All I want

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I really hope you like it. This story is based on the song all i want by kodaline

Submitted: June 09, 2016

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Submitted: June 09, 2016

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I didn’t want anything but you, and I ended up getting you. I loved when you would show up at my door unexpectedly, it made me feel special because you showing up without telling me meant that you were thinking of me, and the best feeling is when I open the door and see you there smiling at me like a dork, just seeing you there physically made me feel like every single one of my problems were gone, your face made my day everytime I saw it, I could probably die a very happy person if I saw your face one last time.

When I lay on my deathbed one last time. Just seeing you there made me feel like everything was alright, and nothing bad was happening.

But when I see tears falling from your eyes, down your cheeks, it made me feel bad, because I’m the reason those tears are coming down, I could see you dying a little bit inside because of me, and knowing that you’ll be having to say your last goodbye really soon, made things even worse.

The moment you leave I burst into tears because I know I’m going to be leaving everyone I love, especially you. You’ll be sleeping all alone without me by your side, when you lay there it’s not going to feel the same, because when you woke up in the morning I was the first thing you always saw. Pretty soon there’s just going to be a space there, where you’ll be thinking of all the moments we had. That space is just going to be a memory.

 

 At night I lay in guilt, staring at the sealing, “god if you loved me, why would you take me away from people that love me so dearly?” I ask god every night “Why are you taking me?”. When I lay there I think to myself, I’m so young.

 

I think of the moments of when you & I use to stay up all night just talking about all the stupid things we did when we were younger. One night you came out with the question that would change my life “will you marry me?” I so badly wanted to say no, because I knew that one day I was going to be taken away from you, the worst thing was that I was going to be taken at a young age, not old age like it should be. As I laid there not knowing what to say, you told me that you would love me forever, and nothing would come between us. I came out with the worst thing that you could possibly hear “I’m dying Jake, slowly. I can’t hurt you”, and when you laid there in shock, I knew right away that it was a mistake of saying that.

“I don’t care, I want to make sure that when you leave, you leave married to someone that you love” you said. In the end I said yes.

 

“Thank you” I said to you the next day you came to visit me on my death bed.

“For what?” you asked oh so curiously.

“Loving me, even when you knew I was going to leave you so early” I say

“I will always love you, even when you’re not with me in the moment, you’ll always be with me no matter what. I will always love you, Ali” you say as a tear comes falling down your face. You lean in and kiss me on the lips. “Are you hungry? I could go down to the cafe and grab you some food”. I just nod because I feel like we both need a little time alone so we could process.

I wish you could come with me so I don’t have to take this journey alone, but you shouldn’t be taken away too young away from the other people you love. Right this moment, you are all I want. It hurts knowing that one day you’ll find someone else that isn’t me, but maybe while I’m in heaven i’ll find somebody like you, someone that will make me feel happy until you come.

 

You would always bring out the best of me, the side that me and nor my family and friends had never seen, and right at that moment I knew that we were meant to be. You made me feel stupid and goofy, but you looked right through it and still loved me for who I was. You made me a better person, you took everything that was wrong with me and made it go away just by being by my side. Our love was like the one in movies, but ours was better because it was real. I would wish I could have a guy like the ones in the movies, but I got one that was even better. Jake.

 

You came into my room in a rush “why do you have to leave me, Ali? I thought you loved me” you said in tears “I thought god loved me, why is he taking you away from me?!”

I look at you with pity “because he needs me now, more than ever”

“I need you now, more than ever!” you replied

“Jake?”

“Yes, Ali?”

“I think it’s time for you to go home, come back tomorrow” it was the hardest thing to say you. You looked at me like I crushed your heart, you turned around and just left.

I rolled over to my side and started crying. I hate see you like this, it hurts me.

 

The first time you kissed me wasn’t on our first date, because you knew I wasn’t ready, and you respected that, I respected it. We were on the path, the love path as other people would call it because it was everyone’s first kiss.

We sat on a couple of rocks near the stream, just watching it. On the corner of my eyes I saw you walking up to me and that moment I knew you were going to kiss me, so I turned my head and looked at you, and that was when it happened. I felt like I was safe and that you truly did love me, I didn’t feel butterflies, I felt fireworks, I knew we were meant to be.

 

I heard a knock on the door, so I turned around and saw you. You looked like the life was drained out of you. “I love you, Ali. I will always love you.” he says

“Thank you. Jake, I want you to know that I will never stop loving you, my love for you is a never ending song.” tears were coming down both of our cheeks “but when you finally accept that I’m not here to love you anymore, and that you know I’m gone. I want you to find somebody, no one like me though” I say “I want you to find somebody that will make you feel special, someone that will drop everything to make sure that your alright. No one like me”

“Ali, you know I can’t do that” you say

“I know, but promise me you will. You can’t be like this forever” I say

“I will” as you say hesitantly.

“I love you, Jake”

“I love you, Ali”

“Now go home, gets some rest, and come back tomorrow, I’m not going nowhere” you came over to me before you left, and gave me one last kiss.

 

Little did we both know that, that night was my last night, and that kiss was our last kiss and those I love you’s was our last.

At 3:14 I was pronounced dead. March 14th 2014, was the day you proposed to me.

 

The next day you came to visit me just like I said. You saw that my bed was empty, and you started screaming for me, but deep down you knew I was gone but you didn’t want to believe it. Tears were coming down fast, like never before, you walked over to the window that me and you used to sit at and you grabbed the pillow I used to cuddle when we talked there. You cried so hard. I knew I would have broken down if I saw you like that, but when you pulled your head out of your knee you saw a letter, with the rings that you gave me.

 

Jake Lynn Kings,

 

You are the most unique person I have ever meet. Thank you for making me feel like I was the only person in the world, thank you for taking all my problems away. I will always remember our first kiss on the love path, I hope you will too. Promise me that when you finally accept the fact that I’m gone, I want you to find someone, someone that will love you more than I did. Thank you so much for being here everyday for the past month. The moment you left I knew I was going to leave so I made sure I wrote this letter for you. Remember to be yourself, meet new people, travel the world, do things that you’ll be proud of in the future. Jake the most important things is that you’ll move on and become a better person.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU , I’LL BE WAITING.

Love you,

Alison May Kings


 

 

 


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