Body Image

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 21, 2016

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Submitted: June 21, 2016

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Hey, I know this is different. I decided I really just kind of wanted to rant and I guess I decided I'd use this platform to do so. I'm not trying to phish for comments in anyway or beg for sympathy. I just wanted to talk openly about this shit to feel better about myself. I've probably hinted at the idea that I have body dysmorphia and body positivity issues. I really don't talk about it often if at all because I feel like there's such a shame and stigma to it. It doesn't conform with our sociological introspective on "masculinity" - whatever the fuck that means anyways.The de facto reaction is, "Oh you need to fucking man up you fucking pussy"" - or something like that. There is such a dire need for men to come out and talk and be honest about these things so guys don't feel like there's something wrong with them. I guess that's kind of why I wanted to talk about it. So I'm going to be completely real with you guys for a bit. Everyday I look at myself in the mirror to come to the conclusion that I am flawed. Either my chin is too flabby, my legs are too chunky, my waist is too wide, I'll suck in my stomach and grip onto my ribs, hoping that I could maybe find comfort in my skin somehow. The worst part is, I know that it's not even as bad as I make it seem. That I'm just never satisfied with myself and my worth. I'll take selfies, or whatever, to purely make me feel better about myself. There will be days where I will hardly eat at all because I feel like a sack of shit. I look at myself and I see a flaw in design. That's something I cannot unsee. I've gone through a lot these past couple months, I've mildly lost some of my weight, but no matter what I cannot feel satisfied. I'll never be able to know if I'll be satisfied one day with what I see in the mirror. I just want to leave a message for any guys, or even girls for that matter struggling with issues like this that they are not alone, and you are not any less of a "man" for possesing human qualities and emotions and feeling insecure about your body image. This past year of my life would not have been possible for me if it hadn't been for all the amazing and stellar people I've met from all different platforms. The ammount of support I've been given from a variety of amazing people never ceases to make me greatful. And to those people I'd like to say thank you and that I love you all. And I hope anyone struggling with these setbacks will learn to improve and grow stronger just as I am learning to... bit by bit.


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