The way you make me feel.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 18, 2016

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Submitted: May 18, 2016

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The day to day routine of getting up to go to school when you didn’t get any sleep from the night before consumes you. You were up all night trying to get up the courage to say something to anyone about what is going on deep within the black hole of your mind. You’re just tired they say. As they compare sleeping schedules and who should be more exhausted based on facts of exercise or working. They don’t realize your struggle to fall asleep and how you can’t turn your mind off to get more than five minutes of peace. You try not to think of him and how he treats you but you still want him for some insane reason that you can’t get yourself to admit. You lay there for ten, fifteen, then twenty minutes and you grab your phone to get your mind off it and checks how many likes you got on a picture when the only like that matters is his. You take medications to help with the deprivation but it doesn’t help. It just happens to be another thing added to the mile long list of things that are consuming your body. It’s now one in the morning and you think maybe if you go to sleep now you can get five hours of rest that will last you throughout the day.

Then you start going through old pictures in your gallery and scroll past a few that you have seen a hundred times. You try to be full of joy but the only happiness that shows is making your eyes water and your heart hurt. It’s three AM now as you slowly drift off but the thought of him doesn’t escape your mind. He is well within your dreams playing characters that have no meaning or ones that play a major role and there is always that girl who tries to jump in and save him and you let her because it’s meant to be. Best friends are meant to stay best friends right? The awkward pictures and the handholding when you’re scared or just fall asleep become ways that you and him once connected. He turns around in class and tells you about this girl that makes his world light up and his face smile then ever before. And you smile and nod and try to be okay but inside you are breaking. Breaking to be apart of something bigger, something stronger than you could ever imagine. But, some dreams are hard to reach and you are not ready to compete in the love games that hide within his mind. Then you go home at night and open the same picture. Where he smiles at you in the way you always wanted. Where his eyes light up like the sun and you realize that soon he will move on, get a girlfriend and live his life. And you will always be that girl who could never open her mouth to tell him how he makes her feel the way no one ever could.


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