Gone For Five Years

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This was written in Arabic when I was ten, to my grandpa who is gone for five years now. I translated it to English to day, and hear it is. To my grandpa. The first one to show me how it is to be loved by a simple act that I still remember to this day. This is a different type of love. Yet, this is the love I am in a desperate need of. I don’t stay much in one country or city. I stay in one school for maximum three years and friends come and go. There might be others around you who are like me and I need a promise from all those who read this, to smile at random people when you walk in the street. Who knows. You might live with a depressed person in your house that doesn’t show any emotions. Talk to them.

Submitted: June 20, 2016

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Submitted: June 20, 2016

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I always felt unwanted

Like food over-salted

 

I would cry day and night

Struggling with this fight

 

A fight between myself and I

When a nice person came by

 

My mother said, “You don’t belong to us, and you will never!”

Then I went back to bed

And started to shiver.

 

You heard her

And got mad

 

Then you yelled at her

And gave her what you had

 

“She is your daughter, remember?”

He said, and my mind wouldn’t hear what else had been said.

 

I heard your footsteps,

You were coming toward my room.

 

You knocked and entered,

Smiled, picked me up,

And placed me on your lap.

 

I was only 10 at the time.

I didn’t commit a crime.

 

I just smiled at my mom

And received a look of disgust

And words that turns the heart to crusts.

 

“Tell me if his idiot hurt you again and I will kill her.”

You said that to me and made a funny face

I laughed and gave myself another chance.

 

“No matter, what, promise me that if you someday you feel hate towards someone, you talk to someone that you can trust. Because you are still a little girl and this heart of yours can’t tell the difference between love and hate if you felt hate towards someone. Because once you let the word hate control your brain, it will control you as a whole and it will blind you from those you love and those you hate. And I promise to always be there for you.”

You said that not dealing with the consequences.

You forgot to say, “I am not the only one. There are many like myself.”

 

I had faith on you

I trusted you

 

Two days later

You were gone.

 

Broken and shattered

That was my heart.

 

You fell to the ground

Right in front of me.

And I never heard a sound

And hoped I was too blind to see.

 

My smile faded with your smile

And tears were soon to make me blind.

 

“Grandpa! Grandpa!”

But words wouldn’t come out of my mouth

 

You promised to be there for me, but you died

You promised to hear me out.

 

Then some strangers came

Ad took you away from me

 


© Copyright 2017 Salma Said. All rights reserved.

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