The music is so loud I can’t distinguish the notes. The words. Pure white noise pours into my eardrums through the buds plugged into my iPod. It’s 1:07 AM. I cannot sleep.
I don’t try to sleep anymore.
When I close my eyes, I can see his face. His smile is burned into my memory. It eats at me, so maliciously it hurts to breathe. An acidic taste claws at my throats, and my stomach drops.
I bolt up in my bed, trying to calm down. Hunger gnaws at me inside, and sweat beads along my forehead. My legs are braided with the sheet, strangled by the Walmart pattern.
I loved him. I did. My chest heaves as my heart beats faster. I thrash around and throw myself to the floor, to escape the claustrophobia within the blankets.
He never said he loved me back. I never thought he had to say it.
Why would he?
The volume of the music drops so suddenly it scares me. Pink sings softly. Please don’t leave me.
Words float into my brain, digging their claws into my mind.
I always say how I don’t need you But it’s always gonna come right back to this Please, don’t leave me.