With an audible gasp, I stared down at the page flung upon my desk. Terrified, I shuddered, The inked lines of black and white started to blur infront of my very eyes. flashes of the past started to cloud my vision. voices and words previously uttered rang in my ears, as if they were being said currently. i felt a clutch inside my heart , i…i couldn’t breathe and then I fell down,dead!
Slowly my vision cleared and I looked around my surroundings. the smell of medicine and overwhelming stench of disinfectant reached my nose. The crinkle of the crisp sheet beneath me informed me that i was at the school sanitarium .
Then the murmur of hushed whispers reached my ears. the nurses were talking about ME!
“…Exam stress, always fainting in class, since…”
“Counseling, wouldn’t you think?”
“I think it was Vicky”
“REMEMBER THE PETERSON’S DAM??”
The words rang in my ears again and again…..Peterson’s dam,Peterson’s dam. I felt the clutch of despair and helplessness before I sunk into a dead faint, for the second time.
This time when I woke up the cheerfull face of Nurse Marian loomed over my head.
“ ’ere you wake up. Now, now you just sit up nice and slowly.” Marian’s Scottish twang sounded like musical bell’s to my ears. “hey..” i said weakly “whats the time?”
“well,if that’s the first thing ye ask. don’t woryy lovey, you just missed your exam paper. ” Nurse Marian winked at me as she helped me sit up. “I want ye to start eating, okay? Mind ye, ye must put some meat on your bones. .” I smiled wanly for the first time.i tried to get down from the bed,while Marian continued chattering.. “the pat is the past,ye have got to move on”. I rolled my eyes….behind her back of course.i slipped on my black and nylon green converse and shrugged off my slumber. “hopper along now, it’s 10:15 already”
I left the san with my mood considerably lifted, early leave does wonders! I walked through the empty hallway and past the lockers. With my backpack on my shoulder I turned towards the outside door leading to the parking lot.my mother would probably pick me up in 15 minutes. i pushed open the door and then SMACK! I walked straight into something,or rather someone. stepping back I looked up at the haunted face of Paul PETERSON.the flashbacks started.the past began to swim in front of my eyes. I began to sway againg, feeling the tug of unconsciousness summoning me. When I felt myself being led outside and told to sit on a shady wooden bench. I let myself be flung back into the past…………..
Paul Peterson. Victoria (Vicky) Gibson and (i) Willa Slavern were the exclusive three musketeers .inseparable from pre-school and best friends for ever. we laughed ,played and fought together. United as one ,for 16 years ,until THE INCIDENT. oh! The memory is painfull uncontrollably I recall. The PETERSON”S DAM INCIDENT. When Paul decided to have a barbecue at his parents mansion, by his dam it was nothing new. I mean three friends hanging out and just chillin’ on Saturday afternoon.what could happen? I can still remember.Vicky phoning me ,mad with grief and half crying .she babbled on about the stress and how she couldn’t cope anymore. i understood, Vicky’s parents are kind off hard on her especially since she’s on scholarship.
“Vicky hold on im coming”
she stopped abruptly. “im just soo tired of them” Vicky sniffled.
“I know I know just hold on im coming ”
“no .no its okay its okay. i’ll go to paul’s house”.
“hey,are you sure.i’ll come over….” I said concerned but Vicky cut me of
“it’s fine,I’ll see you at Paul’s place..bye”
“okay. See ya!”
I still had an hour left before my father was going to drop me of at paul’s house.so I decide to write Vicky a looo0ng letter of encouragement and dealing with the stress.before I knew it ,it was time to go. I reached Paul’s house. Where surprisingly ,Vicky was not there.
Paul said “hey, where’s Vicky I thought she was coming with you?”
“with me? No! she said she’ll meet me here .didn’t she come here already?”
I was beginning to get seriously worried so. i tried phoning her at home ,her mother said she already left an hour ago. I phoned Vicky’s cell number but it only rang. shucks! Where is she? Then Paul said “hey she’s probably sitting by the dam, waiting for us”. I raced down, hoping she was okay. Paul just laughed at me “she’s going to be there, relax! She’ll probably jump out and say Bo0!” however the only thing that greeted me was her drowned body ,floating atop the dam….my soul sister, my bff, Vicky had committed s-u-i-c-i-d-e.
I wrench myself back from the past and found myself still sitting on the bench with my face damp with tears. Paul silently handed me a tissue as my car pulled up just in time. saying nothing but knowing he understood I walked away and got into the car. My mother looked at my tears concernedly, but didn’t tell me anything. Wordlessly I was driven home and as soon as I entered my bedroom I went to sleep, and had terrifying nightmares..
I jumped up, gasping for air and found myself at home, in my bed….safe.i go to the bathroom and dunk my face in cold water. when will this pain stop? When will it end? I step back into my bedroom and find Paul standing by the window. he says “it’s been 2 months”. How can I reply to his still raw emotion, he’s also feeling her death. all I can do is ,just be there. I’m trying to live in the present .Vicky Is gone, she choose to end her life but I choose to live mine, through the hardship, stress and whatever else comes my way . I’ll live through it . I stand next to Paul and stare out the window. Then as the fading sun sets and the first stars come up, I reflect and I know that everything, EVERYTHING is going to be all right.