The Hill of Crown Waters California

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
If the Nursery Rhyme Jack and Jill came out today it would look like this.

Submitted: June 14, 2016

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Submitted: June 14, 2016



The Hill of Crown Waters California

By Shadowgate


We've all heard the Jack and Jill Nursery Rhyme. Easy to remember and never throughout history has their been too much emphasis on Jack's head injury thus keeping it pure for children. Of course there's one interpretation where it was just a crown cup that was broken.

It dates back to 1765.

Imagine if we had to deal with Jack and Jill on a hill today?


"Hi I'm Jared Odell bringing you the 6:00 local news for Crown Waters California.

Recently a large hill in Crown Waters California has gotten attention. 48 year old Vanessa Brooks is expressing outrage about that hill. On September 24, 2014 she was walking by that hill when two children both brother and sister named Jack and Jill Summers dumped a bucket of water on to Vanessa Brooks as she past by the hill. Miss Brooks it's good to have you wish us."

Vanessa said "thank you."

Jared goes on to say "Miss Brooks please tell us in your words what happened."

Vanessa explains "I was walking past the big hill that everyone living in our town of Crown Waters knows about. Then Jack and Jill Summers dumped a bucket of water on to me and they yelled "WE'RE TIRED OF YOU TELLING US WHAT TO DO!"

Jared asked "okay so you know these two kids and this wasn't a random attack right?"

Vanessa said "last weekend I saw them in their driveway and that's the first time I met them. I saw a little girl who is Jill Summers get lip stick and eye shadow out of a purse and put it on. Her brother started laughing so I walked over there and asked them both for their names. They both gave me their names and I told them that I'd be waiting for their mother to come out the door and I'd be talking to her about this."

Jared asked "about what exactly?"

Vanessa answered "about Jill Summers putting her make up. I said to her "little girl you should not be wearing make up. So I demanded their names and got them. When their mother came out the door I told her mother my name and that I saw her daughter putting on make up and I was offended. Her mother gave me her name Kathrine Summers and told me this was the first time her daughter had ever done this. I then suggested she punish her daughter severely and Miss Summers said "kids are kids."

Jared said "Okay I will go now to Jack Summers aged 15 and Jill Summers aged 12 and their mother Katherine whose age I won't say."

Katherine says "oh thank you for not saying my age."

Jared says "oh and you named your two children Jack and Jill I'll bet the jokes never end."

The kids groan and Jack replied "they never end."

Jared asks "what happened with your kids on the 24'Th? They dumped water on a lady."

Jack answered "at 4 PM on September the 24'Th I dumped a pail of water on that mean old lady when I was up on the hill with my sister."

Jared said "why did you do that?"

Jack answered "because the Saturday that came before the 24'Th she came on to our drive way and tried to get my sister in trouble just for trying on makeup. I mean 12 year old girls do that."

Jared asked "that's all she was mad about?"

Jill answered "yes."

Katherine said "honestly I'm not happy my children dumped a pail of water on Miss Brooks but she should have minded her own business."

Jared said "Miss Brooks you called the police on Jack and Jill because they dumped water on you from the top of that hill. I will now go to Officer Decker Millard who responded to the incident.

Officer Millard when you came on the scene could you tell us what you saw?"

Officer Millard answered "I got a phone call on September 24, around 4 PM about a disturbance at the Hill of Crown Waters California. When I got to the big Hill of Crown Waters California as it's known I found Miss Brooks drenched and the kids were laughing on top of that hill. I told the children to come down for the hill. I asked their ages and names. Then I asked Miss Brooks to describe what happened. She told me that she'd complained to the mother of the girl last weekend that she was offended because the girl tried on makeup and they dumped water on her in retaliation. I turned to both children and said 'just because she got you in trouble young lady doesn't mean it was okay to dump water on her. The girl Jill Summers replied 'she came on to our driveway when I was putting on makeup. We were both minding our own business when she came up and demanded our names and she said she'd be speaking to our mother just because I was putting on makeup."

Officer Millard went on to say "I told the girl and the boy that I would have to speak to their mother about this. The boy Jack Summers called his mother and told her to come up to the hill which she did. When she arrived she scolded both children for dumping water on Miss Brooks. I informed Miss Brooks that usually I side with adults over children but I would not be pressing any charges in this incident and I also informed her that a 12 year old girl putting on makeup isn't a crime. Miss Brooks screamed that she wanted my badge number and that she'd be filing a complaint against me."

Jared said "let me go back to Miss Brooks, now Miss Brooks you admit you went on to their driveway and started hassling those children like they were doing something wrong."

Vanessa answered "well just the girl was putting on makeup."

Jared said "yes well even if the boy had been putting on makeup what gave you the right?"

Jack yelled "I DIDN'T PUT MAKE UP ON!"

Vanessa yelled "DON'T YOU INTERRUPT!"

Jared groaned "Miss Brooks those children were on their own property and it's not illegal or dangerous for a 12 year old girl to put on makeup. Why on earth did you go up to their driveway and claim you were offended?"

Vanessa exhaled with irritation and said "that little girl should not have been putting on make up. Little girls shouldn't wear makeup period."

Jared said "well apparently more residents are complaining about kids on that hill. I now go to Hanna Shocker who live at the hill with a resident named Janet Bond."

Hanna said "I'm here with a resident who is outraged about seeing a child on the hill. Miss Bond could you tell us what you saw?"

Janet Bond replied "I saw a boy up on that hill yesterday. He was up on that hill and he was unsupervised. When he came down from that hill I asked him his name and he said 'Ted Cody' and I asked him his age and he said '14'. Then I asked where his parents were and why he was up on that hill without adult supervision. He just scoffed at me. I demanded his mother's name and phone number and he told me to get out of his face. I was so disgusted. Children are on that hill and the parents aren't supervising."

Hanna said "oh he told you to get out of his face. Oh how rude of that boy."

Jared said "Hanna let me cut in and say I don't think a 14 year old is a small child that needs parental supervision to be on top of the hill."

Janet cut in and said "you're wrong mister. I'll tell you ever since we got away from the children should be seen and not heard rule we see kids doing whatever they want. I hope this boy's parents see this and I hope they turn him over to the police."

Hanna said "Miss Bond you're not the only one who's upset about kids playing on that hill. Jared please run the video of me interviewing residents outside the local Kroger."

Jared said "alright."

A video comes on.

Hanna is in the Kroger Parking lot and says to an elderly couple "how do you feel about children getting up on the big hill in this town."

The elderly gentlemen replies "well kids have played on hills for years."

A blonde lady throws her grocery bag into the air and screams then says "that hill is not monitored and there are no government safety regulations. I just can't believe it."

The video ends.

Jared looks toward the news camera disgusted.

"If you ask me some people in Crown Waters are off their crowns."

The news segment comes to an end.


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