Interviewing a Neighborhood

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Parents are very unhappy about a new clothing article.

Submitted: June 18, 2016

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Submitted: June 18, 2016

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Interviewing A Neighborhood

By Shadowgate

…...

News Reporter Sally Hunter works for Channel Five News. Today she went to a local neighborhood to hear angry local residents complain about "Jerry's Underwear" company. The company has been putting out underwear for girls and teenagers that some feel are too sexy.

Sally Hunter says "I'm live with Allison Baker a mother who is angry because as she puts it The Jerry's Underwear Company makes underwear for girls and teens that too sexy. Is that correct Mrs. Baker?"

Allison yelled "I'M AN ANGRY CHRISTIAN MOTHER AND I'M LEADING THE MOVEMENT AGAINST THAT FILTHY UNDERWEAR COMPANY!"

Another lady walked up and said "my name is Tiffany Bowl and Christians like us are fed up with these Goddamn companies selling sex to our kids."

Allison said "I've got my 12 year old son with me because like Tiffany said we love children."

Todd yawns and then Allison slaps him and says "STAND UP STRAIGHT AND QUIT ACTING LIKE A SISSY LITTLE FAGGOT!"

Allison looks up at the camera and says "you have to be on top of the kids."

Tiffany says "absolutely and oh look here comes Sarah."

A fat lady walked up and said to the camera "my name is Sarah Dumper and I've had with these teenage girls distracting my husband with their asses. This underwear company should be burnt to the ground."

Sally asked "wait the underwear that these teenage girls are wearing doesn't show does it?"

Sarah replied "well this underwear company isn't exactly helping. We as Christian Parents demand that teenagers dress better."

Tiffany commented "if I had my way children would be wearing school uniforms 24/7 or they'd be arrested for not doing so."

Allison yelled "these Goddamn parents need to make their kids wear Goddamn school uniforms 24/7."

Sarah yelled "THESE GODDAMN PARENTS ARE WORTHLESS FOR LETTING THEIR KIDS DRESS HOWEVER THEY WANT! I'M TIRED OF MY HUSBAND BEING DISTRACTED BY TEENAGE SLUTS. AS CHRISTIANS WE DEMAND MODEST DRESS ON THE PART OF THESE FUCKING TEENAGERS!"

Sally asked "Mrs. Baker you say you love children but slapped your son and called him a faggot."

Allison replied "oh I'm a Christian parent so I can hit my kid whenever I want."

Sarah commented "we need to hit girls who wear underwear made by Jerry's Underwear Company."

Sally asked "Mrs. Dumper how will you know which girls are wearing that brand of underwear unless you pull their pants down or look up their skirts?"

Sarah answered "well there should be mandatory strip searches done by the police upon any female who is under the age of 21 to ensure they're not wearing sinful underwear."

Sally pointed out "well there's this thing called the fourth amendment."

Sarah replied back angrily "EXCUSE ME!"

Sally said "fourth amendment."

Sarah said "the constitution should not be applied to children."

Sally stated "well I must say your love for children sure is showing."

Sally rolled her eyes at the camera in disgust.

Allison said "we as Christian parents will stand against that rotten underwear company."

Todd responded "hey mom did you know if we lived in a Muslims country that underwear company would be burned down?"

Allison answered "well we don't want to live in a Muslim country because then we'd have no rights."

Todd responded "you'd lose your rights as a woman in a Muslim country. In a Muslim country I'd have no rights as a child just as my Christian Parents say I should have no rights in America."

The rest of the neighborhood cheered Todd's statement comparing Islam to Christianity.

Sally said "well the neighborhood has spoken and they see these Christian mothers as being no different than Muslims. This is Sally Hunter signing off."

THE END

 


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