The Fall of Gods and Men

I LOVE this first chapter BB. ;)
I could literally see what was happening.
Can't wait for the next chapter and to see my character in it. :D
Keep up the good work.
~Rath

Okay, first of all, I'm a huge mythology geek, so the entire concept of intertwining mythologies is something I applaud you for; seriously, if I read about Zeus sending a message to Odin back when I was a young nerd, I'd be drooling :-) Now that I'm an old(er) nerd ;), I can still enjoy this stuff concocted by your knowledge, curiosity, and unrestricted imagination. Like everything else you've done so far, it's beautifully written, with liveliness, ease of delivery, and passion peculiar to your style. Very strong beginning. keep it up, BB.

Fantastic start! I think Asta is a great character - very strong but with a sad backstory which immediately engages the reader :) I especially liked how you started with an action sequence that shows her amazing fighting skills in action!

Overall the world you're depicting here is very intriguing. The combination of old and new, mythical and mundane is something that I look forward to seeing more of, i.e. the messenger of the gods wears jeans ;)

Thanks a lot for the update - I'm looking forward to reading more!

So now Asta has met Hermes, who seems to know what he's about. And, we have a scroll and a spear after his rather spectacular exit.

I had to magnify the page to the max before I could read the tiny font. You might consider making it a bit bigger for us "eyesight-challenged" seniors. :-)

~Tom

Wow, that was a fantastic way to start this off. It was very interesting to read and I am so excited to see what you do next *Jumps around crazily, with hands in the air* I loved this so far and know I will continue to love this. Those descriptions of yours are, as usual, awesome to read :)

A lovely start

This was a great start! I really enjoyed our first taste of Asta, especially as a strong character...especially a female character and who doesn't like a strong female character? Cuz I do. :)
Draugers remind me of skyrim. :)
I love the reminiscent of the Crimson cape though. Beautiful way of combining imagery and what's the word. Backstory. :)
Hermes seems a little weird. I'm not quite familiar with Greek mythology anymore- but I can see him serving Zues. 15 days most certainly is not a lot of time! Theyd best hop on it! :D

I do like how you started off with a battle, and how every creature is being affected by this entity. I also like how it is affecting more than one city.

Asta is an interesting character, and I think it's great you have her at depleted levels of strength and fight. You are putting your own spin on the gods from different mythologies, and you are getting it right.

You have done a great introduction with Hemmes, with enough back story on Asta to show why Zeus would want her to pass on the message to Odin. You even described so well the materials that bind the message a secret, so that it says a message that Odin shall read. I've always said when things are done minimal, you get so much more lore because you are not shoving pointless intonation and actions down our throat, so BigBang you are brilliant indeed.

I still think you are a supreme talent, and that you have a beautiful writing style where your descriptions and details are so fucking stunning. You are one of the best talents out there, and I say that even when I am cunning :p

"...if her steps falter(ed)..." This is a great start to the book. Your choice of words is great, neither too simple, nor too complex. Some words were highlighted unnecessarily though I suspect it was booksie doing so and not you.

I already love Asta; she has this resilient and brave attitude that I love to see in the main character, especially if it's a female character.
Hermes wearing jeans? That's definitely creative haha. I wonder what's written inside that parchment though.
This is a wonderful first chapter! I can already tell this story is gonna be amazing, so pretty please keep me updated! c:

I loved this, I could picture every detail. This chapter was beautifully written, and I congratulate you for achieving something I would never be able to, bringing other characters and gods that are not of your own creation, like mentioning Zeus, and yet still describing every detail perfectly. The mention of a disease is intriguing, and the entity sounds dangerous. I can imagine this will be a very difficult event to overcome, almost impossible even. Fifteen days is not long, and if that’s all the time she has, then I can imagine how many struggles will be involved in overcoming whatever this “entity” is. So far I think this story is going to be very unique, and you're definitely taking an interesting approach with this story, but I love it. Keep up the good work.

Powerful first chapter! I'm really excited for this, and I will be sure to follow up. As mentioned before, when myth meets myth, I'm always interested. I wish there was more of these kind of works! Awesome collab :)

I really enjoyed your first chapter BB!!

It has kept me yearning for what happens next, between the Nordic and Greek gods!! ;-)

Oh my God. This was absolutely incredible. Literally nothing bad to say about it. Usually I would find something to critique but this time I came up dry. You might have to explain the whole character submissions thing to me, but I can't wait to get involved. Seeya around!~ DJ

I like the character Asta and its a cool start.
I enjoyed it.
Its is very intriguing and mythical :)

When are you gonna updataaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh?! DX

A mix of the Greek gods and the Norse gods... Sounds fantastic to me! I love mythology, so thus far this story intrigues me. Anyway, such a great concept. I can't wait to read more.

You give me great hope to become as good of a writer as you some day. Very descriptive, a++