the girl who had it all

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: April 30, 2016

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Submitted: April 30, 2016

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I was the girl who had it all…. Thinking back to the first day I ever laid eyes on him, it was love at first sight. The way my heart felt when I saw him, he was the most beautiful creature I have ever saw. It was like having a crush on a celebrity. You know you will never have them but you still crave them and a little bit of you just thinks “maybe one day”. It was like that years. Even when he graduated. I pined after this man and I didn’t even know his name. But then the unexpected happened! He messaged me on Facebook. I was in school, sitting in yoga class when it happened. Me? The hottest boy in the world, messaging me?! I couldn’t believe it. I thought that maybe it was a prank, maybe he was just doing it to get another girl’s information. But then it all happened. We started dating. It wasn’t like anything else I ever experienced. It was so surreal. He would show up with presents randomly for me. He took me out to nice dinners. He wanted me. We became best friends and everyday with him was a dream. I honestly felt like this is going to be my life now and I was more than OK with it. He bought a house, we got a dog. I would literally do anything for this man and I thought he felt the same way. I could picture us getting married and having wonderful children. Just being happy and enjoying each others company for the rest of our lives. Could it get any better? Then he cheated. My whole world fell to pieces. I never felt so much hurt in my entire life. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think straight, I just couldn’t understand why the love of my life, the man I thought was my soulmate would do such a thing. I never was the same after that. We tried to work it out. But I just couldn’t get past it. The knight in shining armor I once loved with my whole heart, was now just a pile of shit to me. Then like any normal heartbroken girl, I partied away my feelings. Which of course never works. Drinking heavily and getting attention from boys. That is what my life consisted of and I was pretty sure that this is what will get him back. I knew I shouldn’t love him. But I couldn’t help but think that if he saw me having such a great time, so many new friends, new boys then he would realize he should fight for me. Until the earth shattering day when I go on Facebook (social media is never good) and see he is in a relationship. How is this possible. How could someone I love with every fiber in my being love someone else. How could he get over it like that when I was still crying myself to sleep every night wondering what I did wrong. And what makes it all better is that we still have the same friends. So actually seeing your soulmate love someone else is a lot harder then seeing it on social media. But then there comes a day. You realize that you didn’t deserve that. None of it was your fault. You deserve someone that is going to love you and never inflict some horrendous pain on you that you feel like your dying. No one that truly loves you would do that. You just wake up and decide that everything is going to be alright. Sure, it might still hurt seeing them and all their happiness. But you know the dark side of this man and that helps comfort you too. Nothing has changed about him. His heart wasn’t broken when he betrayed you like this. He still the man that talks to exes inappropriately, tries and kisses your best friends. But only now, her best friends don’t tell her. He doesn’t tell her. She just sits there, giving him her all. And yea, you enjoy the fact he is still a pig but you do feel for that poor girl who one day is going to have to experience that horrible, gut wrenching feeling you did. One day, you will find a wonderful man that treats you the way you deserve. He doesn’t make you second guess his feelings, not even for second. When that love comes, theres nothing like that. You may sit there from time to time and still feel that heartbreak deep inside. But you understand you don’t deserve it. You gave him your world and he just didn’t want it. There is no need to pine after a man that never truly wanted to be yours. The pain of a heartbreak will always be there and you will always love them. But it does get better...


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