I walked through the front door. There he was, leaning against the wall looking at me peacefully. I ignored him, gave a tired look and kept walking. As much as I didn’t want to think about him I couldn’t get him out of my head after that. I thought about it all day and what he had said the night before to me was running through my head non-stop. How I was his everything and he'd never leave me then last night that despicable sentence of "it’s over but I can’t tell you why, i will always love you". Eighteen months I spent with him.
It’s the end of the day now, I’m walking home. I see him sitting in the park by himself staring into space. I ponder for a moment whether I should go and comfort hi. I decide to keep walking; he turns around and sees me walking off. The next day I get to school and don’t see him, he's obviously embarrassed about me seeing him upset, I think nothing of it.
More days go by and he still hasn’t come to school. It has now been a week when I hear an announcement over the p.a system at school. the principal takes a deep breath and says with a sniffily nose, "I’m sorry to inform everyone that Dean Thomas walker has past away in hospital 2 hours ago from his very secretive and deadly battle with a nasty brain tumour" I hear silence, followed by small whispers. I get up and almost fall over with agony. Running six blocks to the hospital, I finally find his room, he is laying on the hospital bed with his favourite three days grace t-shirt on and his ripped black skinny jeans, his hands are on his chest holding a piece of paper that says, “to Lavender <3” I slowly grab the paper and remove it from his cold hands, I open it up and start reading it.
To my dearest lavender,
Geez, where do I begin? I wished I’d never had to write this letter, or be lying here like this so lifeless. but at least I’m in my favourite out- fit right? I’m sorry for breaking up with you and saying it’s over. I’ve wanted to tell you for months about this tumour but every time I saw your beautiful face I couldn’t. I didn’t want to worry you. I thought it would be easier to break up with you then, by the time I died you would have been over me. I’m sorry I never meant to hurt you. I will always love you. I remember and cherish the first second I saw you, you were sitting outside under that big willow tree in the park, reading Romeo and Julie wrapping your fingers around your fiery red curls. From that day, the girl that had made my blood pulse through my ice cold veins. On I knew the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Please never forget me but move on and have a long and happy life.
I love you, goodbye, Dean Xo
I fold up the note and shove it down my bra. I look around and everyone’s staring as tears roll down my cheeks, I wipe my face and run, just run and run. I don’t know where I’m going until I stop at the park and see that big old willow tree. I walk over and lean against it, falling down at the same time. I place my hands on my knees and cover my head. Looking up at the leafs and see on the branch above me it says “L.S & D.W 4ever. x”
I cry and cry for hours. It’s dark by the time I stop for a second. And pull a blade from my pocket. I can’t take life any more without him, he was my only reason to live and we will be together again soon. I grip the blade tightly and rip it across my pale wrist under the willow tree where we first met; blood starts to drown the grass. As my eyes draw to a shut, I see him looking at me from above.