 454    Comments: 57    Likes: 27   


 
Where did I see GOD today?
Divya, Ayush, Natasha, Vaibhav, Nikhil and Shatabdi were best friends. They all studied in Class 9th. They were always spotted together, giggling, chatting, doing all sorts of mischief and they were just like any normal teenagers growing up together in a small town in Maharashtra, India.
After dinner, they used to meet every day around 9.00pm near the banks of the river flowing next to Vaibhav’s home.
One day when they all met there, Vaibhav said, “Today I have a topic for discussion.”
“Hey, there he goes again...no studies today please...spare me...” Nikhil said and rolled his eyes towards sky. All of them started laughing.
“No! Buddy, chill. I was only asking to discuss something really interesting. The other day I saw Shatabdi’s Mama returning from temple and I had this feeling that did GOD live only in Temples, Church, and Mosque etc...? I thought HE was everywhere, in you, in me, in air, in water, in all elements of nature and in all human beings.”
Vaibhav searched for signs of approval on his friends’ faces.
All of them were listening to him attentively.
“What? Do I look like a monkey? Why am I being stared at?”
“Nope, it’s not that. You are so young but you think so deeply over issues we take for granted.” Divya spoke softly
“Okay, buddy, Can you tell where you saw GOD today?” volunteered the cheerful and naughty Shatabdi.
“Hmmm.....Let me start first.” Said Vaibhav, “the thought of GOD existing outside temple/church/mosque came to my mind each and every moment I saw my parents working hard for me. They work so hard to provide me good food, education and shelter that they forget what they need. For me, they are my GOD and will always be. Like the saying in Sanskrit I would never be able to repay their love in 7 re-births. I pray to Almighty to give me the strength to support them in their old age. That’s all.” Tears started rolling down his cheeks.
“It’s okay, let these pure tears flow buddy. Don’t feel ashamed. You are right. See all of us have tears in our eyes. It’s okay.” Divya said and kept her hands on his shoulders.
“Now, my turn. Well, I see GOD in the face of a child. Wow, they are so innocent. And GOD resides in their pure and flawless soul is what I believe. I may be wrong. But every morning when I see my baby sister smiling at me, I feel as if GOD is smiling at me. Initially when she came home, I used to hate her because she was the center of attraction all the time, but now I love her and care for her more than myself. Boy, I sounded so mean when I admitted that I hated her.” Natasha said and cuddled near Ayush.
Ayush hugged her and said, “Nope, you did not sound mean. You sounded honest and that is why I love you...I mean we all love you.”
Everyone started laughing at Ayush’s blushing face.
“Okay, okay, enough of making fool of me. Let me see where did I see GOD today? Let me tell you all a truth today. A truth I had always hidden in my heart always and I think I should confess today.” Ayush sighed.
“Are you alright?” Natasha looked worried.
“I am okay honey. It’s just that I am scared that you will refuse my proposal to marry me. For me, my love for you is like praying to GOD. I am sure GOD will acknowledge this pure love. I have nothing else to give you except love and honesty. But you see, I belong to a poor family and you are so rich. I can never be so selfish to drag you out of the comfort you are used to and throw you in poverty just because ‘I love you.’ And so I will try hard to get into a professional course and earn lots of money to give you the life you are used to. If I would be successful, I would approach your parents. If not, I will never trouble you. I am sorry that I said it all in front of everybody. I am sorry, Natasha.”
Natasha said nothing and only hugged him tight.
“I will wait for you forever because I know you will succeed.” She said.
Everyone clapped happily and cheered them.
“Congratulations and Celebrations,” said Shatabdi and started teasing the love birds.
“Okay, okay, everybody, please be quiet. Now, it’s my turn,” said Nikhil, “I hope all of you won’t laugh when I will say that I see GOD in a beggar who comes to our home every morning and I always give her a sandwich when Mom is not looking. Please keep this a secret.” Nikhil hushed.
“Don’t worry sweetheart, we will.” Divya said.
“I will tell you the story of this beggar. This old lady’s husband was a rich businessman and they lived 3 blocks away from ours. They had 2 sons and were a happy family. Last year the husband died of heart attack but according to his will, his wife got all the property. This made the sons angry and they took the signature of their mother, an innocent angel, over new will. She never suspected their ulterior motives. Which mother will? And once they acquired the property, they shared it between them and kicked the mother out. This is the story I heard from our neighbour Khanna uncle. I felt so sad for her. I had once met her near garbage can where she was picking up something to eat. I decided to ask her to come to my house every morning and I would share with her my breakfast. My Mom is happy that my appetite has increased. ” Nikhil chuckled and all of them hugged him so tight that he was almost breathless...
“Okay Okay...OKAY...I am glad you all did not make fun of me,” he said.
“Make fun of you?? Are we mad or something? You are doing something; we never thought we will ever do. Your parents don’t know how lucky they are to have a sensitive son like you,” Vaibhav said, “And you made all of us proud.”
“Now, it’s your turn Shatabdi,” Natasha poked her.
Shatabdi’s facial expressions changed and anger was written all over her face now...
“You know, Jimmy, that street dog who used to come to my home every night for leftover food, died today morning. And you know why? Yesterday night, the notorious gang of kids from the posh colony tied a bunch of crackers to his tail while he was sleeping and lighted it. When Jimmy realised that, he started running frantically and burnt himself up completely. It all happened in the night and so I could do nothing to save poor thing. My Jimmy is no more. What did he do to deserve this? Why they did this to the poor animal? Could not they see that he is also a form of GOD? I am not able to forget him. But I am going to lodge a complaint with the board of directors of their Apartments. I would not sit quietly till those kids get punished. Jimmy was not rabid and they had no rights to kill any animal for their fun.” She said seething with anger and tear filled eyes.
“We all will accompany you. It is our battle now,” Ayush said in a strong voice.
“Thanks a lot folks. Mom and Dad have given their consent as long as long I don’t neglect my studies, which I would not. So shall we start from tomorrow?”
“YEAH!” all of them shouted in unison except Divya.
All eyes turned towards her. She was staring at the twinkling stars.
“It’s okay Divya, if you don’t want to come.” Nikhil said.
“Did u say something to me? Sorry, I was not listening.”
Suddenly tears started rolling down her cheeks like pearls. Everyone was startled. What happened suddenly?
“All of you would not believe if I would say that I had a baby sister who was born last year.” She almost choked when she said this.
Everyone was shocked. Divya had a baby sister. Where is she now? What happened to her? Is that the reason her mother was away for a long time and Divya had told them that her grandpa was sick and so Mom had gone to take care of him in the village. She lied. Why?
“My mother got pregnant accidentally and she did not want the child and so she left for Grandpa’s home. But Granny convinced her to have the baby. Mom came back but she was never happy. I heard her saying to Papa one day that she hated this child since having another kid would mean she would miss her promotion. I was asked strictly not to tell anyone regarding this. And 4 months before delivery, Mom got the permission to do her work from home and left for Granny’s place. With passage of time, I grew anxious and started collecting toys for the kid. I was so excited. Finally the day arrived when Mom delivered a baby sister. I was sure that her angelic face would take away all tensions. But alas!” She started sobbing uncontrollably.
“Hey! What happened? Divya? Divya? Are u alright?” Natasha hugged her tight and all of them did not know what to say and how to react. They were dumbstruck.
“She was diagnosed to have Down’s syndrome. And that’s it. Mom just dumped her in the special kids’ boarding school and returned back. I was told to zip my lips forever. How could I? All of you tell me, how can I forget the cute smiling face on my baby sister’s face begging for comfort, love and care?”
“My mother did it and did not even pause to think. Sorry about that guys. Let’s go. It is getting late. Mom would start shouting now.” She rose and started walking slowly towards her home.
“Wait for me, Divya. I will come with you. Okay bye guys, see you all tomorrow in school. I need to be with her.” Shatabdi said in a hurry and ran to catch up with her friend.
All of them sat in silence for a while and then decided to go home. All of them were sad because they could do nothing to help the old lady who was thrown out by her own sons, Jimmy who was burnt so mercilessly and then the final blow was Divya’s sister.
“GOD must be watching all this from heaven and would have planned proper punishment for these people.” Natasha said and started sobbing quietly.
Everyone was overwhelmed with emotions.
“Let us take a vow that we would never sell ourselves, our morals and our values whatever happens. Are you guys with me?” Vaibhav said in a strong voice.
“YEAH!” all of them agreed unanimously.
 
The Future:
 
10 years after:
Vaibhav, a qualified computer engineer, working and settled in US with his parents, wife and son.
Divya and Ayush entered Medical field.
Divya specialised in Physical and Mental rehabilitation and married a fellow doctor in the same field. She brought her sister back to her own home against her parents’ protest. Her husband supported her decision.
Ayush became very successful in his chosen career in Clinical Haematology. He married Natasha who had by then obtained her degree in Interior decoration. Natasha delivered a sweet baby boy last year and they were very happy with each other.
Nikhil joined his father’s business and settled in Mumbai, capital city of Maharashtra. His parents lived with him. He took the old lady to an old age home where he supported her stay till she died 2 years back.  
Shatabdi managed a voluntary organisation for the care of street animals. She settled in the same town.
                              The End                        
 
 
 
 
 


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Comments:

Ahh, that was a wonderful story. I thought it was very emotional. I loved it. :) I have a friend whom's brother was also diagnosed with Down's Syndrome at birth. It's very sad to think about, but she doesn't let his condition get in the way of her love for him.

Now, as for your question 'Where do you think God is?', well I think God is in everyone who believes in Him. I think He is a very personal being who dwells in the soul of the kind and faithful. But humans and animals aren't the only restrictions. God is found in nature, for nature is a good thing. However He does not exist wherever evil may be present. :)

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Angela, like your name, you are also an angel....

MAY GOD BLESS U always with HIS kindness.....

Lovely thoughts.....this is what i called power of a teenager...

Oh wow. This almost made me cry, and I never cry. How sad for that baby sister! Her parents left her because she was different! Oh the thought makes my heart hurt.

Wonderful emotion. God is everywhere, in everything. He has no limitations.

~Kaori

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

U know what Kaori, when I selected the baby with DOWN's syndromw, i had you in my mind since u love these kids....

Thanks for inspiring me buddy....GOD BLESS YOU .....

...
That was so very sad.. :( It almost made me cry. How a parent could do that to their child, I'll never know. And I'm not even a mother. Heh.

~!~Megan~!~

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

AND i know that the teenagers of this ERA will change the history...And that is why I chose them as protagonists....I indeed believe that all of you can huge difference and teach adults lots of lesson.....
Thanks MEGAN....Thank you so much

Wow...what a wonderful story...I really like it!!!!!
To b honest, I cry when I read this...that was good!
Luv it!n_n

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks ORANGE....Thank YOU so much.. It made me so happy that you came honey. And also that you did like the story, and you could feel the story. Thanks for such a sensitive comment.

It's... wow. God truly is everywhere and I believe that with all my heart. There is darkness everywhere, but, as you showed in these teens, there is also light. A very beautiful and amazing peice. =) Mandy

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Hiya MANDY thank you so much for taking out of a busy schedule for me and your views as a teenager made my faith strong as well that TEENAGERS sure have the 'power' to revive the lost faith back in the world....full of deception and hatredness.....love u honey....

^_^ oh Pratibha, you are wonderful story teller!

I was captivated through the whole read.

yes, how do I see God? as a captivating essence pervading everything.

Thankyou for this special read Pratibha
have sweet dreams tonight ^_^ God Bless you ~katie

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh Katie i was waiting for you so eagerly and was apprehensive whether i missed points....that's for sure....because as you said buddy HE is everywhere....Same to you katie...
GOOD NIGHT and sweet dreams...soothing dreams....lovely dreams....thanks once again...

...........that was so beautiful!
i love how u made teenagers the ones to talk about this.
i believe god is everywhere too, but especially in the rustling of the trees on a breezy day. its like hes saying, look frankie, look at the beauty of the world i made.

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

WOW....I would not write anything here....let the breeze do the talking...this is so nice and sweet. Thanks Frankie. I can see GOD does talk to you and HE surely talks to INNOCENCE. God bless you.

Wow, I really, really liked this short story. Very sweet and innocent. I very nice suject to write about to. It was very well written, and I could just picture the whole thig in my mind's eyes, like I was really there. I really loved it. ^^

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks BUDDY.....
It felt so nice that you liked the simplicity of the story. I was indeed apprehensive.
Thanks, this comment made me strong.

Very well done. As for where I think God is I think he is alpha and omega, he is everywhere and everything, that is righteous, pure, and holy. He is with me everyday at every hour.

Though I do have to question about today's generation of teenagers, especially American teenagers, some have no general knowledge of how to live as an adult, so that hurts their chances of ever changing the world. For example teenagers having kids before they have finished their general education. It's a sad fact, but true for many here, but there are those few who will make a difference.

~DarkFairy~

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

AMEEN...THANKS FAiry...THANK YOU SO MUCH...this OPTIMISIM IS CONTAGIOUS....
GOD bless you honey.

where is GOD?

HE's everywhere. everything these kids said have truths. for once, Vaibhav said he sees GOD in his parents. as a christian, i'm constantly reminded to honor my parents, obeying their words and caring for them. it's in the ten commandments so whenever we are honoring our parents, we are honoring GOD because HE wants us to respect and love our fathers and mothers.

Natasha said that she sees GOD in the face of little children. i remembered JESUS said once that one whose heart is like a child have an access to Heaven. Children are pure, innocent, far from the knowledge of good and wrong. GOD cares for them deeply. so if HE sees anyone hurting young ones, HE won't like it.

Ayush said he sees GOD in his love for Natasha. this is true. once a man found the woman he loved so much and they get married, they'd become one. if the woman is hurt, he'll feel as bad as her and vice versa. GOD demands husbands and wives to honor their marriage and respect each other. so, in marriage too we find GOD.

Nikhil said he sees GOD in a beggar. how true this is. whenever we help the homeless and the needies, we are actually making the angels dance.

Shatabdi tells of the dog, Jimmy. GOD had demanded that we don't kill animals for fun. it is sadistic to do such thing... (being a dog lover, i hate what they did to Jimmy)

and that baby... i believe GOD loves little babies, and HE wants us to protect them and care for them.

This is heartmoving, Pratibha. Thumbs up for the short story:D I love it so very much:)

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

ANd I LOVED every word of this comment. Such a nice summary. thanks LUNA.....*HUGGING*

honestly... I didn't read the story yet... but I gotta tell, the title is an eyecatcher :) and definitely a head turner !!! :)

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Wik honey would u come back again and read it? the title sure is the BEST thing in my life and i am lucky MA selected that for me. I am grateful to her

I thought you wrote this story very well, but as to your question where do you think God is...well...not sure if my answer is what your looking for. I'm assuming you mean God as in the Christian God, but I'm Wiccan. If your wondering where I think the Wiccan God and Goddess are then my reply is everywhere. They are in the trees that surround us, the grass and dirt we walk on, the air we breathe, the sun, the sky, the moon, the water, the fire...they are everywhere. But if your questions is where do I think the Christian God is then my reply is nowhere because I don't believe in him. I hope that helped...

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

YES TORI, I agree with you.
Nope this story is about GOD AND ONLY GOD....no christianity, no hinduism, no jainism, no buddhism...nothing.....

This is about GOD and just GOD like you rightly said, "HE is EVRYWHERE"....."EVERYWHERE".....

LIKE you even i hate when people associate GOD with a particular religion and make it a issue as to 'whose GOD is powerful?"

But I am glad that we have teenagers like you who think different.
I am a Hindu but I worked for a long time in a Christian medical College because it was not the TOP most MEdical colleges in India but also THEY HAD WORK ETHICS....That's all....So whenever I would have to choose a place to work , i would go by ETHICS and QUALITY OF PATIENT CARE....it would never matter which Religion community that set up belongs to.
I also worked in a Hindu Mission ( so called ) private hospital for 6 months but left the place because it was such a 'sick'place to work ...they would do anything to extract money from poor patients and though my pay check was impressive, i chose to sit at home rather sell myself there.

What a wonderful, uplifting story! The story of the beggar lady struck me especially. I think you did a very nice job. As for "Where Did I See God Go?" I think you did a great job of showing us that God is in everyone. Very nice job!

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

*hugging tight*
Thanks a ton....thank YOU buddy

hi there, i admire the way you took teenagers to do the talking for you... What's interesting is that teenagers in today's society hardly ever talk about God and their believes. It's not "cool" If more teenagers think about what God does for them our world will be a much more beautiful place to live in. Just a question? Is this a true story? It's filled with emotion and compassion.

Today I saw God when I opened my eyes and I was able to see. When I opened my mouth and I was able to speak. When I touched and I was able to feel. When I listened and I was able to hear.

When I took my food and I was able to taste and eat.

When I looked at my house and I realised I had a place to stay. When I looked at my bed and realised I've got a warm bed to sleep in. When I got in my car and went to work, I've got work I can provide for my family.

God is everywhere...... God makes everything possible. God loves everyone more than you can possibly love yourself. He forgives all your sins and he understands you.

I can see God now, working through you to talk to everyone here, including me.... To remind us of how GREAT AND POWERFULL he is......

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

OH MY GOD....SUCH A HEARTFELT COMMENT.

Jimmy's part is a true story from my childhood. rest all is fiction.

THANK YOU SO MUCH......

I will let ur comment do the talking and I WISH PEOPLE READ UR COMMENT WITH OPEN EYES, EARS and MOUTH to savour the truth.....

U would be surprised buddy, some of the teenagers who write in booksie are different from the convetional rebellious types...they r sensitive, respect elders, believe in GOD.

I fact i got an idea about writing a 'note of thanks' to these kiddos.

i would a small research and come back with names and their works soon.....
THANKS FOR THIS WONDERFUL INSPIRATION.

I was deeply moved and touched by this story. It brought tears to my eyes. Seeing the sensitivity of these children and watching how they grew up into caring responsible, and loving adults was so beautiful. You are a powerful writer, Pratibha and I am glad to have met you even though it is over the internet. If I saw you in person I would give you a big hug.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

ME too...ME too....
*HUGGING U TIGHT*.....

There are others that are not worthy to be parents...thats for sure...I loved it. Am a sucker for emotions so this hit me good. A completely brilliant piece Pratibha.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

DEAR DEV, u know how ur comments encourage me so much ....Thanks would be a small small word....still THANK YOU.....

I forgot to say how lovely your mother is with your young son.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

*smiling gratefully*
and the little one is very naughty

Since his birth , My MOM used to visit us frequently since i was doing my PG and so he grew closer to my MOM and both of them would cry when she goes back to her place after 10-15days of her stay....

He loves her very very much and it feels so good.
Can I hug you for such a sweet comment?

Hello,
i liked ur short story, the idea behind it and the sentiment you portrayed are commendable. UR characters were all intresting and the dialogue was mostly crisp. Here are a few things which i think you can improve upon.
1. you need to pick up the pace of ur narrative, it needs to flow more realistically.
2. You need to work on some of the dialogue especially the longer parts of it. Try to break up the dialogue by adding aspects of the characters surroundings and their feelings.
3. you also need to let the readers see, smell and feel your characters in addition to merely listening to what they have to say. Bring out their emotions and describe their stories a little more. Also describe their physical characteristics a bit more.
4. last but certainly not the least u really need to work on the editing of this piece, in a poem if you make a few grammatical errors a readers intrest does not wane but if you do the same thing in a story than the pace and drama of ur narrative diminishes, and a reader loses intrest.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

THAT ONE WAS SUPERB COMMENT.....

I WOULD CERTAINLY TRY HARDER NEXT TIME FOR MAKING THEM REAL...AND LET READERS 'FEEL', SMELL' AND 'SEE' THE CHARACTERS....
THEN IT WOULD FEEL AS IF A MOVIE IS GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES.....WOW.....

THANK YOU SO MUCH
PLEASE ONCE AGAIN, DO MODIFY SOME OF THE DIALOGUES AND TEACH ME HOW TO FRAME THEM....

THANKS SIR, THANK YOU SO MUCH

hi! pratibha. this is a great one on friendship and upholding moral values. its the need of the time. good work. lol. ;-)

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS Bubbles...needed this encouragement badly honey

uma baskar
(not registered user)

A very nice story, narrated very well, i enjoyed reading it. The photo you have posted looks really good and very apt for this topic as well. Keep writing!

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Nope UMA, u cannot escape with such short comment
U did not share what u think about GOD.
Waiting for u ....

Aw, what a great story! It's shocking what people will do, but there the children showed more moral than the adults and I think that is a statement in its self. Children can see things differently are often more accepting than adults. They don't have judgements to bare... not yet anyhow. A great read Pratibha, I'm inspired now. :) ~ Nixie

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Nikki, *HUGGING TIGHT*
Thanks sweetheart for coming here inspite of ur busy schedule.
thanks buddy

You can breathe now, lol.
You did a wonderful job with the story. I do truly believe that God is everywhere, in the faces of us all, in our homes, in nature, in spirit. I somewhat agree with XxEmoHeartxX... Do you speak of a Certain God, or the God of us all?

Personally, I don't belive in religion. Religion is man made. I belive we are all worshipping the same God, we just have different perspectives on Him. That's just my personal opinion.


I was going to let you know about some mistakes, but Azmat Shah commented with the same things I was going to say.


Either way, you did an excellent job. You took the challenge and totally delivered with a story that is bound to bring up questions, plenty of comments, and LOTS of opinions!!

MA

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

YEAH MA, i think I should breathe now....Have been breatheless for a long time now, thinking about what should I portray ? GOD IS EVERYWHERE...WHERE TO START AND WHERE TO END?

YES I also agree with you on the religion issue...it's all man made and for their benefit. For example in India religion plays a huge role in getting votes and in communal riots.

I HATE IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY SOUL

THANKS buddy
I know there r lots of mistakes and blunders I was so overwhelmed with the theme that I got entangled in the sequences....Hope AZMAT would help me 'GROW" as a writer

That was a wonderful story. It was an expression of one's faith about God's presence. ^^

God is everywhere. When we do something holy, we are close to Him. Holy doesn't only mean praying or going to mass. It also involves doing ordinary things--talking, playing, dancing, singing, anything that we do selflessly.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

yes JADEY that's the answer....that's the 'perfect'feeling.....thanks for being here sweetheart...u know ur comments cheer me up because they r selfless.....

A moving story, indeed. You were given a word limit and you have managed to say a lot within that.

I think you should also write an expanded version of the story, with some added elements like adding some more narrative and sensory elements - if you want, you can divide it into chapters and write. There's a lot of potential here for further development of the story - for eg., the mean boys who burnt the dog could turn really nasty and try harrassing the teen friends when they attempt to raise their voices against them; the mother who dumped the Down's child realizing her mistake when she herself becomes invalid due to some accident (and then her own daughter shames her by taking good care of her), etc.

It's not necessary, of course, if you want to keep the story simple, because there's a beauty in it the way it is, already.

I'm not a follower of organized religion, but I am deeply spiritual. I agree with all here who say that they see God in every little thing in our lives.

I would also like to add that apart from the things that have already been mentioned here, I also see God in acts which have been executed in a planned and efficient manner (because I have seen that not everynoe is bothered about it), and also in the desire of people for self-improvement, when they seek beauty, love and embrace life.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you so much URJA....

Yes what you wrote is absolutely right.
The way u described to 'expand' is too good...yes that sounds so 'realistic'.....
i need ur help for that buddy

*scrolling*
finally! i made it to the comment box!
hahaha alrighty - well pratibha, you have written a marvelous story!! i absolutely loved it! very touching, heartwarming, and deep.

my only critique is that it seemed a bit TOO deep for teenagers; depending on the age it varies how deep in thought they are. they are in 9th grade (i'm assuming b/c you called it 'class 9th') so eh, yeah i guess people start thinking more in depth by that age. just some things suprised me and sounded more adult-ish

but stepping aside from that - WOW
you blew me away with this story. you know, we often ask ourselves, is god there? is he really here with us now? yeah you know you feel him more so in a holy place, but what about here? or there? a simple place or in a simple person? you just begin to think about all those things - and i think you created a lovely story that speaks those thoughts that we often have, whether 'we' being teens or adults. the thought crosses our mind and we see him working his magic in so many ways in so many places

anywho
marvelous work pratibha! this was a very enjoyable read ^^

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

AMEN !

YES each and every word you wrote here is truth and truth....lovely thoughts....

YES,

HE is not a hindu/christian/muslim/jain or any other religion...HE IS GOD...only GOD.....

pratibha...I can say i have read lots of poem and short stories since joining Booksie, yet none have made me cry this did.....it was to me a very heart felt tribute to what you were exspressing and you did a really great job.....When i had Samantha who was as you know very physically and mentaly handicapped my mother in law told me to put her in care, my sister said if it were hers she would put her in care, I was only 21 when i had her there was not much support around then either but God gave her to me and your story was wonderful in the fact that her sister cared....Handicapped children can bring and give so much love it is unreal...thankyou for such a wonderful story..and the tears!!! have a special day
love and wishes Juliet

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

*hugging u tight*
Can u feel the warmth buddy?
I am with you. U can trust me and count on me.

that's very good. you have so much talent.

Lydia_xxxx

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

*smiling*
thanks Lydia for believing in me. I honestly feel i should work harder on writing stories.
Ur comment encouraged me lots thanks honey

srimathi raman
(not registered user)

a very touching story.
ur narration was too good.
lovely bunch of children made the characters of your story.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you so much for taking time out for this story. Thank you Ma'am

I loved the story...sad, but it was perfect in its own way. I see God everywhere, but especially through nature. The trees and lakes and oceans are all so beautiful and I see him through their beauty. I also see God through other people. I loved this story!

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

YES ZIA, UR COMMENT DID MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE HERE AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT WE SHARE THE SAME THOUGHTS
THANK YOU SO MUCH HONEY

Irwin
(not registered user)

I work with children who have many 'Special Needs' Down's being only a part of them. Some children exhibit behaviour which shows that they have difficulty communicating with the world outide of their mind but those with Down's are often bright, chatty and certainly full of love, many go on to have successful and fulfilling lives. The language you use is coloured with colloquialisms that may seem odd to readers from other cultures and this can be distracting for the reader but we are all here to learn and no one is perfect despite their pretences. As for God: to those who believe in Him, He is real. To those who do not believe in Him, He does not exist.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

*Smiling* YES IRWIN, the language between the kids is very much Indian and so might seem bit out of track. Thanks for pointing that out...WOuld certainly be more careful next time.

THANKS A LOT FOR COMING HERE FOR ME....THANK YOU....

YES IF I BELIEVE in GOD - HE IS REAL

AND I WANT MY SON ALSO TO BELIEVE THAT GOD IS REAL - just like all of us....like my first short story "GOPU's INNOCENCE"

wham.....
(not registered user)

Com..on...
I think it is story and it is the feelings of the person who has written it.
So I think we should not pull in religion, race, cast or anything into this type of devine feelings.
Sorry to state this but I do not agree on Christianty, Hinduism, or Islam to see god. It is the feelings and the perception of seeing the reallity... we might say god.. truth of life... or bad aspects of society... or whats so ever... but it is the facts of real life...
Yes ther are some problems with the naration of the story as it is common with everybody other than professionals.. but I think before becoming professionals.... everybody starts like this....
In my view Job is really well done in this story and in the light of God we have seen some of the worst...and best feelings of individuals particularly the kids..
The worst in the eyes of the downs syndrome baby or the old lady in the story but good is with the childrens who are in the story...
I think these type of stories are eye openers for the people who do not see the real world most of the time...
Well done keep it up do not get distracted by the artificial world where life is through either Chrstianity,Hiduism or with any particular race or religion.....

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS for such a thoughtful comment.
YEAH I WOULD LOVE MY SON TO ACCEPT GOD AS GOD and never to associate HIM with any religion.
THANKS ONCE AGAIN FOR THE SUPPORT

beautiful...and I'm kind of upset at the person who commented before me *growls*, but to keep my cool and focus on this brilliant story, it is truly one of my favorite pieces written by you. inpirational and uplifting, you really outdid yourself:P
Steph(:

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

*SMILING GRATEFULLY*
the words chosen by you for this comment humbled me buddy.
Thanks Stephen
I was getting overwhelmed with the religion issue coming up and then ur comment cheered me up...THANKS HONEY.....

FOR BELIEVING AND LOVING ME and ACCEPTING ME

i really dont like it when people kill dogs. i found that part of the story really sad. and jimmy is one of my favorite names too...

anyway, this is a really powerful and moving story. great job! =)

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Jimmy's story is a true story.
When I was a kid, there was a street dog who was named Jimmy by our neighbour's son who used to feed him cashews and nice food cooked by his mom.
One morning, Jimmy was found dead with severe burns on his back due to crackers thrown at him
I could never forget Jimmy and when MA gave me this title, i got a platform to talk about Jimmy. I still cry when i think about those burns.

I am touched by your story. So often it is difficult to see God anywhere. Weighed down by the terrible thoughtlessness in the world, the atrocities, the everyday grunge. We look outside of ourselves and cry - Why?? I will be upfront and say I see God in very loose terms. Raised Catholic, I have those trappings leaving a mark on my blueprint, yet I hope to reach beyond any singular definition. I see God in very broad terms. I feel there are many varied and colorful paths to the Divine. Within and Without. Especially in the grit of our daily struggles. If we would only stop and contemplate the notion that each of us has a measure of divinity, maybe this world would be a little brighter. Yet I will admit to being a pessimist at times and maybe a tiny smidge of nihilist. And I wonder - what is this life for? Hope is my only answer. I see God there.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Absolutely loved the word "COLOURFUL PATHS TO DIVINE"......lovely thoughts.

AMEN ! YES GOD IS THERE IN UR THOUGHTS AND IN YOU....

i saw this yesterday when you posted it up. i didn't get to finish reading it until today, and i must say, you took on the challenge well. Great job!!

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

ANNE *A TIGHT HUG* buddy...thanks a lot

God is in you.
SO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. ^^

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

And in YOU too Sonny....

And in all of us in the world except in the EVIL minds...right???

*A TIGHT HUG*

I liked this story very very much. I have the attention span of the average three-year-old and it is rare that a story captivates me as quickly as yours did. From your responses to other comments, I assume parts of the story are true. What made this story so compelling for me is that all of it could be true; that these children (and to me, teenagers are still children) found such goodness within themselves.

Oh, and don't worry so much about the tenses and the grammatical hitches. Those can be fixed quickly and easily. It's the story that matters, always the story.

As to you your question, where do I see God? I see Him most clearly in the dark. Not the darkness of night, but the darkness of pain and injustice and tragedy. I believe, as many others have already stated, that He is in all things good. It's just that I see Him most clearly when I can't see anything else. He is what brings the light back.

Thank you for a beautiful story.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

SUCH A THOUGHTFUL COMMENT. I AM SURE THIS COMMENT WOULD HELP SO MANY OF US FIND GOD IN DARKNESS AND HE BRINGS LIGHT BACK....

AMEN

WHAT A LOVELY THOUGHT.
THANKS A LOT

This story is simply amazing, Pratibha. We all see GOD in many different forms. I often see GOD in all the wonderful writers and artists who grace the world with their amazing talents. I believe that GOD is in you and that he is guiding your hand. Keep writing. I hope to read more of your work.

Alek Azrael

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

ALEX your comment is so so sweet.....I am honored indeed .....

AND I DO BELIEVE THAT GOD IS IN THE INNOCENT KIDS AND TEENAGERS WHO WOULD CHANGE THE WORLD FOR GOOD....

OMG THIS IS JUST FABULOUS!!! it touched me, the only story that touched me, i had tears in my eyes when divya told her story!! Oh my golly gosh! this is extremly well done!! WOW WOW WOW!

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

*smiling affectionately*
Thanks Wandy...THANKS A TON buddy.
These incidences do happen in upper middle class sections in India. So sad....

Pratibha this is a thoughtful and beautiful piece of writing. What I like, as well as the hopeful and inspiring Christian message, is the stories within the stories touching many aspects of people's lives. (things that happen, things we know about - today often that Down's Syndrome child is "deleted" as an embryo)
I liked the vehicle of the young people in your story to spread your message, although there is maybe a little bit of irony in that because it is the generation least likely to discuss or think about God.
Alas! Well done my dear writer friend.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

*smiling*....THANKS ANNA.

I was inspired by the youngsters in Booksie. There r quite a lot here who do believe in GOD and I believe it would be because their Parents have "walked the talk"

My father and mother were GOD fearing and we used to have regular pujas etc and so i was always attracted to HIM.

BABA and MAMA used to tell me that when I have problems, I would talk to GOD and ask HIM to 'GUIDE'

I wish Kriish also accepts GOD as his friend. I NEED YOUR BLESSINGS ANNA AS ALWAYS.....

Very heart wrenching P. I think you did an excellent job of writing where emotion could flow through the reader as it did the reading itself.


Where do I see God?

It is by faith I see God in everything each and everday, in the whistle of the wind against my face, rustling through long grasses and branches of trees full of jade leaves, in the smile of a baby, the innocence of a child, the smile of a passerby, in answered prayer, even in war as he protects our soldiers defending whatever they may be defending. There is not a moment God turns his back on the world, he's there in sadness and happiness, in nature and blessings of life. And where I saw God personally today (July 10, 2008)was in the gorgeous blue eyes of a baby so angelic and happy.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

WOW.....baby's eyes, blue and gorgeous and smiling angelic face....
i can listen to u for hours without getting bored....ur comment is like a song sweety

Hellow Prat. I have always come across your goodness of heart that is reflected in your works. And when you ask, "Where did I see God today", I must say I see it in you, I see it in your story and in the innumerable readers who read it. God bless you. An excellent story.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you DONNA.
Each and Every time I read your comment, i feel so relaxed within as if a soft breeze has just touched the soul...as if i just opened the window and the bright sunshine entered my home....you r far away...i may never see u also but 'this' connection and telepathy would always be there....as if 'GOD' is encouraging me through you.

MAY GOD BLESS YOU SWEETHEART....

Pratibha, Such a beautiful and touching story. Truly heartfelt! I believe God is everywhere and in everyone that allows Him in.

He stands at the door and knock. only then will He come in when you let Him in.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks VEE, Thank you so much for coming to my home and listen to my story. I felt as if you are there right in front of me .

Amazing story! I was really touched by the story. All of us look for god, but very few of us realize that god in our heart. You become a god-send angel when you serve a fellow human or do a good deed. The demon is us also shows its claws and fangs, every time we get violent or abusive. Good work, Pratibha.

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

YES, never realised that when i get angry , it's the 'demonic' forces working strongly inside me which i have to 'oust' out....
Thanks Pearl.

This was a great story and conveys such a brilliant message. I also love your choice of characters they are all curious, kind hearted and slightly outspoken - which makes these teens sound very mythical as teens today can be very withdrawn from issues like the one you have highlightened for us today.

So...'Where did I see god today?' Well, personally I see God within ourselves, not in the sky or in statues/pictures/figurines or in places of worship. I think God is a psycological thing, as we all have our different perceptions of God. To acquire confidence or determination means believing in yourself therefore believe in the the God inside you. That's why we have religious extremists; they believe that they dying for God, but why is it that the majority of people who share the same religion as them do not see it in the same way? Well, I think it's because it's the God inside them that they have interpreted or perhaps misinterpreted, which has led to them committing their actions. So the character of a person can be judge by the way that they perceive their inner God.

So Pratibha, I saw God inside me and inside all those that I've seen today.

Keep up the great work!

Olola.

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

YES OLOLA, I AGREE WITH THE SIMPLE GOD CONCEPT THAT GOD IS INSIDE ALL OF US....no confusions and no disagreements....simple and true....

devi prasad
(not registered user)

I cant stop myself from exclaiming 'WoW' !!!
I liked every bit of it. It was quite nostalgic....reminded me how me and friends would chat for hours on our rooftop esp when the exams were over..
It is sorry that now days kids and teens dont have the opportunity to connect with their inner selves..they r flooded with media net games tv movies..........
Good story.. wish it reaches out to all those children out there
continue with such themes!

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes Devi Bhai, those were the days. I also miss my friends from childhood. Rooftop talking and innocence. Those days we did not have TVs, internet etc....and the only source of entertainment was friends and playground and rooftop talkings.....life was simple and fun...

Thanks Bhai for reminding me too....thanks

Beautiful , super , great ! It's a pleasure to my eyes to read it as much as possible.

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Jbortti,Thank you so much for taking time out for me. Thank you so much

This was so sweet Pratibha:). I loved the story-- it was sad, but to think that there are people out there like the people in your story, the characters, that do good deeds is one step into a better world:).

I see people that do good deeds as GOD. I think that my dad is GOD because he donates blood; I think that my mom is GOD because she brougth me up in the world, saved animals around here and there, and is always kind to people; I think that my brother is GOD because he makes me laugh, and not feel lonely; I think that my dog is GOD because he always tries to cheer me up when I'm sad. He's always there wagging his tail, placing himself right in front of my life; I think my friends are GOD because without them I would be lonely out in the world outside of my home; I think the teachers that have taught me, and enjoy to teach, are GOD because without them I wouldn't have come to the understanding that learning is actually really fun.

I think everyone who does something good is GOD:).

Lot's of special chocolate to you,

Ghiradelli Girl.

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

AND TEENAGERS LIKE YOU WHO ARE SENSIBLE ARE GOD. LOVELY CHOCO...LOVELY COMMENT.

That's beautiful, Pratibha. I think my absolute FAVORITE line is:
“I will wait for you forever because I know you will succeed.” She said.
It's just so, faithful. I wish someone would show that kind of greatness in my life. Thanks so much for the beauty you added to the world, Pratibha. I look forward to reading more!

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

YES, KAYLYNN, that person would surely come in ur life....MOM says good souls always deserve good souls and you also deserve somebody who loves u from soul....AMEN !

Out of the many, many comments you recieved on this, there isn't much room for a unique angle. So I've decided to be an agree-er (That probably isn't even a word...) and I agree with Olola when she says that instead of God being in certain places and objects we are all God in a manner of speaking.

Thinking about it, I suppose you COULD sum it up by with the question "Where did I see God today?" you could answer "Wherever you NEED God to be".

My own feelings on God can sort of be found in the "Eyes Opened" short story I wrote (oooo shameless plug - sorry about that!)but that would never inspire me to trash or put down other peoples take on whatever religion they choose to follow.

That went on longer than I planned - sorry about the waffle! :-)

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

WOW...."WHEREVER U NEED GOD TO BE."
SUPERB....

JAK I AM INDEED SPEECHLESS....

beautiful................ that's all i can say!!!!!!!!!!

really touching

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks KRITIKA...GOD BLESS YOU HONEY !!

You know my favorite part? How it gave a window into what life in a small Indian town would be like for young people. The stories interweaving and connecting with the friends. I'm not one to talk about my religious beliefs, they are very private to me, but I do believe that God is in everyone and everything and that even if we don't know why, everything does happen for a reason. I would have liked to have known initially more what the friends looked like and what it was like where they were sitting, but it was just lovely! ~Em

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

I WAS missing you Emily. Thanks for coming. Lol...i had word limit....I would write something in detail next time with snaps from a typical indian locality....
Thanks EMILY for coming here and leaving a fragrant comment....
thanks

this is really good i like it a lot i can tell u put a lot of yourself into it and thats always a good thing very well done as for your question where did i see God today....well i see God EVERYWHERE & IN EVERYTHING God created all and without him there would be nothing he is in our hearts our minds our souls and thou some would disagree God is even where evil dwells as God never abandons us sometimes people who are making the wrong choices in their lives will push God aside and let evil reign in there live so we tend to see evil only but in truth God is still there waiting for us to come back to our senses and ask for his help again and he will be back at our sides the moment we ask him to be there and allow him to be there I see God in my kids, granddaughter, my mom, my brother,all my family, all humans, in nature, in EVERYTHING :)

Posted: Jun 14, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh My GOD never thought about that way ever...always thought where evil resides , GOD doesnot exist...but was happily surprised to know that GOD IS INDEED EVERYWHERE.....
Thanks Deann for this new light.....

So I came back here to re-read and read all of the comments and I couldn't help noticing Alice's comment about how deep and thoughtful they were for teenagers.

It all depends on the culture, home life, and ultimately sensibility of the person. Cultures have different guidelines of how a person, not a child, should act and when someone is not a child anymore. Home life, that's the big one. If a child is raised in a split household, two parents, two houses, they are more likely to be wise beyond their age because they had no choice to grow up faster. Or, if a the oldest child in the family has to raise and tend the younger ones because the parents are never home, it's the same thing.

Some people are born more mature than others, it's something only God knows and plans. There has to be balance, maturity-immaturity.

Just something thought provoking for me. Thought you'd like to know Buddy
~Kaori

Posted: Jun 16, 2008

Author Comment:

I cannot help but stare at ur comment and read and re-read it some 5 times now ...still have no words to respond....every word emits radiance....brilliant kaori....thank you so much honey

A profoundly sad story. Well composed and moving.

Posted: Jul 12, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS TERRY....MISSED YOU SO MUCH...

This is very touching. And it really makes me think, I believe God is everywhere showing himself through different people. I always believed God showed himself to me through my grandmother since she was such an inspiring and good person. This is really good!

Posted: Aug 2, 2008

Author Comment:

AMEN...u r 100% right,....good and honest and truthful souls see GOD everywhere....And u sure are one of them.

Tears.. I believe in what you say. You've read my poem"God is within us" and it explains it all, still leaving a lots of thing unexplained.
This is the mystry of God. He's the best actor in the whole world.

Posted: Aug 6, 2008

Author Comment:

A BIG HUG FOR U BUDDY, no words ...tears in my eyes too



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