Self-Destruction

Poem by: MHBreg

Reads: 1167 | Likes: 1 | Shelves: 2 | Comments: 3

I struggle with depression and this is just a poem I wrote one day to express my feelings.
Also DRAWINGS ARE NOT MINE
Credit: Blue hair by Gretlusky.deviant... on @DeviantArt ? || CHARACTER DESIGN REFERENCES™ (www.facebook.com/... & www.pinterest.com...)

I don’t quite understand the way they look at me

Hate that’s unclear

And ever blind.

I don’t understand when their thoughts became my own,

A world of lies that I honed.

I believed every word,

Every insult,

Every

Little

Thing.

When they told me I was ugly

I tried to fit in.

I wore eyeliner and makeup and mascara too

But it all felt like a mask,

A persona I couldn’t see through.

When they told me I was too skinny

I tried to eat more

But how can I eat

When crap is all I see?

I tried to dress better,

Skirts, dresses and heels

When all I wanted

Was a hoodie to wear.

But I broke my ankles,

My back,

Shoulders too

Until eventually my skin became see-through.

I could see to my bones,

The way they shook when I walked

Each creak they made,

Just more breaking of my heart.

I could see winter,

My head now a season

The leaves of brilliance now dull and gray

Fading with every footstep of the way.

When I looked in the mirror I couldn’t see me,

But just a sad reflection of who I used to be.

The weird thing is,

It no longer hurts

When you accept the lies

You loathed the most.

Submitted: June 05, 2016

Romance depression society people

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Comments

Kingsparky99

the truth in this piece is all too true. thank you for sharing. may your life be long and full of love from those who truly care for that is the best we can ask.

Sun, June 5th, 2016 5:24am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! You too!

Sun, June 5th, 2016 8:47am

hullabaloo22

Fantastic! Wanting to disappear in clothes that you can hide in -- that is so me. And mirrors are my enemy. I have had years of depression, anorexia, bulimia. You seem to be expressing the same sort of thing so well.

Sun, June 5th, 2016 9:51am

Author
Reply

Thank you! Keep fighting!

Sun, June 5th, 2016 8:47am

Dustinap13

Wow. Very powerful poem and so true. There have been a lot of negative people in my life that I have had to recently shut out of my life because they were always bringing me down. I would be happy as could be and they would bring me right down with one little insult. Sad thing was is that the were family. Great job with the poem!

Fri, July 1st, 2016 4:11pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! I hope you maintain the positive people in your life! I understand how hard it is to find people that are willing to be on your side. Keep fighting!

Fri, July 1st, 2016 2:59pm