Trying

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: 'The Odd Ones'
Because I really don't think people in my real life appreciate how much I WANT to get better.

Submitted: May 26, 2016

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Submitted: May 26, 2016

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'I'm trying.'

The two words that I've never wanted to say more in my life.

Whenever my brother grills me about 'getting some sleep', I want to tell him that I'm trying.

Whenever my sister tells me to 'smile', I want to scream at her "I'M BLOODY TRYING!"

Whenever my mum tells me not to worry so much, I cry silently after she leaves.

Because I'm TRYING.

I'm trying so hard, more than I ever have about anything. 

People assume that I've given up, but if I'd've truely given up on life, I'd be dead. Or at least, not working and talking and laughing and trying, just trying.

The more you tell me that I'm still not there, the more discouraged I get.

Telling me to suddenly 'fix' my illness with an extra hour of sleep, or a single, faked smile, or not brushing my teeth three times for once, it's just...

I hate the fact that I have to try, but if you want me to be alive, I HAVE to. 

Trying's the only way to keep myself alive.


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