Ditzy Dotty

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Centered around the story of a previous character in my work, Dorthy "Dotty" Anne Shaffer. Her story of how she was admitted to a mental hospital in the first place.

Submitted: June 20, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 20, 2016



Ditzy Dotty


Doctor Drew Collins looks over the report given to him by a senior member. It’s lengthy for a 27 year old female. The report looks more like a confession before God himself rather than an official documentation belonging to a patient.

Drew: “Doctor’s note. Patient 1311, Dorthy Anne Shaffer. Refers to the nickname ‘Dotty.’ Admittance evaluation will be performed at arrival of patient Monday, October 22nd, 1979. Height: 5’4”

Weight: 127 lbs.

Eyes: blah, blah, blah”

Drew trailed off from formalities, preferring to fill in the necessary fields later on in favor of talking with his patients first. Saturday came and went, and even Sunday came and went. Drew loathed the career path he had chosen. It was the same case over and over again. Talk to a patient, listen to how crazy they were, and prescribe medication that made them worse while making them seem better.

“If only lobotomy was still legal,” Drew said quietly to himself.

He waited in his office, all the while tapping country tunes on his desk with a pen. A knock on his door and swift swing of it open revealed his next patient. He cringed at the sight of her and the increasing diameter of the hole where the handle punctured the wall. The orderly in charge of transport forcefully sat her in a chair and uncuffed her. The orderly was a bruiting man with a fleeting memory. Drew assumed he would be admitted to this hell hole soon enough. The man shook Drew’s desk as he slammed the door on his way out.

Drew: “Dorthy Anne Shaffer, I presume. I would hate for you to be anyone else,” Drew said with sarcasm.

Dotty: “What’s up Dick? Oh, I’m sorry, I meant Dr. Dick.” She made herself comfortable in the chair by swinging her legs to be on top of the left armrest. Drew proceeded with the interview process by taking out his recorder.

Drew: “Monday, October 22, 1972. Patient 1311. Dorthy ‘Dotty’ Anne Shaffer. Refer to previous recording for height and weight. Eyes, brown. Hair, red. Patient is shown wearing mandatory hospital wear consisting of blue and white scrubs. Hair is unkempt, makeup is patchy and poorly applied. Dark circles around suggest lack of sleep. Possible insomnia, but will require more testing and interview.”

Dotty: “You really know how to charm a girl, don’t you doc?”

Drew: “You were admitted to this hospital with aid from your sister, weren’t you?”

Dotty: “Good ole sis. Always coming in to bail me out, huh?”

Drew: “She also happens to be a doctor here. Please note, Dr. Mary Anne Shaffer is a medical resident. Dr. Shaffer is the younger sister of patient and may conflict with preceding evaluation of patient, but further analysis will be needed.”

Dotty: “This is gonna be fun don’t you think doc. You, me, and a rap sheet as long as a phone book. I bet you’re gonna start off with asking me “Why do you think you are here?” Dotty mimicked Drew’s tone of voice. “Well doc, I think I’m here for the torture and molestation of one Daniel Bennington. I already gave my confession in court and was hoping to be sent to a maximum facility with all of my sisters, but instead I get sent here to be babied by my sister and your sorry ass.” She let out a long strain of breath and slumped in her chair. She began chewing on her already chewed fingernails. Every so often spitting the remains out of her mouth.

Drew scribbled something in his report and sat back in his chair. He stared at her with intent. She wasn’t like other patients. He pondered the possibility that she got into the institution through bribery from her sister. She didn’t take pride in what she did, but was rather upset by it. He lit a cigarette and gave it to her. She took 3 long drags until it was finished.

Drew: “What are you good at?”

Dotty: “What kind of stupid question is that? You got my whole profile right there? You tell me what I’m good at?”

Drew: “This is just a list of things you did and places you’ve been. I want to know what you’re good at.”

Dotty: “Not a lot of thing doc. I was never good in school. Mary was the smart one. I’m four years her senior and she still caught up with me and passed me. In high school they called me ‘Ditzy.’ A name I learned to love. Students, teachers, and even substitutes would call me that. You embrace shit like that, you know?”

She adjusted in her chair, placed her head in her hands, and her elbows on her knees. She resembled and beaten, war veteran. Drew was half expecting her to yell out, “I’ve seen somethings man. Stuff no human should ever see.”

Dotty: “I was never good at taking authority. A job at a fast food restaurant never lasted more than four weeks. It sucks having a 17 year old tell you how to make a cheeseburger. Bun, ketchup, meat, cheese, pickles, mustard, bun wait I think that’s wrong. Bun, mustard, cheese, ketchup, pickles…”

She trailed off while mouthing the ingredients and counting on her fingers.

Dotty: “SON OF A BITCH!”

Her abrupt outburst caught Drew off guard and made him jump.

Dotty: “I can’t remember. How fucking hard is it to make a goddamn burger. It doesn’t even matter how the order goes. Some fat bastard is going to shove it in his hole anyway until his heart gives out. That’s what I can’t stand in this fucking society. Why don’t we eat real food anymore? I bet each burger is made out of some fat ass and fed to another fat ass until that fat ass dies and is fed to another fat ass. Looking at you doc, I bet you ate some fat ass’ fat ass once. Did it taste meaty to you or did it taste like a fucking fat ass!”

She scratched the sides of her head as if her hair had a generation of fleas living there. Drew pondered the possibility of cutting the nest to make her look androgynous. He was tired at looking at the messy fire atop her head. She rocked in her chair back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

Drew: “What are you doing?” Drew asked. He too sounded tired and annoyed.

Dotty: “What do you think I’m doing? I’m scratching. I do this when I’m pissed off at the world.”

Drew: “I can see that. What I mean is that I asked you what you are good at, not what you aren’t good at. I’m curious as to what you can do. If you have even an ounce of productivity in you.”

Dotty: “I can roll a joint in 10 seconds flat.”

Drew couldn’t help but snicker at the absurd declaration. At this point, Dr. Shaffer bust through the door and threw her arms around her sister. Dotty was not pleased and began to separate their bodies by way of boot to abdomen. Dr. Shaffer was torn away and looked at her sister with a childish look on her face.

Dr. Shaffer: “Don’t do that Dotty. You don’t know if I could be pregnant.”

She rubbed her imaginary pregnant belly and smiled in the goofiest way imaginable. Doctor Drew and Dotty met her eyes with looks of disgust.

Dotty: “You’ve never been with a man. You’re not a whore. I haven’t even seen you kiss a guy. Have you ever even let a guy see your tits? Not that those mosquito bites count as tits anyway.”

Dr. Shaffer’s face turned crimson and she looked nervous.

Dr. Shaffer: “I just wanted to wish you good luck, Dr. Collins. And, I hope you be good Dotty, no more cursing or profane language. Dr. Collins has to write all that stuff down.”

Dr. Shaffer left the room and half skipped, half walked down the hallway.

Dr. Drew: “I’m calling it for today.” He waved the orderly back in. “Please escort Ms. Shaffer to her room.”

Dotty was forced up by the brute and dragged off down the hallway.

Dr. Drew lit a cigarette of his own and laid down on the couch in his office. Designed to comfort while also stressing out patients. The cushions were soft and thick, but the springs created uneasiness in the back. Like trying to sleep on an unsteady ship. Drew picked the couch out to make it easy for his patients to talk to him while also stressing them enough to get to the roots of their issues. It proved effective from time to time. The schizophrenics were harder to crack. Feelings of being abducted were associated with their time on the couch. Sedatives were heavily used when they encountered the couch.

“Dotty Shaffer,” Drew Said out loud. He thought of the upcoming sessions associated with her. A nervous disorder was obvious, which could also be the cause of her possible insomnia. Four out of seven doctors diagnosed her with Attention-Deficit Disorder (ADD). Drug use from the looks of her arms. DUIs littered every other arrest while the others were public drunkenness or disturbances. She was admitted to an emergency room at 18 for excessive bleeding from her uterus. She claimed she took blood thinners and that it was her time of the month. The preceding doctor lists possible self-administered abortion or assisted abortion and domestic abuse. Bruises to the face and abdomen were also listed for that evening’s report. Multiple visits for STD related incidents. He’ll have to get a test for HIV. The only thing Drew couldn’t find was the need for her to be admitted to a mental hospital. Bribery seemed more likely at this point. Drew proposed a week until their next session. He won’t be able to see her until he finished reviewing her portfolio.

“Dotty Shaffer,” Drew said once again.

© Copyright 2018 Voskie. All rights reserved.

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