Yell It Across The Room

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a story about a family that has to put up with trouble.

Submitted: June 14, 2016

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Submitted: June 14, 2016

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Yell It Across The Goddamn Room

By Shadowgate

…...

3:45 PM

14 year old Clyde Free arrived home from Crutch Middle School. His mother Diane snapped "Clyde your school called me to say you were given a citation for cussing."

Morton said "shit we have to go to court."

Diane snapped "it's a $250 fine."

Morton replied "we've got gangs and we've got corrupt school administrators and our kid is the one the police go after. It's bullshit!"

Diane became irritated and she said "Morton you know cussing is not allowed in school. It never has been."

Morton commented "well right now I'm not in a classroom. I'm in my Goddamn house. Therefore I'll yell it across the Goddamn room."

Diane moaned and Clyde said "the judge will believe the police officer over me."

Diane replied "well maybe you shouldn't cuss in school to begin with."

Clyde shot back "well right now I'm not in a classroom. I'm in my Goddamn house. Therefore I'll yell it across the Goddamn room."

Diane yelled "LOOK HERE MISTER I'M NOT HAPPY!"

Clyde shot back "you're unhappy most of the time and we know that. You don't have to yell it across the Goddamn room."

Diane yelled "MORTON WILL YOU TELL CLYDE TO QUIT? I'M HIS MOTHER AND HE SHOULDN'T CUSS IN FRONT OF ME!"

Morton yelled "QUIT CUSSING IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO YELL IT ACROSS THE GODDAMN ROOM!"

Clyde answered "okay dad."

Morton's cell phone rang and he answered it.

"Hey Morton it's Joseph how's it going?"

"Not good because Clyde got a ticket in school for cussing. I mean shit whatever happened to just giving them detention?"

Joseph answered "now days everything in our schools is considered a crime or sexual harassment."

Morton asked "remember when we used to dream of our tenth grade history teacher sexually harassing us?"

Joseph replied "we wanted her to do more than that."

Morton laughed out loud and all of the sudden he heard his wife yell "MORTON WILL YOU GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE?"

Morton said "Joseph I have to go my wife is screaming."

Diane asked "what are we going to do about the ticket?"

Morton answered "well if the judge says he has to pay the fine then he should have to pay the fine. Does he have the money?"

Diane answered "well if we have to pay it then he should be punished at home."

Morton asked "when do we have to go to court?"

Clyde answered "Wednesday morning."

Clyde went on to say "I don't want to lose any money I have saved up. This violates my freedom of speech."

Diane yelled angrily "YOU CAN'T CUSS IN SCHOOL!"

Morton yelled "GODDAMN YOU YELLED IN MY EAR! I'M RIGHT HERE NOT ACROSS THE GODDAMN ROOM!"

Diane groaned as loud as she could.

Morton said "well shit now days you can get fined for anything. Oh and don't even get me started on the zero tolerance crap in schools."

Diane's cell phone rang and she answered it. It was her mother Claire.

"Hi Mom."

"Yes mom Clyde is here and he'll be grateful for the Birthday money."

"Okay I'll tell him."

Diane hangs up and says "Grandma sent you a check through the mail for $100."

Clyde replied "yes birthday money."

Diane told Clyde to email Grandma telling her thank you and Clyde said "too bad she's not here or I could just yell thank you across the Goddamn room."

THE END

 

 


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