Late Night Thoughts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Random Late Night Thoughts which flow through my head

Submitted: June 16, 2016

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Submitted: June 16, 2016




I’m awake at 01:51 in the morning staring at my computer screen with multiple thoughts rushing through my head. My phone keeps switching on even though I get no notifications, which irritates me, because even though I don’t expect anyone to message me at this hour, I still feel a rush of anticipation when the LED brights up my dark room. Even in the dead of night, I hear traffic outside my window, as a cars speed past, taking the advantage of the lack of traffic. Why am I writing this?

It wasn’t one of those sudden rushes of inspiration all those people talk about in self help books, neither was it a planned activity (not that I’d plan a moment of self analysis at an ungodly hour such as this). It is rather a sign of desperation. I’m not really sure how to explain it. However, there is a goal for writing this. I’m gonna be brutally honest here and just say that if I had the opportunity to make money off this, I would definitely take it. I know that sounds like an opportunistic move, but I am not one of those people who are ‘moral’, and write because they want to ‘help the community’ or ‘do it for the love of literature’. I find that whole idea bullshit.Well, then again, maybe you shouldn’t take me seriously. I am just a 17 year old boy who rants in the middle of the night.

I need money. It’s not for drugs, or extreme shit like that. It’s not like I’m dirt poor and I would go begging on the streets to get a bite to eat. It’s because I have never actually experienced the emotion of getting paid by actually earning something. The thrill, the excitement… as I hear.  I want to earn enough money to buy a laptop. A really good one. Now it’s definitely not a 2000 dollar laptop which would probably result in me selling my body to earn a living. It’s a decent 800 dollar laptop which I could use to play video games and such.

It’s weird having your parents pay for luxuries such as that. I always feel indebted to them after they do such a thing, and I can never seem to find a way to repay them. Now, even though it doesn’t seem like such a big deal, when I’m enjoying my gift, I feel a small, nagging feeling in the back of mind, whispering ‘ You’re an ungrateful degenerate, go kill yourself’. Okay, so maybe it isn’t that extreme, and that probably sounded like your average Youtube troll, but I really do get the feeling that I don’t pay for what I get.

Now some people would immediately point out, ‘Oh, but if you get good grades, it won’t matter one bit’, or ‘ they love you no matter what’. Sure, that may be true, but it sure as hell doesn’t make me feel any better, which is why I am trying to earn this money.

Freelancing is probably the best bet I got. I mean, my writing skills can only be rivaled by Shakespeare himself, am I right? Anyways, I sign up on the site, excited t get my very first job, only to realize that you need to present yourself in a convincing manner so that people trust you and hire you for the job. Now, let me get this straight, no matter what fancy terminology you describe yourself with, and no matter how many social media links you put in, you will never get a single selection for a job unless you have good qualifications. This may not seem unjust for you, but in sites which are specialized to cater to high school and college students, I can never seem to get a job due to the fact that I have 0 experience (due to my age) and my competing bidder is a f***ing rocket scientist, who owns Hollywood, NASA and half of the Amazon forest, and also ‘has a taste for classical music’. How am I supposed to compete with that?!

I just spend half an hours trying my best to make mediocre school achievements look like a Nobel Prize and yet…no one. Well, anyways. I’m done with my rant. I blew off all my steam. Its 2:15 in the morning, and the traffic still moves by . My dad just glared at me, so I should probably take this as a sign to shut my computer down and pretend to sleep. Oh. Did I mention I have a cat?

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