where i am now:

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
the ramblings of a broken man.

Submitted: April 30, 2016

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Submitted: April 30, 2016

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Lost between reality and my own fucked up delusions I simply drift through life giving off the illusion of living. 12 hours of my day I spent comatosed in bed the other 12 I spend comatosed everywhere else. If I had the bravery to slit my wrists i’d have stumps where my hands are now present but my fear of blades and my general lack of caring has prevented this.

 

The reality of the universes limited lifespan and my impending doom before the close of this inevitable date keeps me grounded. That said I still feel the lift of death's noose around my neck following me around wherever I may be.

 

All this said my lust for the menacing release of death's cold scythe has certainly attracted some peculiar individuals. I find that those of us that fear death tend to fear what others may think of their status. This is the shackle that society has placed on us. The people that tend to flock my way have been released from this psychological prison. You haven't experienced true freedom until you're doing £300 of cocaine next to a dirty dumpster by the club where your parents tell you you were conceived.

 

Sometimes I think these characters make life worth living but then they leave me behind on this fucked up dimensional plane and I wonder why i fear my own ascension. We always tell ourselves not to fear change when it suits us but when it comes to the unknown we seem to shy away. Such a hypocrite I am. Such hypocrites we all are.

 

The act of death is seen as final by most but I see it more as a freeing of spirit. I don't know if reincarnation is real. I don't know if heaven is real. I don't know if hell is real. I do not know what experience I may have once my spirit is free of the body it has been placed in but if curiosity truly killed the cat then maybe I need a dose of curiosity chased by a bottle of raw vodka


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