The Love I Once Felt

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 14, 2016

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Submitted: June 14, 2016

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My heart aches for you. I am tortured with thoughts of you, and though I am sometimes convinced that these feelings have faded, each and every time I fall in love with you again. This is a horrible thing to live with, the love I have for you. I know that it will never in this lifetime be returned. Sometimes I can live with that, but other times I cannot. I truly feel that no matter who you end up with, and I am certain that it will not be me, that this person will NEVER hold the love for you that I do.
And you just cast it aside. You allow me to feel these feelings, and feed the passion inside that I have for you because you enjoy the comfort I bring you, the comfort of knowing that I will always be there for you. You keep me around as a last resort.You know the never ending cycle; something you do or say upsets me, then I proceed to vent out my frustrations to you and threaten to move on. I never follow through with this threat, though, and then I eventually forgive you and come back. You know I will come back, so it doesn't mean a thing to you if you gamble with me and the existence I have in your life.Yet, I mean nothing to you. Tell me, if I meant anything to you, even my friendship, why do you disrespect me? Why do you continue to degrade me? What I have for you is very precious, and not everyone in this world can say that there is someone out there who sticks by them, through thick and thin. I tell you that I will always love you, and no matter what that I will always be there for you. Even if I get mad, I will always be there. I even joke that if I were to ever get married, I would cheat on my wife just to be with you. I say that if you were to call me and I found out you were in the hospital, that I would rush over there immediately to be by your side.I have threatened over and over that one day I will just disappear, and you won't ever hear from me again. Yet, I continue to come back and give you my love. That day at your house , I meant it when I said that this time I was going to disappear, I truly meant it from the bottom of my heart.This time, I'm not saying it as a strategy to scare you and hope that your love for me will suddenly come back, that you will chase after me to keep me around. This time, I don't want you to come back.You killed the most precious thing in the world, and that is love, understanding, and devotion. You may go through relationships throughout your life, and you are always used to me sitting around waiting, waiting around like some sad, pathetic little girl who has a stupid crush. A dumb girl who you can walk all over like a door mat.You can see who ever you please, but just know that if it goes sour, I won't be around to comfort you. I won't be around to keep you company and to remind you that, "no matter what, just remember that someone loves you." Know that I've never been this way to any girl but things get to a point and I'm done with the crying and the sadness , because I will end up dead I love you a lot and I wish you the best , I spent the whole day adding things of how I felt. 


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