Absentee Life

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Interstate Freedom"

Submitted: June 01, 2016

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Submitted: June 01, 2016

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Absentee Life

-

Too much murder on my mind

Wanting to kill ev'ryday of my life

How can I stop my emotions of such?

My heart's lack of love spoils my appetite for lunch

But with my stomach already expanding

Due to a slowing down metabolism

I can hardly give a flying fuck

My demon spawned body of a life form

Seems to be deader than a dried up storm

And I cannot hold back thee anger

Resentments run strong in my family

Somewhere along the line of my family tree

I have abominated both side' flesh and blood

Just by being born

No, I won't shut the door to the barn

I will leave it flung open

For all to see the dead men hanging

By ropes on trees in the back yard

And my hideous rage will have served it's purpose

And my life will dwindle

Into the darkness, I shall flourish

Not knowing a better way

To fix how fucked up

That I think things are

No, I won't drive a car

Nothing in my budget allows me to drive

I slave myself to the side of the street

Where everybody pisses me off

By passing me up

And cutting me off

My next girlfriend has to have a bike

Instead of a car

Because I can't date a woman

And sit in her passenger seat

At the same time.

My ego won't let me be that boyfriend

Who is not the one behind the wheel

My next girl friend has to not be

A typical normie

But she can't be crazy

I know those two things contradict each other

So I have to break it down

Into a complication

I have to have a girlfriend

That is not working for a living

But is not because she's bat shit crazy

She can't be crippled in a wheel chair

Because I don't want some one I'd have

To take care of like that

And to the world

That probably comes off as me being selfish

But if women have a right to exclude me

I have a right to exclude too

Anybody's baggage, I won't put up with

I can't deal with anybody else's problems

I shouldn't have to

But according to my standards

My expectations are too high

Making me lose my mind

Hating the world around me

Because the perfect woman for me

Just does not exist

And until she shows up from being missing

I will remain very pissed off, lacking meaning

I know I can't be reasoned with

I get tired of being left in a ditch

Wandering around less magnified

And highly overstrung

And not knowing why

The disappearance of understanding

And remembering

Holds me back from progress

Patently, I wait for nothing to happen

Patently, I wait for no change, at all

And when the sky is glowing blood red

It's thee only comfort when the sun is out

Lost in a world

Away from her

While she's somewhere else

Out of possible reach

I could swear at ev'ry sunset

That she's in another world

And I cannot transport myself to her

And she cannot transport herself to me

Maybe it's a separate plane

A parallel universe

And that's what really hurts

And nothing can stop the pain

That feeling never changes

Never goes away

Because that is the reality

Of loving somebody

That doesn't even exist

So I put my love-life on hold

Hating ev'ry one else

Who doesn't have this problem

Jealous of all these perfect model citizens

That surround me all around

Bringing me down

Laughing at me like I'm a clown

Forcing me to want them dead

How can it not go to my head?

"Letting go" is thee answer

But right now it's impossible to do

Not when this is my whole life

-

05-30-'16

D. L. Cannon


© Copyright 2017 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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