I will not be sad. I will not give in. I will not give up.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 07, 2016

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Submitted: June 07, 2016

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I will not be sad. I will not give in. I will not give up.

This had been my motto since I was a little girl. Most days it was hard to remember this motto. Some days it was nearly impossible. Never was it easy.

My day started like everyone else’s, by waking up. Except, that was all that I seemed to have in common with the people outside my village. I suppose most people got to put on clean clothes, I never changed. Some would shower or get a cup of water, I couldn’t. I would have to walk miles to get to a river for water. A river that was shared with animals of all kinds and was used for drinking water and baths. I always knew the water wasn’t healthy. I knew it wasn’t clean, but all I had to do was remember my motto, I will not be sad, I will not give in, I will not give up.

One day I decided that I wouldn’t just give in to life’s problems. I couldn’t continue to just accept what life gave me. I ran back to tell my mother how I was going to find us a better place to live but something was terribly wrong when I got back. No one was around the village. I could tell something happened and ran to find my family. I entered our torn down hut to find my brother and sisters huddling in the corner. My mother was lying on the floor, bleeding.

Some animal must have ran into our village and torn it apart. I couldn’t leave now. How could I just leave her? I knew that I had to take care of my family now. I sent my little sister to go get more water and tended to my mother’s wounds. I felt terrible and started to cry. I just wanted it all to be over. I will not be sad. I will not give in. I will not give up.

I couldn’t get it out of my head. I will not be sad. I will not give in. I will not give up. I wanted to, I needed to. But then my mother woke up. She looked up at me and I turned away so she wouldn’t see I was crying. I knew if she saw then she would start crying and I can’t stand it when she cries. She tries to sit up but she can’t. I tell her to stay put and explain where my sister is. She looks up at me, “My little girl, I admire your strength, your power, I admire your optimism.” There was no way I could give up now. I knew I had to keep going, for her. When my sister comes back we quickly get my mom some water and wash her wounds. They all fell asleep afterwards.

I still wonder what happened in the village that day. What animal could have wreaked such havoc on my family and friends. But for now all I can do is wonder, there is no way I could ask my siblings.

The next morning my mother had gotten terribly worse. She slept most of the day. At first I thought she was just tired but when I checked her wounds they had gotten infected. I kept my siblings from seeing her wounds but I could tell they still knew. It wasn’t long after this she passed away.

I now had the responsibility of my family. I would have to do almost everything and it seemed my life was just getting worse. I will not be sad. I will not give in. I will not give up. My motto seemed to be getting harder, and harder, and harder. I knew we could not stay in our village. A terrible drought was beginning and many things were dying.

I packed up my siblings and we went on our way three days after burying my mother. It was hard how often my siblings would fall on the rough terrain. For days we walked on trying to find a cleaner place to live. Often we would follow the river but some days we would stray and find our way back.

I knew we would have to find a place soon or my siblings would fall ill. They were worn out but sadly I could not do anything to help. After a week my nightmares came true. My little brother fell ill without a warning. He could barely walk and I would have to carry him often. I could tell one of my sisters was also wearing down but I knew I could not carry them both.

One day we finally found another village. It was strange and noisy, and much bigger than ours. I knocked on doors hoping to find someone who would let us rest for the night but no one wanted to accept four children who were dirty and could spread disease. Finally I was ready to give up. I will not be sad. I will not give in. I will not give up.

I couldn’t give up on my siblings. I couldn’t let them give up on me. I tried one more house and surprisingly they welcomed us. The wife made warm soup for us all, and had her husband go to the store and get medicine for my brother. With their help he got well. When he was healthy I prepared to leave but they refused.

We never left that house. I feel my siblings don’t even remember the life we used to have but I couldn’t forget. When I was older I went back to our little village. I visited our mother’s grave and told her of our new life. I later cleaned up that river that we lived off of so many years ago. No one found out but I didn’t care.

I knew that one day someone would happen upon that little village, they would find our run down hut, they might even find that little river, but they will never find the story of my family and all the heartache we had to face.


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