Reads: 245  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A date gone bad

Submitted: May 13, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 13, 2016



And here I am, lucky to be alive!
I met this girl on Tinder just a few hours ago, she goes by the name Samantha69
So we met up at the Mc Donald at Mall of Asia, Samantha took my breath away, she was gorgeous, but something was off. Like normally I don't get girls that are that gorgeous to be so interested in me. She was very animated, friendly and nice to talk to. So we decided to go and watch a movie, but as we were walking to the cinema I had the feeling we were being followed, there was a middle aged slightly heavy woman walking 20 meter behind us pretending to be there by coincidence. First I was not sure but this one instance when I looked over my shoulder she was standing in front of Handyman looking at tools like most woman would look at shoes.
Anyway we went ahead to the cinema, Samantha was still charmingly walking with me and chatting about this and that. We took our seats, but she had to go to the toilet so she left her handbag on the seat next to me.
Now normally I would never go trough  anyone's belongings  but I had this hunch that something was going on, so I opened her hand bag to have a look at her mobile. I mean if you really want to know who somebody really is you got to just have a look at their mobile right, their Facebook conversations, the pictures they have send and received I mean its all there.
So I opened her Facebook account and went trough her last messages that's when my heart stopped. She did seem to be a collector.
Between the pictures where many many guy selfies, guys like me, good looking, charming with a nice smile. But none of the conversations did ever go past the first date.
What on earth happened on those dates?!
I looked a bit further and  noticed that none of those guys had any Facebook wall activity after their date with Samantha69. 
Then in her friend list  I recognized the middle aged slightly heavy woman that had been following us, so I opened their past conversations.
While doing all this I kept looking over my shoulder to see if she was already coming back from the toilet, this was not yet the case so I kept browsing her Facebook. 
I  came passed this group chat  called "the cleaners" that Samantha was part of.  I won't get in to detail but it pretty much looked like a group of capable angry woman that had taken it up on them selves to clean up the sexual predators of Manila.
Samanthas last message to the group was "I think I found one but I'm not quiet sure yet" that was her talking about me.
Samantha was coming back from the toilet. Quickly I did put her phone back in her bag when I noticed she actually had a small gun and a pepper spray in there as well.
She did sit down next to me and I started sweating. I felt like running but I was quiet sure that her support group would be ready for interception outside the cinema so I just had to play it cool.
I pretended to be mister perfect and left out all the dirty jokes, I kindly smiled and said nice things but I certainly was not going to try and hold hands.
Captain America appeared on the screen. It's a two and half hour movie so I had time to think things over. I had to come up with an escape plan, but honestly those ladies "the cleaners" seemed quiet professional and experienced witch I can't say of my self. 
While Captain America was gracefully beating up the bad people I realized that this could easily be the last movie I would ever see unless I would come up with something inventive and smart. I considered my options. How was I going to get away, they were waiting for me, ready to "clean" me. 
Then it hit me. "Epileptics". I had to draw attention, to get out of their alive. I was going to need all the help I could get.
I thought it over for an other 10 minutes, then all at once I did let my self fall on the ground and started screaming while going trough fake spasms.
It had to look real! So I decided to urinate, it was a matter of life and death so I had to get the whole show out. I bit my tongue and tasted my own blood before I drooled it over the shoes of the guy next to me that had just stood up and called for one of the cinema  guards.  The lights went on and the movie stopped, but I did not, I did shit my self for extra effect. The smell made people walk and climb away over chairs. I did hope that Samantha would do the same but she stayed with me pretending as if she cared. Security came, one of them did put a pencil between my tooth.
Medics arrived, they did put me on a stretcher and carried me out of there towards safety I did hope. But Samantha was still tagging along.
She was on the phone now I heard her say "Yes yes, I stay with him I won't let him get away"
They rolled me out of the cinema and to the ambulance. I kept pissing, pooing screaming and seizing as good as I could.
Then all at once I saw the medic there with an injection needle in his hand, probably to make me sleep. Off course I could not let that happen, I had to stay in control. So I kicked him in his face, the poor guy, as he fell on the ground I jumped up from the stretcher and pushed it as hard as I could towards Samantha who was still on the phone. It took her down and gave me a head start to get the hell out of there. I started running, a few seconds later I heard the ticking sound of a woman trying to run on high heels, but I never looked back, I just had to be faster, I started zigzagging between the parked cars and trough the streets. I must have ran for  20 minutes till I got where I am now, a  corner seven eleven store with 2 entrance doors. 
My heart is still pounding. I'm sitting here hiding behind the glass hot dog stand, from here I can see without being seen. I'm looking in to the street for Samantha or any other suspiciously moving female. I'm safe here but won't leave for the next 30 minutes in case they are still out there. If you read this and you are my friend then please come and pick me up from the seven eleven store  that corners Edsa and Tafft. People are looking at me in a funny way, I need a shower!


© Copyright 2018 Jeroen Elout. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Booksie 2018 Poetry Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by Jeroen Elout

Blind Silence

Book / Action and Adventure


Script / Science Fiction


Book / Romance

Popular Tags