The Chronicles of Bruce Beam: The Hooker, The Watch & The Gloryhole

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic
A spontaneous new case, has a washed up detective reflecting on his own life.

Submitted: May 12, 2016

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Submitted: May 12, 2016

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The line was long that night at the local gloryhole.  Doctors, lawyers, construction workers, plumbers, bikers, married men, convicts, churchgoers, college kids and creeps from all walks of life gathered at Jig’s Saloon and stood in a line that stretched halfway around the bar, to get a twenty-five dollar blowjob in the men’s bathroom. 

Jig’s was a rundown dive on the Southside of Chicago that had been open since the fifties.  Over time, it started going to hell and people stopped showing up, but instead of spending money to fix the place up, they cut gloryholes in the bathroom stalls and let local whores work out of them.  It definitely brought in a crowd.  The beer was warm, the floors were sticky, fruit flies buzzed uncontrollably and the entire place smelled like someone vomited in an attic.  The walls were covered in half-lit neon beer signs that flickered with the little life they had left. Behind the bar a sign read “air conditioner broke,” as if the hundred degree temperature inside didn’t make that clear.  But people didn’t go to there for the inviting atmosphere, people went to Jig’s for the gloryhole.  I was no different.

It was after midnight and I had finally made it into the bathroom and to the front of the line.  There were four stalls inside, two on each side of the room with a hole cut in the dividing walls between them.  One girl worked one side of the room and another girl worked the other.  I had been waiting for over three hours and guys were taking their sweet time.When you’re in the gloryhole stall, you get five, maybe, ten minutes.  You walk in, stick your cock through a hole, and a girl in the next stall sucks it.  That’s it.  You’re not making love on your wedding night.  Clearly, some guys didn’t understand the etiquette. 

So finally, some noodle dick finished and I was up.  The stall was even filthier than usual.  Bodily fluids were strewn about, glistening from the tube lights overhead.  The floor was covered with a mixture of water and piss that had overflowed from the ice filled urinals.  I took one step in, when out of nowhere, a whore burst out of a stall, running into me, nearly knocking me on my ass.  “Watch it, you fucking cunt,” I yelled as she went out the door.  The stall door next to it flew open and a fat man wearing a tie and sweat soaked shirt, came running out with his pants around his ankles.  His flaccid cock swung in front of him.  He didn’t make it more than ten feet before he tripped and his big body collapsed onto the floor.  His face hit the dirty tile with a homerun type of thud. 

I walked past the group of guys, giving them a look to let them know I wasn’t giving up my spot in line.  Fat man looked up at me, with a small drop of blood trickling down his face.  “What the hell was that about?”  I asked. 

“That girl - she took my Rolex.”

“Who?  That whore?”

“I need to get it back,” he whimpered.I didn’t want to tell him that his watch was probably sold, spent and shot up in the whore’s arm by now, but he looked like he had some money.  So instead, I handed him my card.

“Bruce Beam.  Private Detective,” he read.  “I’m Glenn.”  He stuck his hand out for me to shake it, but given the circumstances, I passed. 

“You look like you could use a drink, Glenn.”

We went into the bar area.  I had a bourbon and Glenn had a coke.  Around the room, the crowd was thin.  The line was down to a handful of guys standing outside the bathroom.  In back, a couple hard-asses wearing leather, shot pool and stared down anyone that crossed their path.  There was a table in the corner with a group of middle-aged women whose best days were behind them.  And, then there was Mary, a sixty year old local whore with tits that sagged down to her stomach, wandering around in hopes that someone would drink enough to overlook her sagging skin and smokers cough.  We sat at the bar with the burnt out regulars that frequented daily.  They all sat a few bar stools away from each other and would say a word here and there, but for the most part just seemed happy to be in the company of people who fucked up at life as bad as they did.

I asked Glenn what the hell had happened in there.  He told me that somewhere between him putting his hand through the hole to stick his fingers in her orifices and him paying her the money, she must’ve taken the watch off his wrist.  Said by the time he realized it was gone, so was she.

“Didn’t it occur to you that flashing your Rolex in a gloryhole might not be a good idea?”

He leaned back on his stool and took a drink of his soda while he thought real hard about the question.  “Didn’t really think about it,” he shrugged.  I rolled my eyes, tossed a cigarette in my mouth and fired it up.

“Surprised it didn’t cross your mind when you were taking that off.”  I pointed at the circular indentation of a ring that poked through his front pocket.

Glenn told me his wife’s name was Gail.  They met in college and it was love at first sight.  He thought she was too good for him, but she agreed to go out with him, and he worked two jobs every summer so he could put a ring on her pretty little finger as soon as they graduated.  They couldn’t have kids because of a condition Glenn called “abnormal sperm shape.”  I figured he just had small nuts but he could call it whatever made him feel best.  She worked in a bank and he sold insurance to large companies.  They had a bunch of dogs and cats to try to fill the void of not having children.  Their dream was always to go to Paris, so for their thirtieth wedding anniversary, he was all set to take her there, but one week before they were to leave, some asshole t-boned her on her way to work.  Now, she was bed ridden and could barely speak.  But, he still planned on taking her to Paris because he was confident the technology that could help her walk again was right on the verge, when in reality, it probably won’t happen till people have flying cars. 

Glenn went on to say that the watch was a gift from his wife on their wedding day, and it held a special place deep inside him.  He was only in town on business and his flight left in the morning, but said he’d give me five hundred dollars if I could work a miracle.  He put his hand on my shoulder and looked in my eyes.  “What do you think, Bruce?  Can you help me?” 

Listening to his story made me a bit depressed about my own life.  I never married.  Thought I was in love a couple times, but in hindsight I probably wasn’t, and at my age I probably wasn’t ever gonna be.  Got engaged when I was thirty, but I only proposed because of a missed period and I thought it was the right thing to do.  After our daughter Lily was born, we split.  She took the baby and other than sending a few birthday cards, I never really did much to keep in contact.  Instead, I chose to spend my years hanging in bars, chasing women and eventually became a detective whose cases consisted of finding lost dogs and helping women catch their cheating husbands.  But, I wasn’t young anymore.  Sixty was coming quick and I had a pile of regret that could eclipse the Sears Tower.  I finished my drink.

“Wait here,” I said.

I headed to the opposite end of the bar where the bartender was chatting with Mary.  He was a scrawny guy with a patchy beard and a black shirt with the sleeves cut off, showing off his collection of misshapen tattoos.

“Those whores in the bathroom, who’s running ‘em?”  I asked.  He looked me in the eyes, taking a long drag of his cigarette while he pondered whether he was gonna answer me straight or be a tough guy.  Mary walked away.  I held my stare firm.

“Some black guy named Jewel,” he said, blowing out a cloud.

I knew Jewel.  He was a big time pimp that had girls spread throughout the city, from high end escorts who dealt with Congressmen to low end girls doling out twenty-five dollar blowjobs in bathrooms.  He definitely wasn’t the type of guy you wanted to fuck with.  Not for five hundred dollars anyways.  There was a reputation of violence that followed him and many bodies that washed up on the shores of Lake Michigan were thought to have been his work. 

The bartender told me, every morning Jewel would drop girls off and check in periodically throughout the day to pick up their money and bring them food.  “You would think they’d stay full,” he laughed.  I didn’t think it was very funny.  He said Jewel had a key to the place and would return after the bar closed to get his dick sucked and leave the bar it’s cut of the money.  I asked about the girl.  He said her name was Bambi and she was a bathroom regular.

I got another drink and walked back to Glenn.Mary had her arm around him and half of her ass was on his lap, as she tried to hustle money out of him.

“Next thing I knew, my purse was gone and I don’t have any money to get home,” she said, faking a tear.  Glenn started reaching for his wallet. 

“Beat it, Mary,” I said, startling her.

“What?  I was just talking to your friend, Bruce.  He said you were looking for one of the girls.”

“Her name’s Bambi.  You know her?” 

She shook her head, thinking hard.  “I don’t know no Bambi’s,” she said, exactly the way you’d expect a whore to say it.

“Then you can’t help us.”  I grabbed her arm and pulled her off Glenn. 

“I’ll be around,” she whispered into Glenn’s ear before she walked away.

I told Glenn what the bartender had told me.  The girl’s name was Bambi, she was a regular here, and her pimp was the baddest motherfucker in town.  I recommended that he move on and if he wanted, it’d knock him in the head a few times, free of charge, and he could tell his wife he was mugged.  He processed the information.  “I still think we can find it,” he said, giving me a hopeful grin. 

I told him I hope he’s right and he said he had to call home to make sure the nurse got his wife into bed.  Then he got up and went outside to call her.  I fired up another cigarette and as my eyes followed Glenn out the door and down the street, I saw the prettiest hooker I’d ever seen in my life, dangling herself on the corner.  She was a young blonde with eyes so blue I could see them from the bar.  She wore a tank top cut low enough to show off her perky tits, and a jean skirt that was hiked up so high you could see the whites of her ass cheeks hanging out of the bottom.  She stood there twirling her hair, smiling and waving at passing cars, with a burst of life that you don’t see in street girls.  Most hookers I knew were dead inside and so deep down a black hole of sex, drugs and misery that they were nothing more than a lifeless pile of skin with a vagina for sale.  But, I could tell she was different.

Around the room, I realized I wasn’t the only one watching her.  All eyes were glued to that bouncing ass and it was only a matter of time before someone ponied up some cash.  She was too damn pretty to leave with any of these bums, so I got up and headed to her.  

Outside, the air was warm, but the breeze cut through it, giving my skin a chance to breathe.  The moon was big and bright in the black sky.  As Blondie turned towards me, its light illuminated her as if it was put there to be her personal spotlight.

“Hi, I’m Crystal,” she said.  Her voice had a light Southern accent and she looked like she tasted of sweet fruit. 

“Detective Bruce Beam,” I said.  “My friend and I have run into a bit of a problem.  We could use your help.”

“What kind of help?”  She asked, biting her bottom lip and staring deep into me.

“I just need to ask you a few questions.  Join us for a drink.  I’ll pay you for your time.” 

The men stared as we walked through the door into the bar, and I felt a sense of pride as if she was my real girl and not some hooker I lured off the street.  Ring of Fire played on the jukebox.  I lit another smoke, put my arm around her and we made our way over to Glenn who was waiting at the bar.

“Glenn, this is Crystal.  I think she might be able to help us out with our little problem.”

Crystal sat between Glenn and I at the bar.  I ordered her a vodka-lemonade that was so strong, it made her gag.  We told her about Glenn’s watch getting stolen and it turned out that she knew Bambi, but had no clue how to find her.  She just kept shaking her head and saying, “I just can’t believe Bambi would do something like that,” as if it had never occurred to her that a woman who sucked dirty cocks for a living might not be very trustworthy.

Glenn told her the story of his wife from meeting her in college to her becoming a vegetable.  Crystal put her hand on his shoulder.  “I’m sorry that happened to your wife.  I’ve had a run of bad luck, too.” 

Crystal said she grew up in small town Georgia, and was the head cheerleader and prom queen.  After high school she moved up here to go to college, but lost her scholarship after she fell from the top of the pyramid and hurt her knee.  She couldn’t afford school anymore, so she had to drop out.  Then she found out her boyfriend back home was cheating on her and her mom married an asshole, so instead of moving back to Georgia, she decided working on the street was the best life choice.  “Other than this one guy who smelled like old cheese, I don’t mind it,” she said.

“You need to be careful,” I said.  “A girl as pretty as you, could get killed out there.” 

“I’ll be fine,” she said.  “Plus, I’m only doing it for a little while to save some money.  Next year, I’m going back to school to be a veterinarian.”  Sure you are, I thought.

Glenn looked at her with this naive smile.  “Good for you,” he said.  I rolled my eyes. 

Glenn got up to go take a piss.  Crystal looked around the bar.  “Everyone here looks so sad.  It’s like they need a hug or something.”

“I’m sure a hug from you would cheer them up,” I said, giving her a wink and she blushed a bit.  I took a fifty out of my wallet and handed it to her.  “This is for your troubles.”

“It’s been no trouble, but thank you.  Wish I could help you guys more.”

“Neither one of us got a very good look at Bambi.  Not sure I’d even recognize her if she walked through the door.  Just keep an eye out for a little while.  In case she comes back.”

Crystal decided to play some songs on the jukebox, so we walked over there and she started flipping through the machine loaded with albums from Led Zepplin, Marshall Tucker Band, Steppenwolf, Lynard Skynard, etc.  I stood behind her and leaned in close.  I smelled her neck, which just smelled like sweat and not peaches as I was expecting. 

“All these songs were made before I was even born,” she said. 

I pointed to an Aerosmith song since they were the only band in there that I thought she might’ve heard of.  “How about that one?”

“They’re ok,” she said.  “But, they remind me of my dad.”

“That a bad thing?”

“He’s an asshole.  Took off when I was seven and I haven’t seen him since.  Wouldn’t even know where to find him.  Maybe I should hire you.”  She laughed, but it was one of those awkward laughs like deep down it hurt and the laughter was there to stamp out the tears that were starting to surface.

“Well, it’s his loss,” I told her.  “He’s got a beautiful daughter.  If anyone ought to be doing the hiring, it’s him.”

She moved in close, putting her hand on my thigh.  “You’re sweet,” she said, and she slid her hand inward till it was on my cock, making it rock hard.  I closed my eyes and she whispered in my ear.  “I can take care of that for you, if you want.”

Of course, Glenn popped in at that moment.  “That bathroom’s disgusting.  Someone used the urinal to go – well, you know.” 

“Listen, Glenn, I have an idea,” I said.  “There are two pawn shops open on this side of town.  One of them is right across the street.  Crystal said she hadn’t seen Bambi tonight, and Bambi would’ve walked right past her if she went there, so I’m thinking she might’ve taken your watch to the other one.”  I could see Glenn’s eyes widen and the wheels in his brain start turning. 

“Good one, Columbo,” Crystal said, giving me a wink.

I told Glenn he should go alone since I knew the owner of the pawn shop and he’d know something was up if he saw me snooping around.  I told him all he had to do was tell them he was looking for a Rolex, but not be any less subtle than that. 

The three of us went outside and I pointed Glenn in the direction of the pawn shop.  After he disappeared into the black air, Crystal and I did the same into an alleyway.

“It’s twenty-five for a blowjob.  Fifty if you want to do it,” she said.

I pulled down my pants and without hesitating, she knelt her bare knees onto the concrete and started working on me.  It was obvious that she didn’t’ have much experience, as her teeth were hitting it and she kept blurting out how she loved my cock and how she wanted me to cum on her, like a bad porn actress would.  I tried to ignore it.  From above, the moon lit up all of the dumpsters, garbage and piss stains the alley had to offer.  It seemed closer than usual and you could see all of the craters or mountains or whatever the hell made some spots darker than others.  I couldn’t stop staring at it and I wanted it to go away. 

Crystal worked on me for a while and I wasn’t close to finishing, so I told her I’d give her the extra twenty-five.  Crystal stood and peeled off her panties, folding them into a little triangle before placing them on the pavement.  She leaned her back up against the brick wall and hiked up her skirt to reveal herself.  The moonlight reflected off of her young body and she looked at me with those big blue eyes.

“How do you want me?”

Most whores you come across have vaginas that look like roast beef sandwiches that have been dropped on the floor, but Crystal had this tightly wound rosebud, and as I stared at her, it was as if these paternal instincts had been hiding inside me and decided to introduce themselves for the first time.  She shouldn’t be on the streets, I thought.  She should be back in college or maybe working as a waitress in a diner or dating some guy who sells insurance that she’ll eventually marry and pop out a bunch of kids with.  Then, I started thinking about her deadbeat dad and cheating boyfriend and I wanted to hunt them down and strangle them both.  Then my own daughter popped into my head and I thought about what she might be doing and how instead of being a father, I was standing naked in an alley in front of a hooker who’s falling deep into an abyss of hell that she thinks is gonna end with her being a veterinarian.  I wanted to save her.

At that time, I realized that my erection had deflated.  I looked at it, and then I looked at Crystal, embarrassed, and she was staring at it.  Immediately, she looked up at me, pretending not to notice how my sad cock was hanging like a windsock without a breeze.

“Everything ok?”  She asked.

“Yeah, um – it’s fine.”  I wanted to give her some life altering lecture, but how the hell could she take me seriously with my pants around my ankles.  I pulled them up.  “We should see if Glenn’s back.”

I gave her the full fifty, anyways.  She didn’t want to take it but I insisted it wasn’t her fault.  I spent the long walk back to the bar trying to rationalize how I’d spent a hundred dollars on a hooker and hadn’t gotten off.

When we got back to the bar, Glenn was waiting alone at a table tucked into a dark corner.  A group of college kids had taken our spots at the bar.  They stood there looking around, pointing and laughing at the sideshow that was Jig’s Saloon.  We joined Glenn at his table. 

“Get your watch?” I asked.

“No,” he said, reaching into his pocket, “but I found this.”  He pulled out a fake silver necklace with a mini Eifel Tower hanging from it.  He dangled it in the red light from the neon bar sign next to us and waited for my jaw to drop.  I just sat back in my chair and told myself to go along with it and not tell him that you could find a necklace like that in any pawn shop in any city.

“Eifel Tower.  What are the chances?” I said, looking away.

Crystal told Glenn she thought it was sweet that he bought that necklace for his wife and that she always wanted to go to Paris.  Glenn told her that it wasn’t just a coincidence that he found it there, it was some sort of sign from above.

“My mom always said God works in mysterious ways,” Crystal said.

Glenn started telling her about the trip he’s going to take his wife on someday, so they can visit the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa and stand atop the Eifel Tower at night.  Crystal sat there with a dreamy smile saying, “That sounds real nice.” 

I was depressed after what had happened in the alleyway.  A few weeks earlier, I’d picked up this twenty dollar hooker on the side of the road.  We went back to her place and she worked on me for a while, but I couldn’t get it up.  At the time, I told myself it had nothing to do with age, just a victory for whiskey.  Plus, she was kind of ugly and her ass was fat and her apartment smelled like a birdcage.  But, after the Crystal incident, I was thinking it could be the start of something much bigger.  When I was young, my father came home from the doctor one day and said his cholesterol was a bit high.  The next thing you know he had a heart attack and I was sitting at his funeral.  Maybe in a year, I wouldn’t be able to get it up at all, and I’d be buying black market Viagra or be that guy sweating in the gloryhole, trying to get it up while guys are pounding on the door ‘cause I’m taking too goddamn long.  Or maybe I’d be lying at my own funeral and I couldn’t name more than a handful of people who I thought would show up.

Glenn was still talking.  I leaned in close to Crystal to smell her not-so-sweet skin again, discreetly slid my hand into my pants pocket and started touching myself.  I thought about what I wished I could have done to her in that alley, and then about being in the gloryhole earlier, and then about the cute girl at the local grocery store that’s way too young for me, but it didn’t do any good.  It just lay there like a dead dog.  I pulled my hand out and looked over at Glenn who was spouting off all these French tourist attractions that I never heard of and couldn’t pronounce anyways, and I was getting tired of listening to it.

“Hope the Eifel Tower has a big ramp,” I mumbled.  Glenn and Crystal turned their heads and I couldn’t believe I said it loud enough for them to hear.  I looked at Glenn and he tucked the necklace in his pocket and no one said a word for what felt like forever.

Eventually Crystal broke the silence.  “I’m gonna get a drink,” she said, getting up and walking to the bar.

“It was a joke,” I said to Glenn.  He nodded.  “You know, I was thinking if we don’t get your watch by morning, I can call around to some of the other pawn shops in the area and see if they have one like it.  It probably won’t be the exact same, but with the condition your wife’s in, she’ll never know the difference.” 

I was hoping that was gonna smooth things over, but Glenn turned his head and looked at me with a fire deep inside him that I didn’t know existed underneath those layers of fat.  His face was a purplish-red and a vein in his forehead pulsated.  “She’s not an idiot,” he said, holding his stare till I looked away.

“Sorry, I mentioned it,” I said. 

At the bar, one of the college guys had struck up a conversation with Crystal.  She stared at him with drunk, smitten eyes, laughing as he blurted out obnoxious, alpha male rhetoric.  At one point he yelled out “Crystal the pistol” and made a gun with his fingers, firing it around the room like a moron.  I watched them for a good while and it was obvious she was happy to have someone her own age showing her some attention.  Eventually, he put his arm around her, leaned in and gave her a kiss.  She smiled and nuzzled up next to him.  Then, one of the guy’s friends walked over, whispered in his ear and his face turned as red as the neon sign that lit up our table.  He took his arm off Crystal and cowered back to his group of friends, who were having a nice laugh at his expense.  The guy took a long drink, dramatically wiping his lips after to cleanse himself.  Crystal tried to ignore it, but it was obvious that she was hurt.  I guess she hadn’t realized that the social class she now belonged to was well beneath the one she was a part of just a couple months ago, and she was no longer welcome there.  Eventually, she walked back to our table to rejoin her own kind.

“Will you show me the bathroom?” She asked.  “I’m kinda curious.”  Glenn wanted to stay at the table and sulk, so I agreed to show Crystal.

Besides some guy getting a blowjob and moaning like a dying animal, the bathroom was empty.  I walked her to the two stalls that were open and they looked even worse than earlier.  Everything was shining from the cum splattered around.  Piss from the urinal had run over across the whole room and covered most of the floor. “The girl usually sits on the toilet in this one,” I said, pointing into the stall.  “The guy stands in this one over here, and the entire transaction takes place through that hole.”

“This isn’t so bad,” she said, walking into the hooker side, looking around like she’d never seen the inside of a bathroom stall before.  “It’s better than an alley.”  She took a seat on the toilet.  “Maybe, I’ll see you in here someday.”  She laughed.  I didn’t. 

Right then, dusty old Mary walked into the bathroom and made her way over.  Her lungs wheezed as she breathed and I could smell the smoke billowing from her pores.

“Who do we have here?”  Mary asked, standing next to me, staring at Crystal.  “You are too damn pretty to be working in this shithole.

“You think?”  Crystal asked.

“With tits like that?  You should be working with the high end clients.  The CEO’s.  The Senators.  Not washed up bums like him,” she said.

Crystal looked at me.  “He’s cute,” she said, and it felt patronizing, even though I knew she didn’t mean it that way.

Mary started telling Crystal about days long past, back when she was Crystal’s age and starting in the business.  According to Mary, blowjobs were a dollar and condoms hadn’t been invented yet.  She talked a lot and Crystal sat on the dirty toilet listening, wide-eyed and as comfortable as can be.  I’d hoped the filth of the bathroom would scare her.  But, as I looked at Crystal, the aspiring veterinarian and then looked at Mary, the strung out town whore, I could see Crystal’s future coming at her like a freight train and I didn’t want any part of it.

“That’s the grand tour,” I said, cutting Mary off.  “You should probably get back to work, Crystal.”

We exited the bathroom and walked through the bar.  The frat boys whistled and gave me the thumbs up, as we passed, and once we got to the door, Crystal turned towards me.  “I was thinking, if it helps, Jewel should be by in a little while to collect my money.  I’m sure he could get Glenn’s watch back for him.” 

“I’ll let him know,” I said.  Then, she leaned in and gave me a kiss on the lips, and at that moment, I didn’t give a shit how many cocks those lips had been around that day, it made my knees weak.  I wanted to stand there all night, kissing like young lovers, but it was over before I knew it. 

“Take care, Columbo,” she said, and she walked out the door.

I got a drink and drank it, then got another one for me and a coke for Glenn, which I took to him as a peace offering.  We didn’t say much, so I smoked some cigs and watched Crystal work her corner.  The moon seemed to shine a little less bright and not just for her anymore.  Before long, some fat guy in a pickup truck came by.  She hopped in and they drove off together.  I sat there picturing her pleasuring this pig of a man and thinking about how miserable she probably was as he lie on top of her panting away.  Or worse, maybe she was enjoying it.

“We’re not gonna find my watch, are we?”  Glenn asked.  I shook my head.  “My whole life, I did everything right.  I knew I shouldn’t have come here, but – it just seems unfair, you know?”

“To be honest, Glenn, I’ve done so much fucking up, I can’t really relate.  I probably deserve every bad thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You’re a detective.  You help people all the time.”

“Sometimes, I guess.  But, I also drink too much, blow most of my money on prostitutes and my daughter hates me.  Or, she probably does if I ever talked to her to find out.”

Glenn thought about it for a minute.  “You are pretty fucked up,” he said, giving me a smirk.

“Thanks for the support,” I laughed, and the tension seemed gone. 

“It could be worse.  I have to go home tomorrow and tell my wife that my watch was stolen by a hooker.”

“You’re gonna tell her?”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“I’m sure we can come up with a story you can tell her.  Anything’s better than that.”

“She’d know I’m lying.  She can always tell.”

I raised my glass.  “To fucking up,” I said.  Glenn toasted and I took a long burning drink of my bourbon.

Outside, a gray Cadillac pulled up and a big black guy wearing a bright blue suit got out and stood, leaning against the side of it.  It was Jewel.  I turned to Glenn.  “How bad do you want to get that watch back?”

The plan was simple.  I told him I’d do all the talking and if Jewel started getting even the least bit upset, we were out of there.  Glenn agreed and we headed outside like a cliché move tagline: Two down on their luck men with nothing left to lose. 

Jewel kept checking his gold watch and shaking his head, as if Crystal being gone fucking some fat trucker to make him a few dollars was some sort of inconvenience.  I approached with Glenn a couple steps behind. 

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a girl.  I believe she’s one of yours.”  Jewel gave me a funny look.  Probably thought we were the cops or I was her dad trying to save his runaway daughter.  “She goes by Bambi.”

He stood straight up in an intimidating stance.  “Why you asking?”

“A couple weeks ago, she gave me the best blowjob I ever had in my life.  My friend, here, is in town for the night.  Told him I’d have her take care of him, but she doesn’t seem to be working at the Jig tonight.”

He eyed us up and down, studying us for a minute.  “I can’t help you.”

“She is one of your girls, am I right?”  I asked.

“I said I can’t help you,” he belted out aggressively, taking a step towards us.  We backed up.

“Ok.  Sorry to bother you.”

I turned to leave, and I don’t know what was running through Glenn’s head, but all of a sudden, he lunged forward and grabbed Jewel by the arm.  “Please, you gotta help us,” he begged.  With one arm, Jewel pushed him away, sending Glenn stumbling backwards.  With the other arm, he reached into his pants, pulled out a forty-five and stuck it an inch from Glenn’s face.

“Who the fuck do you think you’re fucking with?”  Jewel yelled.  Glenn was an ice statue.  “Put your hand on me again, fat man.”  Jewel pressed the barrel against Glenn’s forehead. 

“Easy,” I said, in a feeble attempt to calm him down, but Jewel shot me a look and I shut my mouth.

“Maybe I should make an example out of you.  Let everyone know what happens when they fuck with me.”  Jewel cocked the pistol and Glenn turned his head away, as if getting shot in the side of the head was gonna be better.  The gun shook from the rage running through Jewel’s veins.  I took a couple steps back to avoid splatter. 

“Oh - whoa, hey now,” a voice said.  All heads turned and Crystal was running towards us waving her arms.  She approached and stood next to Jewel.

“You know these guys?”  Jewel asked.

“Um, no,” she said and she gave the puppy-dog eyes that little girls give their father when they want something.  “I just don’t want you to get in any trouble, Daddy.”  She put her hand on his extended arm and gently lowered it.

Jewel put the gun back in his pants, turned and backhanded Crystal so hard, she left her feet.  Her tiny body sailed backwards, crashing onto the concrete.  “Don’t you ever tell me what to do, whore,” he yelled.  Crystal squirmed around on the ground with her hand covering her left eye and she was crying so hard she could barely breathe.  “As for you guys, if I ever see your faces again, you’re fucking dead.”  Jewel walked over to Crystal, took money out of her purse, got in his car and left. 

I ran over to help Crystal up, but she wobbled and nearly fell on her ass as she got to her feet.  Her eye was engulfed by a purple blob and only a sliver of that beautiful blue could be seen.

“You need to get to a hospital,” I pleaded.  “I’ll take you.”

“I’m ok,” she said, jerking away from my grasp.  “You should go.  Before he comes back.” 

I hesitated to leave her but realized she was right and I grabbed Glenn who was still in shock.  His shirt was soaked in sweat but his body felt ice cold.  I’m sure the only experience he had with guns was seeing them in movies. 

“Glenn, we need to go,” I told him.  I shook him hard, snapping him out of it and I rushed him down the street.  I kept looking back at Crystal who had her head turned, trying to hide her beaten eye from the passing cars.  The further we got down the street, the less recognizable she became, and eventually she was just a black silhouette that could’ve been anyone, on any corner, in any city. 

I drove Glenn back to his hotel which was just a few miles away.  The drive was quiet and I could tell he still wasn’t right after what had happened. 

We got to the hotel, and I walked him to his room.  It was the least I could do after nearly getting his head blown off.When we got to the door, he turned to me and reached in his pocket.

“Take this.  For your troubles,” he said, handing me the Eifel Tower necklace.  “I paid two hundred dollars for it, but I don’t need it anymore.”  And as he extended his hand with that silver string hanging from it, I realized that Glenn‘s life was falling apart and if I didn’t do something about it, it would collapse.  I figured he’d tell his wife what happened and she’d divorce him and take his money.  He’d be lonely and start drinking and spending all his cash on hookers, and the worse I pictured his life becoming, the more it resembled my own.  I was tired of watching the scum take over the city, leaving it’s filth on every decent man, woman and child that wandered through.  “If somehow you come across my watch, you know where to find me.”  I knew what I had to do. 

I peeled out of the parking lot and drove to my apartment to get a few things:  a ski mask that I never wore without breaking some laws, a pair of hedge clippers, an industrial strength hand clamp that I had lying around for god-knows-what reason, and my trusty nine millimeter.

When I got back to Jig’s, Crystal was gone.  In my mind, I’d hoped she’d come to her senses.  Maybe she got in the first cab that passed and told the driver to head as far towards Georgia as he’d take her.  But, I knew it was bullshit.  Some guy had given her fifty bucks and didn’t care that her eye was swollen shut or if she cried through the whole thing. 

The front door to Jig’s was locked, so I picked it.  A few of the bar lights flickered but the rest of the place was dark and empty.  Inside the bathroom, the feet of a whore were poking out from underneath a stall, and it was obvious no one had told her they’d closed for the night.  I put my ski mask on and entered the adjoining stall. 

“What can I do for you, baby?”  She asked.

“Put your mouth up to the hole,” I said.  She pressed her face against the wall and her wide open mouth pushed through the hole.  I pulled out my gun and stuck the barrel down her throat till she gagged.  “Open your stall door.”

Inside the stall, was a middle aged woman who looked like a soccer mom that had smoked meth for five years.  She was shaking uncontrollably, probably thinking this was it, but I assured her that I wasn’t going to hurt her as long as she didn’t do anything stupid.

A few minutes later, the front door slammed shut and the sound of whistling and heavy footsteps were heading towards us.  It was Jewel.  The bathroom door swung open.

“How’d it go tonight, Starla?  You got some money for me?”  He asked.  I held the gun to her shaking head and gave her a stare that let her know not to fuck this up or her brains would be on the outside of her skull.

“Uh huh,” was all she was able to squeeze out.  Jewel entered the stall next to us.

“That’s what I like to hear.  Now show me how you earn that money.”

He stuck his big black gorilla cock through the hole.  I quietly pulled the hand clamp out of my my pocket.  Starla was having a small panic attack, with her back pressed against the corner of the booth and her eyes bulging out of their sockets.

“You think we got all night?” Jewel yelled. 

I squeezed the handle of the clamp as hard as I could, enlarging its circular head from the size of a quarter to the size of a baseball.  I carefully slid that round clamp over his cock and released.  The steel tightened, clamping down on his black beauty, filling up the head of his cock with so much blood it was about to explode.  Jewel screached and began banging on the wall with his fists, shaking the entire room.  His screams echoed around bathroom, while he tried pulling his cock back through the hole, but the clamp was too big to fit back through, and it slammed against the wall over and over again. 

“Who the fuck is in there?  You know who you’re fucking with?”  He yelled.  I motioned for Starla to leave and she couldn’t get out fast enough.  I walked over to Jewel’s booth and kicked opened the door so he could see me.  He tried to reach for his gun but it was in his pants which were around his ankles and his trapped cock left him unable to reach it.  “When I find out who you are, you’re fucking dead,” he threatened, still acting like a tough guy.  But the tough guy act didn’t last long.  Because then I pulled out the hedge clippers, and his yells changed in pitch from a tuba to a flute.

Back in the other stall, paint was chipping off the wall, as Jewel kept banging the clamp against it, trying frantically to get his cock back before I lopped it off.  The whole bathroom was shaking.  His dick was a dark purplish-black color and a large vein wrapped around it like an earthworm.  I opened the clippers and sandwiched his cock between the razor sharp blades.

“What do you want, man?  I’ll give you anything.  Just name it.”  He pleaded.

“Where’s the watch?” I asked, squeezing down hard enough to give his cock a nice firm pinch.  I could feel his entire body tremble.

I knew all along he had Glenn’s watch.  A pimp like Jewel instilled enough fear into his girls that they wouldn’t dare try to hide it from him.  As soon as Bambi ran out of Jig’s, she went straight to Jewel, who probably gave her a pat on the back,  then kicked her out to the corner to finish her shift.

“What watch?”  Jewel asked, stupidly.

I clamped down hard and the blades sunk into his dick.  Jewel screamed out like a hyena getting eaten alive by a lion.  A small spritz of blood shot out against the wall, splattering it red.  I must’ve hit a vein. 

“I’m not asking again,” I told him.

“The Cadillac.  Outside.  In the glove box,” he said, desperately.

I held the clippers for a few seconds before releasing his cock from their grasp.  The blade must’ve been blocking part of the punctured vein because after I took them off, that small spray turned into a blood geyser, hitting the walls, the ceiling and mixing into the piss covered floor.  Jewel pleaded for mercy as I packed up my things, but it didn’t do him any good.  I walked out the door, leaving him to bleed out through his cock.

His Cadillac was parked out back and in the glove box was the watch, just like he said.  I tucked it in my pocket, ran to my car, and sped out of there.  I kept getting a feeling Jewel was gonna come running out with his bloody cock in one hand and a gun blazing in the other.  I pulled around the front and Crystal was back standing on the corner, nearly unrecognizable without the burst of life I’d seen earlier.  She was falling further down that black hole.

I drove to the hotel, headed to Glenn’s room and pounded on the door.  He rumbled out a minute later and I had my hand out with his watch in it.  Glenn grabbed it and held it up, staring at it in the fluorescent hallway lights.  I could see that blind optimism return to his face.  He leaned in and hugged me, which was weird, and he offered to give me the five hundred dollars he’d promised, but I declined.  “Put it towards Paris,” I said.  After all, how could I accept money from a good-hearted, optimist like Glenn?  A guy who trusted hookers in gloryholes, found omens in pawn shops and wanted nothing more than to be with his crippled wife.  Plus, when I opened the glove box in Jewel’s car, the whole damn thing was filled with rolls of cash. 

I walked down the hotel hallway not knowing where I was going.  Either, Jewel was gonna  bleed to death in that stall tonight and I’d be wanted for murder, or someone would find him alive the next day and he’d be looking for revenge.  Either way, I wasn’t sticking around to find out.  Maybe I’d move out West by the ocean like I’d always wanted to and forget the city.  Or, I could get Crystal and drive her back to Georgia to get her life back together.  Or, maybe I’d track down my own daughter, to make things right with myself.  At that moment, I had no idea.  All I knew, was I had a pile of cash, and the possibilities of where I could go and what I could do, made my dick rock hard.  Then I walked out the doors, fired up a smoke, and the big bright moon was waiting for me.


© Copyright 2020 nicksherman9. All rights reserved.

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