Hetero

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 03, 2016

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Submitted: June 03, 2016

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 Hetero, by Irishgirl2020

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“ Parents need to know that the 2016 book, Hetero by Maya Weeks, is an introspective coming of age story, about a boy and a girl growing up, it brings up questions of identity particularly in terms of sexuality and sexual orientation, amazing!”

  • Karime Ramirez Author of Metanoia

“ Character development is outstanding, beautiful way of addressing the world's issues. I would recommend this to everyone!”

  • Sidney Stevens Author of Have You Locked the Door?

 

Prologue

We live in a world where the norm is to be straight, heterosexual. But what if it wasn’t? What if it was the opposite, where the norm is to be gay? Everything we believed in was to complete opposite; would life be different? This story follows the life of a girl named Rowan, a young girl living as a Hetero in a Homo world.

 

Warning: Content may be extremely disturbing to some readers, no offence is meant.

 

Chapter 1

I stare at the mirror, in my bathroom, as I’m washing my face and then my hands. I still feel dirty and disgusting. I get in the shower and use the scrub; I feel nasty. Why am I different? I can’t tell anyone how I feel, no I can’t tell a soul. I scrub so hard that my caramel skin turned bright pink. I can’t scrub so hard that it makes me bleed, because then people might ask question. I have a perfectly normal family, but everything about me is different and strange.

 

“Rowan, get out of the shower, dinner is ready!” Dad calls. I quickly get out of the shower. I wrap my hair up; I hate my hair. People always tell me I have beautiful hair, but I don’t see beauty in the thick mop of brown hair. You see I am beautiful, but not so beautiful that everyone stares at me, and not so ugly that everyone stares at me. I prefer it that way though. I hate standing out, and if people find out that I’m…

I’m…

Well, that I’m… I can’t even bring myself to say it.

That I’m a hetero, I will surely stand out and everyone will stare and talk about me.

I get dressed again, and head down stairs. Each seat is filled except for mine. My dads at the heads of the table, on the left side sat my older sister Kelly and her girlfriend Baylee. Then on the right is my best friend Lane, who comes over every afternoon and stays late in the night, so Papa has just started setting a place for her, and my empty seat.

“Finally, you sure do take your time getting ready, it seems like you’re acting like a guy,” Papa jokes bringing out a soft chuckle from everyone, but he doesn’t know what’s in my head everytime I see him. Life would be so much easier if I were, or if they could understand.

“Are you ready for football tryouts?” Dad asks all of us. There are a small whispers of different ways to say yes. Should I tell him I don’t want to join the team, that I’m not interested in it, should I take that chance?

“Dad, I think I want to join cheerleading?” I blurt out quickly, so that I don’t have a chance to take it back. Dead silence overcomes the dining room, I feel the eyes staring back at me, as I continue eating, not taking my eyes off of my plate.

“I love dance and cheerleading reminds me of dance, it is kinda like dance right, I just want to try it, you know…” I continue to ramble on and they keep staring at me. Their eyes burning my soul, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I look up,” I was just joking, see what you guys would do, but I don’t think I want to do football though, I want to focus on my dancing.”

A sigh of relief escapes Lane,” Dude, you scared the living poop outta me.”

“Honey, it’s fine to not do football, I will support you in that, we all will, but cheerleading is way different!” Dad exclaims.

“Jeez, dad I know, it was a joke. Seems like only Lane can take a joke.” I mumble.

“Rowan, you need to look up the definition of joke, because that was not funny,” Phenix, my sisters girlfriend, says. I brush it off and continue to eat. I finish before everyone and ask to be excused. I take my dish to the sink.

“Oh, Rowan, I almost forgot, Jamie is coming over tomorrow,” Papa shouts from the other room. I let out a groan,” I told you, I don’t like her, I know that we live in a rich neighborhood but she acts like she is way better than everyone else.”

“Just give her one more chance she likes you!” Dad giggles.

“Whatever,” I shout as I head up the stairs to my bedroom. I turn on my radio, and then turn the volume up to the max so no one can hear me cry. Girls aren’t supposed to cry, we’re supposed to be the tough ones with little emotion. It’s not Jamie herself that I don’t like, it’s Jesse that I love. He is going to be the death of me, why am I not normal?

I hear a knock on the door, although I don’t give them permission to come in they come in anyways.”Rowan?” Baylee asks,” Are you okay? I know it may seem impossibly difficult to find who you will marry, but I assure you someday, like I have, you will.”

I know Baylee is just trying to assure me but it doesn’t work. I will never be like her, I will never be able to feel that way.

Safe.

Happy.

Loved.

“Thanks, Bay, that really helped,” I lie,” I have been scared about finding that something that I see you and Kelly have. I just want something like that, I’m going to bed, I’m exhausted.” I just want her to go away; she is always there, always around.

“Oh, of course, I will go, see you tomorrow,” Baylee says exiting the room.

And just as I had said, the emotional exhaustion overtook me and I fell asleep.

 

Chapter 2

I wake up around 5, it’s Saturday morning and the early morning sun causes the dew on the grass sparkle. I decide to go for a walk, so I get dressed and write a note saying where I have gone in case someone wakes as I’m gone.

As I walk outside the cold of the morning stings as I take a deep breathe in. After I grow used to it, the smell is unmistakingly beautiful right along with the sight. There is a soft mist that lies on the ground. I stop and look at the forest that I’m about to head into. I know that about a half a mile up the trail lies a beautiful meadow filled with flowers of all sorts and colors, and I can’t wait to see how it looks on a beautiful morning like this.

I head up the trail and am in awe at the magnificence of the trees at their height. Girls, females, women aren’t supposed to think like this. We are supposed to think about cutting them down, improving our economy, certainly not their immense beauty. I continue on down the path and finally get to the meadow.

Just as I had assumed the meadow looks simply marvelous. I start running and laughing, but just as soon as I had started I fall. The landing tough does not hurt, because it’s cushioned. Instead of getting back up, stay down. I continue to laugh as I lay there. A sense of peace washes over me, and it is like an old friend that I have not seen in awhile. I close my eyes and let it wash over me.

“Hey, I know you.” I sit up very quickly at the sound of the voice, but I sit up so quickly that my head hits the source. I’m knocked back down.

“I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to,” I say rubbing my head. I stand up to offer my hand to the boy whose head I hit. Only then do realize just whose head I have hit.

“Jesse.” I say in shock. He opens his big brown eyes, and gives a smirk.

“Hello, umm, Ragen right?” he asks.

“It’s Rowan, what are you doing here?” I ask.

“My house is right over there, and I come here all of the time, now are you going to give me a hand up, or will I have to get up myself?”

“Oh I’m sorry, that was not a very ladylike thing to do,” I say as he takes my hand. I feel his hand fitting perfectly into mine. I have always pictured a moment like this, but it was in a different world, one of which, where he shared the same feeling. I am so caught up in the moment that I didn’t realize how hard I had just pulled until I fell back and he fell on top of me.

“Well, hello,” he laughs. His eyes sparkle when he laughs. No, Rowan you can’t think like this. To avoid further complications I push him off of me.” That was nice,” he chuckles.

I sit up and look at him, and he looks at me. We sit there in complete silence just looking at eachother for what seems like forever. It reminds me of the newest version of Romeo and Cadmael, when he finally shook his head and looks away again with that smirk on his face.

“So I heard that you’re with Jamie,” he frowns. Wait! He frowned, what in hades does that mean? Why would he frown? I’m probably just seeing what I hope to see.

“Well, not really, I don’t like her, I like someone else…” I say. I feel like I can trust him.

But can I trust him enough with my secret?

“I totally understand my moms are trying to get me together with Blake. I don’t like him either, in fact I can’t like stand him. He is too guy crazy! When we are hanging out that's

the only thing he talks about.”

“God! I know, Jamie only talks about all the new stuff she gets! It’s like, excuse me female dog, I don’t care what you got, that's talk about things that matter.”

“You know, it might seem self absorbed, but I want someone that is like me,” he chuckles.

“I couldn’t agree more,” I can tell he takes it as me wanting someone that is like myself, but I meant I want someone like him. I don’t dare to clarify.

We talked about everything; everything except for that.”Yo, Jesse, so you know what time it is.”

“Umm, lets see,” he pulls out his phone,” 5 till 7. Hey, I just realized I don’t have your number. I should get that.”

“Oh, sure it’s…” I tell him my number,” I should probably get going”

“How about I walk you back, I’m not sure that I want to come back quite yet.”

“Okay that will work,” I say. We start heading back, he stops.” What are you doing? We aren’t even close,” I laugh.l

“I am going to do something crazy,” he says staring at the ground.

“What the fu…” I’m cut off mid-sentence when Jesse looks up grabs my waist and pulls me into a deep kiss. I kiss him back deep and hard, just as I’ve imagined. When I finally pull back for air I smile,” Well, that was different.”

“So, you are, too. I thought I was the only one. I’m going to, umm, go. I will, umm, text you. Yeah, that's what I’ll text you,” he nods and then runs off, back toward the meadow. Officially the best day EVER!

 

Chapter 3

“Hello Rowan, I’ve been waiting forever,” Jamie says. I walked into my house at 7:15 in the morning. Why the hades is she here and how in hades did she get in.

“Hello, Jamie, oh and you're hugging me, okay. Jamie to be honest I don’t really like you, my Dad told me to give you a chance.”

“Oh, yeah, I never liked you either, you're not in my social range. I’m up here and you’re, well, all the way down there, where I can barely even see you. But your sister on the other hand…”

“Dude, she is so taken, she's been that way for 4 years. She is also a Senior and you’re,  wait, all the way down there, so low that she can’t even see you.” I mockingly said.

She gets up, and I open the door. I throw my hand out showing her the way out. She gets up and starts to head out when she stops in the doorway. She looks at me with a hardcore glare.”Just so you are clear, you do know who I am, Rowan Jacobs?” she asks.

“Woah, should I be honored or humiliated that you actually knew my name. Now bye-bye.”

“Are you kicking me out, I will freaking ruin you life!”

“Yeah, Hokay, have a crappy day now, and bye-bye,” and with that I shut the door in that little turds face. Nothing is getting me down, or so I thought. I received a text from the schools biggest waste of oxygen, Terri Hastings.

 

What's up hetero

I don't think I know what ur talking about

Oh, but U do

How did you even get my number, and what do you want

I know you kissed my brother, you forced him to, you dirty little hetero

 

How did she know? I forgot he was related to him; how can so one so rotten be related to someone so perfect.

 

You dirty little fool, you need to keep the hades away from my little brother

I don't know what your talking about, I don’t even know you had a brother

Try the boy that was in the meadow, Jesse, the one that you forced to kiss you

 

At this point, I’m in tears. She followed me, him, us, oh my lordy I don’t understand. How could this have happened? I thought we were alone and okay.

Then, as I thought things couldn’t get any worse I receive another text, from the devil's brother.

 

Hey, it’s Jess

Hiii

So if we are going to meet up, we need to do it in private

Well yeah I thought so too, it's too risky to come out

Yeah

Did u tell ur sister

Umm nope, have u met her

Screen shot sent

OMG this can’t be happening

No worries, it’s all me

I am soo sorry, I will fix it right now!!

Okay :)

When are you available?

ANytime for you, give me a time and I will be there

2MRO @ 5 a.m

Deal, I will be there, can’t wait!

 

Everything seems to be going good. Tomorrow will be great and maybe it has taken a turn for the better.

Later that evening at dinner, my daydreaming was interrupted by Dad bringing me back to Earth,”did you see the protest going on in D.C about legalising heterosexual marriages. It’s hysterical.”

“It makes me so mad, these people aren’t even people. God created Adam and Zeus and then Eve and Hera, not Adam and Eve and Zeus and Hera,” Papa says cruely, if only he knew; no he can’t know he would resent me.

“Don’t you think that’s a little harsh, Papa, I mean they just want to be happy, and if the opposite sex makes them happy, don’t you think the deserve that?”

“Everyone deserves to be happy, why can’t they be happy with their same sex, like a normal person. The men, I don’t see how it’s possible, for them to even be appealed to a women.”

“Well, I don’t know…” mid-sentence I was interrupted.

“If you are about to defend these disgusting people save it, any excuses for their immoral choices, they are nasty disgraces to a use of a body that god gave them.”

“I need to leave,” I say standing up quickly and running. In the distance I hear them talking amongst themselves.

“What is her issue,” Kelly says.

“Do you think…” Dad questions.

“No way, she's not a filthy piece of crap that deprives our world for all that we morally stand for,” Papa confirms, except for he’s wrong. I love a man. I am the filthy piece of crap. I am a hetero, a disgrace to the world, god, and my family.

 

I need to meet you right now

Is everything okay?

No :(

Okay be there in 10?

Just be there as fast as U can, and thx

 

Chapter 4

 

I run into the meadow and he is already there standing in the middle. His face filled with worry,”What is it? Are you hurt?” No, not physically. My brain is about to explode. I feel it pressing against my skull, throbbing, and pain. Overwhelming pain, unreal pain. I run to him and crash into his open arms. I start to bawl.

“They don’t understand. They don’t show compassion,” I cry.

“Who doesn’t?”

“Everyone, the government, my family, the whole world. Why can’t they accept how people are, as long as they're happy?”

Instead of answering, he picked my head up and kissed me; a long hard kiss, but it was interrupted.

“Get off of my little brother you little Hetero!” Terri screams, as she comes out of the woods. I stand shocked. As I turn to Jesse, he takes a step away from me. What is he doing? I turn my attention back to Terri, who is no longer alone. A large group of girls, her minions, were behind her. In that group, I see multiple familiar faces, Lane, Kelly, Jamie, and Baylee.

“I told you she is a hetero, a nasty human being. And worst of all, she is forcing my little brother to kiss her, isn’t that right Jesse?”

“Yeah, what the hades Rowan, you told me you were hurt and to meet you. I thought you were in serious trouble, and then you just kiss me. I am not like you, nothing like you. You are disgusting, get away from me you, you fag!” Jesse, screams at me, I start to break down. How can he do this to me? He was the one to kiss me. I have no words to respond, have no strength to walk, no reason to live, no hope to have, and absolutely no one's shoulder to cry on.

“Let's go you guys,” Terri says, everyone follows her back into the woods except for Lane.

Lane stands there staring at me with tears in her eyes. For a second I thought I may be wrong, there may be someone there for me, but then once again my hope is shattered.

“I can’t believe how nasty you are, Rowan. Don’t even think about talking to me, let alone talking to me. You have no one left to blame but yourself,” she says crying, she shakes her head and walks off, leaving me alone.

 

Chapter 5

I returned home that night, and in front of my house my Dad and Papa are scrubbing off the words “Dirty Heterosexual”. I stand there shocked, horrified. Papa turns towards me,” Did you cause this? How could you? Do you know what you are going to put us through?” he yells at me,”I can’t even look at you.”

This was the the nicest of treatment I have received. At school I have no friends and am constantly getting rude notes and threats. Jesse is now dating Josh and the even have a couple name of JJ. He is not afraid to show his affection for him. People tell me that I am thoughtless and could’ve ruined his life, but instead he ruined mine. Protest have stopped and there is no hope for people like me. I sometimes doubt that there is anyone like me; that I have been left 100% alone. My parents haven’t barely talked to me, and they only look at me in shame. I have no one left.

Today, my sister came into my room, and I am shocked because I haven’t seen her all week.

“Stop moping around,” she says. By the tone in her voice I can tell it’s she isn’t her to comfort me,” YOU did this to yourself. You forced this poor boy to kiss you. That could be considered rape, no worse because you did it with a MALE! And what is worse is that your only think about yourself; Oh, poor Rowan, everyone has left her. Have you ever wondered what it has been like for me?”

I don’t respond; I can’t make a sound.

“Well, let me fill you in Baylee left me, and I am a social outcast all because my nasty excuse for a sister is a hetero. How about that, Rowan, you not only ruined your life, you ruined mine, too.”

I finally find words,” Why did you come in here Kelly?”

“Why did I come in here, WHY DID I COME IN HERE? I will tell you why I came in here. I came in here to tell you what a waste of God's time you are. I came in here to tell you how much I hate you, and how much better everyone's life would be if you,” Kelly pauses for a second as she walks to the door. Her hand is on the knob as she finishes her sentence. I’m hurting, beyond anything I have ever felt before,” if you were dead,” she says as she uses all of her might to slam the door.

I feel a stab in my gut. If I were dead. I scream and cry, I can’t stop. I open my door and run into the bathroom. Underneath the sink I find a bottle of bleach; I chug it. It burns my mouth and then throat and then my stomach. It’s not enough pain; I deserve more pain. I look at my reflection; the reflection of a horrid human being, one who most certainly deserves to die. I feel light headed, but I use the strength I have left to punch the mirror. That was the last of my energy, and I collapse to the ground. The pain from the bleach is faint, but still present; it’s so faint that I deserve to feel more. I pick up a broken piece of the mirror and slide it along my wrist, I scream from the pain. I lie down on the floor; the cold marble pressed against my stomach. I can see the blood that is covering the floor; it stands out against the white marble. I feel calmer now, and I feel no pain. I am numb. I hear footsteps running up the stairs,”Rowan!” There is a banging on the door,” Open the door, Rowan right now!” Dad screams, but I can’t, I can’t move, I am too weak. I hear something smash and the crack of wood.

Soon, I see Papa and Dads face by mine. “Kelly call the 911, get them here now,” Papa yells, his voice cracks, I can hear him crying.

“Oh, my girl,” Dad says crying as he strokes my hair,”my, baby girl, what have you done!”

I use all the strength that I have to push these last words out,” I love you.”

“NO, NO, NO, NO, don’t you dare give up. You stay alive, do you hear me,” Papa screams.

I take my last breath, and then, in my head I say goodbye.


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