Yesterday News Slam Poem

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Yesterday News
A slam poem about a newspaper. For more information, go to

Submitted: May 24, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 24, 2016



Yesterday News


Here is a poem about Yesterday News.

It relieves your stress, it stops the blues.

And we’ve worked real hard to give it to you.

Yesterday News is clearly the best.

If you’re trying to stop it, just give it a rest.

Let it un-bore your life, let it add some zest.


I’m not the only person in that crazy group.

If you think that I am, how low do you stoop?

You guys think I’m stupid, I won’t take that poop.

Immaturity is fun.

Although I have tried, I can't write that much stuff.

A group by myself? That's just not enough!

Don't shoot the messenger. It's just not tuff.


Half the class hates us, half the class does not.

When you read our news, your brain will rot.

So all you haters, let's see what you've got.

We have a group of fans, which is really a surprise.

With that many people, you'd guessed we had supplies.

We just steal them from the school, to their demise.


This poem really sucks, but the news is really good.

I suggest you read it. You really should.

You should show your friends, your family, and even the hood.

This poem is really cheesy, but the news? Not at all.

If you try to shut it down, expect your own downfall.

Expect to go in a small corner and curl up in a ball.


You think that you are better, you think that you're more smart.

You think you can defeat me? Be creative, for a start.

I know that you have talent, so don't just sit down and fart.

This poem is pure art.

When you want to do things, don’t be judged and just begin.

When you have a great idea, don't just throw it in the bin.

Be creative and unique, and then you'll win, win, win.

I don't know where that just went.


We always go off topic, as the last stanza described.

If you want to join are group, then I don’t need to be bribed.

So if you want to be confused, go to YouTube, hit “subscribe”.

I just went off topic right there, yet again.

Sean Solo is the father of young Kylo Ren

Is it even possible to have a father hen?


We always confirm Illuminati.

Kool Gramar Skool are grammar nazis.

I even almost beat Chuck Norris a Yahtzee.

I procrastinate, I leave you waitin’.

You get jealous, then start hatin’.

See you soon, sincerely, Satan.


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