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My poem titled "Mistake Mistaken" and this story "Sane Insane" are co-related.

Submitted:Sep 24, 2010    Reads: 259    Comments: 7    Likes: 1   

As she let me to enter into her life as a relation practically not named any, she was sobbing badly. I asked her the reason that seemed to me she never intended to tell me. She was looking mentally sick as her behaviour was hard to bear.
One fine day she was in healthy mood. I thought that an opportunity to inquire about her secret that might was the reason of her often crying. Her laughs vanished away and she looked straight into my corneas. I realized her look. She was looking her own reflection into the mirrors of my eyes. Sudden she threw a question to me for which to reply I hesitantly thought a lot. She asked me whether I love her. I came back from depths of my thoughts to the surface and replied "YES". In fact I never loved her. My sole intention in replying positive was to bring her back to the normal life; to pull her out of her tensions. My positive reply fell flat on her though tiny tears were floating in her eyes. She started sobbing again as I offered her my lap to place her head in and weep that she rejected stubbornly. I threw her own question back to her to know whether she is in love with me or not for which she replied negative. I thanked God as her reply was in my favour as I already have told you that I too never do love her. I had my aim before me to soothe her in anyway and to bring her back to a smiling life.
As I insisted her to open her heart to me. She could say nothing but I was in amazement to hear her saying:
She did not speak even a word more so we were quiet and still. I could not ask more though there was rush of questions in my mind and she could not speak more though I know she had fathomless anxieties to pour them out. We sat for a moment side by side still and silent. We decided to go home and we started walking our ways.
I could not sleep that night as my mind had dived into the ocean of thoughts. A pack of questions hovered over me and her words were hitting consistently my ears and returning to the mind like a voice return from a deep well. I did not meet her intentionally for many days but I called and text her regularly. At half past midnight I decided not to ask, for a few days, anything from her for a specific reason.
One beautiful day I arranged to meet her instead of my so busy life. It was drizzling and we sat face to face at a comfortably good place to talk. On that day I directly dared to ask her to be my friend though my sole purpose in doing so was to make her to divulge her secret to me, but she already had rejected my proposal. Anyways I managed to make her to open herself to me. The very next moment I was astonished to look at her. She had bust into tears and started vomiting all her burden out to me. Her words made my senses paralyzed and I had lost into totally a new world Ieven ever thought about. My ears drums were about to explode as her words were drumming hard into them. I did even notice when she stopped talking but I could not come out of that situation almost for half an hour. She was still crying and till then I had gone insane. She nudged me to bring meback to the normal and I stared at herhavingmixed thoughts and feelings.
She had said:
"I can never be your friend. I am a used girl. My brother used me. My brother and my cousin raped me."
Her tears knew no limit but she continued in run-on language.
"One bad day there was no one at home except me and my bro. I was feeling bored so I decided to go to sleep. In the meanwhile my brother came to me and said that he was going to the market. As he stepped out of my room I fell asleep and went to the dreams in no time. I was enjoying sleep when I felt something creeping on both of my bra cups. First I took that my clothes slipping on my body and I did not care. But the very next moment I felt a confident touch upon the tips of my bra cups and I opened my eyes absent mindedly. I was astonished and scared to see my brother and my cousin standing side by side beside the both arms of my bed. They were leaning over me. I got up and sat up on the bed. I angrily asked my brother what was that nonsense. They threatened me in different ways. Though I was frightened by their threats yet I managed to step down the bed and ran to the door but the door was locked. I implored and pleaded my brother to set me free but even my begging fell flat on him. As I was going to scream aloud they both held me tightly and covered my face with their hands. I was dam scared but I was helpless too. My cousin tied my mouth and my brother started fondling my body. They laid me down on the bed and undressed me. I tried somehow to flee away but all in vain. I kept screaming but could not shriek aloud as my mouth was tied tightly up. My brother fucked me hard, till then I had given up all attempts to run away as I knew no way out. Then my cousin came close to me and I, once again, started screaming out of fear. But he too had no mercy over me. He fucked me twice and I almost had gone senseless. I cannot describe in words my situation I was then in. They quenched their thirst, dressed themselves up and left me there crying and screaming over my lost virginity."
I was not ready to believe my ears. Since then I could not find solace anywhere even not in any place of worship of any creed or sect. I haven't slept for days after days.
Next day I called her and desired to see her brother for specific reason. Though I could not meet her brother yet she managed somehow to pass him my way at a little distance. She told me about him in gesticulation as it was already decided privately between us.
Undoubtedly she was no more a virgin and she often talked to me that she had no respect at all. "It is not your fault dear. I don't know others but I really respect you to the core of my heart. You are to me an innocent angel" In this way I tried to soothe her with such mastery but all that fell flat on her and she did not believe even in my single word. She took me as a liar in this matter though she had firm faith in me. But I did not feel fed up of saying so and I kept making her realize that I really respect her irrespective of her caste, creed, color, and fault, if any, and whatsoever.
One good morning she called me and asked me to meet her in the evening of that day. I promised to meet her, placed the receiver back and got busy in the official chores with confused mind. In the evening I reached five minutes before the appointed time at mutually agreed place. She came direct to me and sat beside me without any greetings. A few minutes later the silence was broken by her question "Will you be my boyfriend? I don't have any." A herd of thoughts dispersed in my mind like a herd of cattle in the open field without shepherd. I could not utter even a word and got up. She blocked my way and pleaded me to fuck her. My senses were paralyzed to hear her yet I managed to walk my way with laden feet. She kept calling me behind to make her hooked. I turned to her, deleted all her texts and contacts and started walking my way again. Though I felt my feet heavier than the weight of my whole body yet I kept crawling and crossed the gate. She still text me and try to call be back but since our last meeting I haven't replied any. I can do nothing for her even not good though I intended to do so in the beginning.
Though I am no more with her yet her words and my suspicions make me to feel her presence. One main question that teases me more than any other is:
"Was her story true?"


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