Life of Delusion

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
A look into the mind of a young girl, wondering about the life of an older friend. She quickly realizes not everything is as it seems.

Submitted: May 16, 2016

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Submitted: May 16, 2016

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She wasn’t a quiet woman. She wasn’t a sweet grandma type. She was old, big, and loud. Terri was her name, short and to the point. She was the kind of person to tell it like it was, never one to sugar coat anything except her cereal. She never deprive herself of anything. She had self control, as much as the rest of us, but always felt she should treat herself. I always thought this was because nobody else did.

I had known her all of my life. She came to family gatherings and dinners on holidays and the summer just-because cook outs. I enjoyed her company, and she enjoyed mine. She had always been a child at heart. But, over the years, I gathered up enough information about this woman. She wasn’t my grandma and she wasn’t my aunt. She wasn’t a neighbor and she wasn’t a coworker. She was a friend and she was always there. And to this day, I still don’t know why.

See, it’s like having an elephant in the room, figuratively of course. She never mentions the fact that we aren’t her real family, and neither do we. Like I said, I have grown up with this knowledge and have learned to accept it. But, it wasn’t until the other day, after she left that someone mentioned how sad of a life she lived. I never thought of it like that. She was always so full of glee and exuded confidence. Her loud voice, affinity for drama and arts, and short black hair, always gave the illusion that she was living life the exact way she wanted.

Later that night, I couldn’t shake the idea that she may not be happy. Sixty some years on this earth, and she hasn’t been happy for most of them? I hated this. I hated to think this way and I hated that there was nothing I could do about it. Most importantly, I hated that this had never even crossed my mind. I tried to shake it from my thoughts. There was nothing I could do about it, especially not right now. I decided to sleep on it.

I closed my eyes and saw her. I saw her get out of bed and put on her robe. She leaned over to Fluffy, her cat, whom she has always treated as a princess. She went downstairs to the coffee machine. She grabbed a bright pink mug from the cabinet and put in under the coffee machine. The coffee poured as she began to make some oatmeal. Terri grabbed a can of tuna, opened it, and placed it on the table for Fluffy. She grabbed the oatmeal and coffee and sat down next to Fluffy.

She grabbed the morning paper and began to read it. She tousled her short brown hair and finished her coffee. She got up and began getting ready for the day. She put on a black sweater and with black pants. Then she went over to her jewelry box. Her eyes lit up, it was obvious this was her favorite part. She grabbed a bright pink and yellow statement necklace and placed it over her neck. Next, Terri grabbed blue and purple loud bangles, about seven of them, and placed them on her right wrist. Her white watch goes on her left. Then, she put on her white sandals as she grabbed her Loui Vuitton purse and was out the door.

She was fabulous, indeed. In fact, I always wondered why she was so alone. I often wondered if she was lonely. Never married with no kids, I bet it would get pretty boring. After she got laid off from her job in January, I didn’t know what she did. I figured she was searching for jobs or something some days. But most days I figured she would just sit at home and laze around on the couch. I know I would.

I saw her walking the streets of New York, as she had always done. She fit right in. Loud and fabulous. She strutted her way down to a coffee shop and ordered a venti non-fat, half-sweet, caramel macchiato with a double shot. That was so her. She sat down and took out her large Iphone, covered of course with a blue Coach case. I couldn’t tell what she was doing. Emailing about jobs? Texting a friend? Playing Scrabble?

Once she got up, she headed back the way she had came, presumably going home. She ran into someone who looked to be an old friend. He was tall and of average build. His blonde hair blew slightly in the wind and he was dressed in a nice gray suit. Very stylish. Of course he was Terri’s friend. She wailed, “Ah, Bobby, how’ve you been? Oh it’s been too long! Lunch sometime? Great!” I couldn’t hear what he said, and I’m sure she gave him no time to answer anyway. But he seemed to be enjoying their reunion. They waved good bye and went their separate ways yet again. I wonder how often that happens to her.

She went home again and took off her fancy black clothes. She replaced them with loose, dark gray sweatpants, and a pink tank top. She made a nice lunch for herself and sat down in front of the television. Wheel-of-Fortune was on, her favorite show ever. Fluffy sat next to her licking the tuna off Terri’s plate without her noticing. Once finished, Terri put the plate in the sink and headed off to the gym. I suspected she hadn’t been there in months, but her familiarity with the equipment and people proved me wrong.

Later on, at home, she made herself a salad with a nice steak. I was jealous. She ate and sat down with a book. She loved reading. She laid in bed with a book and Fluffy lay at the bottom of the bed. She put the book down, turned onto her side, and fell asleep almost immediately.

I woke up the next day. I’m no psychic, but what are the odds that I would have that dream? It made me feel relieved. I didn’t know if this was how she lived, but it made me feel better to think this way. She always seemed like a happy lady, but I questioned if she was hiding her real feelings. But now I didn’t have to anymore. I was content with this dream answer and that was enough for me. I ran downstairs to tell my parents about my dream and what I feel it means.

In the kitchen, my mom was sitting with her hands over her eyes, her face and neck drenched in tears. Mom never cried. Dad was on the phone, talking in a hurried, shaky voice. Something wasn’t right. “Mom what’s going on? Are you okay? Mom?” I screamed as I grabbed her arm.

“Terri died last night,” she said whaling. I had no idea she would be so upset. I was in shock. No tears. No words. I couldn’t believe it. Dad came in the room and said the funeral will be next Wednesday. His voice cracked and he took a deep breath. How did this happen? When? Why?

“Dad,” I managed, “what happened?” I said as my voice began shaking and tears rolled down my face.

“Terri decided this life wasn’t for her, last night about 9,” he told me gently as he pulled me into his arms.

 

 


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