Not Enough

Reads: 177  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
the realization for a love sick girl.

Submitted: April 27, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 27, 2016

A A A

A A A


This could be an angry letter.

But in reality, what do I have to be angry over?

A lot, maybe.

But getting angry over something out of my control is useless.

Like you sort of are.

 

I don’t understand you at all.

From your head to your toes.

But then again, I do.

I feel like I don't need to say much about myself for you to truly see me for who I am.

And you don’t need to say much about yourself for me to truly see you for who you are.

Or who I thought you were.

 

You started of like a jerk.

And quite frankly, I don’t mess with people in your world.

A world based upon materialistic things.

A world succumbed in competition and darkness lurks over its walls.

Awaiting the day you’ll give into its greedy temptations and desires.

A world based upon very little morals.

A world, even I, would not dare go into.

A dark and scary one.

Where everyone is the same.

And where everyone wishes for you to conform to their devilish ways.

However, this world isn’t all bad.

It can be filled with opportunity and a future.

But it is plagued with many bad opportunities that can sometimes outweigh the good.

 

You showed me you were different.

You rose above those despicable things.

You searched and yearned for something more than what you were given or earned.

You wanted... happiness.

And peace.

And the confidence in yourself to be yourself.

 

My first impression of you was not the best.

But what you wanted was something in you that I was attracted to.

Your desires for something more than what simply is.

To change.

You wanted change.

To rebel and not conform.

I just wish you held strong to that belief.

You would've succeeded.

 

You are a coward.

I actually trusted you.

Because I believed in your potential and your abilities.

I believed in you.

So much that I fell for you.

I didn't even want to,

But I did and I felt like you fell for me.

You did but then you changed.

Even when I asked, you said that you did.

And I believed you.

All of those lies and false phrases.

All of those sweet words and kind gestures.

All of those caring actions and short glances.

I believed every single one.

And even after we mutually decided to be friends

I still believed in you.

 

Until you decided that maybe I wasn’t what you wanted.

And you found some other girl.

Who burns her tongue on her own voice and cuts her mouth with the sharp edges of dull words.

Who feels she must declare that she cares little about things going on in her life when in reality, she cares too much.

For the fact remains - if you say that you could care less, you truly do so. Why waste your breath on it to begin with?

But I might seem hypocritical.

As I have countlessly told myself that you aren’t worth my time.

But I’ve realized that you truly aren’t, but I can’t stop thinking and worrying about your well-being.

I really shouldn’t care since you care little about me anyway.

You don’t, or maybe shouldn’t care, about the times I was happy simply sitting next to you.

About the times I texted you in fear of what you would think, but then you responded.

And my best friend said, “I have never seen you smile so much ever,”

 

I hope that you don’t wake up and plague my mind any further.

I’ve had enough.

I take that last phrase back, because as I am writing this, tears are falling from my eyes.

And wetting the tops of the keys that I type so vigorously.

That’s the problem.

I haven’t had enough.

Because maybe you aren’t enough.

Maybe you are just who you have been, and I was blinded by it.

I thought that you were different and far beyond incredible.

I’m the idiot.

Because I trusted.

Because I fell.

Because I loved.

Because I cared.

Because I helped.

Because I cried.

Because I complained.

Because I dared.

Because I tried.

Because I did.

Because I am.

You are fine the way that you are.

But you aren’t enough.

So get out of my head.

And leave me alone.

Forever.

Run to her.

And hug her and hold her close.

And shower her with numerous kisses.

And give her your love and kindness that you gave me.

But don’t ever, ever come back.

Ever.

Because you aren’t enough.

You aren’t enough for me.

Even if I feel that I am enough for you.


© Copyright 2017 Hyuna. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

Booksie 2017-2018 Short Story Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by Hyuna

The Flower Girl

Short Story / Romance

Terra 10

Book / Action and Adventure

Popular Tags