Plant life

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Plants and flowers are not my friends

Submitted: June 19, 2016

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Submitted: June 19, 2016

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I think that I am the only person in the world that walks into a nursery to pick out plants and flowers for my yard and the plants hide. I was looking at a very colorful plant with a beautiful flower across the aisle, when I got into reaching distance it suddenly wilted and lost its flower. Wait a minute you were beautiful a second ago. It also would appear that the bees are in cahoots with the flowers and plants. I again walk down another aisle and all of a sudden three hundred bees start swarming the flower just as I start to reach for it and put the lovely specimen into my basket. I am beginning to suspect that nature is against me. I think plant life wants to deprive me of oxygen.

 Sure I’m known in the plant circle as the terminator but it’s not always my fault. I have never purchased a plant or flower with the intentions of killing it.  My motives are good, just my thumbs are not so green. I have now started buying fake flowers to help fill in my planters but, if you can believe it even the fake flowers are losing their leaves. I chalk this action up to the wind and I am claiming to be completely free of any bad conduct towards the fake flowers. 

I am at the point now I feel compelled to wear a disguise when entering a nursery hoping not to be recognized by the plants, flowers, bees or the staff.  Yep the staff has also turned against me. I think it’s because the flowers start shaking when they see me, which causes them to lose some of the dirt in the pot, which spills onto the floor. All that activity of course requires the staff to grab a broom and clean up the mess. Fine I say who needs you, not me. I can live plant and flower free.  I’ll buy cactus they can stand up to almost anyone or anything. Ouch they bite. Wonder if that was on purpose?


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