Ultimate Baldness

Reads: 159  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
It is about the emotional areas and dilemmas when it comes to men and their hair and losing it. This is only taken from a personal view and is not stating any facts.

I`m a first time writer so this is kind of a training arena for me :-) I would really appreciate if you could drop a feedback line, so I can progress in future works. Thanks.

Submitted: June 22, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 22, 2016

A A A

A A A


 

Ultimate Baldness

by

Ansgar Rhorfalk

 

There is one thing about baldness, it's neat.

Don Herold, 20th century humourist

 

Most men fear this, it comes slowly and it`s sly and unpredictable, while leaving receding hairlines along its treacherous path. All the while, you can often only look at the horror that is unfolding in front of your eyes. Some ignore it to the point of waking up one day and go: NOOO!!!! Others get comments like, “Are your hair getting thinner? I think I can see a small bald spot on top of your head,” with a tone like you have some contagious disease. Others are very meticulous about their hair, and get remedies and creams, speak to their doctors, “hair gurus”, they pray and have hair implant, as if you are a corn field.

Some of this is plain bogus, and some are expensive in the long run to make it last if it is in your genes to get thinner hair. The hair is an entity, living on its own, growing, falling off, and getting thinner, changing in outlines and change in colour as we go from child to grown up and into old age. Not everyone is subjected to this in a serious degree, but in men, it is more normal to get receding hairlines in some form, in different stages in their lives.

Truth is, I am a victim of receding hairlines and male baldness from early stages. (Sounds like talking about a horrible accident, when I write this sentence). I was one of those that coloured my hair to the point of madness, colours are good for the soul, right? By the time I was about seventeen, I began to see some minor changes in my hairline on my upper forehead. As most of teenage boys, I was ignorant, and of all things thought this was a “passing phase”, and continued to do wicked hairstyles and a head full of gel with black light glowing effects to look cool at the teens club (late 1990`s.

About one year later, it was class picture day at the high school I was in; my hair was coal black at the time, and since my skin is white, you could say it gave a kind of contrast. I felt confident and excited, when the envelope finally weeks later arrived in the mailbox, taking it to my room and opened it.

Twelve teenage boy monkeys, (this is European vocational studies, with only “men” that year) posing their asses off, trying to look bigger than the one next to them. I was sitting in the 2nd row, number 3 from the left, I ignored all others on the picture, like all self-obsessed teenagers, just to look at the marvel of the universe`s latest and proudest creation, me.

The universe must have overslept or having a bad day, and needed a scapegoat to get its day to get better. For I was effing pale with the white skin and black hair, (damn you flash photography) and the photographer have now carved a memory in stone onto my brain that I will never forget, my worst nightmare, my hairline was starting to change in shape!!

You probably think I was crazy for reacting that way and if you saw the picture, you would probably not think it was that bad. but how would a 17-year-old boy`s normal reaction be on that realisation, really? In my mind it was bad. Nobody had said anything up until then, so I thought maybe the rest of the class did not notice it. I buried it in my subconscious mind with the biggest shovel my brain could find. Nevertheless, the damage was already done. I was now conscious and aware about my hair changing. I started to grow my hair just a little longer to cover the slowly, receding hairlines, learned the techniques to “make do” with my hair.

Fast forward a few months, I had turned 18 got a full-time apprentice job at an Oil/Gas company, was settling in with the feeling of really starting a career, get experience in the field, working with new people and do personal development, the future was bright as some say. However, the feeling did not last, as all the new apprentices got called in to get their access ID cards made, and what does that include? Taking pictures! I quickly went to the bathroom to fix my hair, including covering up my hairlines with ruffling it with some water. When the ID cards got handed out, it really did not look so bad, and the picture was not of the best quality, kind of shaded, which also contributed to make me feel better.

From 2002-2004, my main concern was to get my degree, and keeping my hair at a neutral level, and it worked for a while. Buying different hair products that makes the hair look thicker and ruffle the hair, colouring it preferably light colours for thickening effect. Doing whatever I needed to do to make it work. My hair rather liked to be treated this way, being groomed and treated well.

Then something changed, it would involve that when I finished my apprenticeship, I enrolled in the military (mandatory for most men in many countries), that involved some serious changes in my life, that included one year of high-intensity training, new environments and challenges, some went well, and some didn’t. Not uncommon for most young men leaving home. However, when I was keeping my hair to a minimum of grooming because of always being busy, and everybody was occupied in their own stress they do not even notice anything beyond their personal sphere.

Tactfully my hair decided to, without my noticing at first, crawl upwards like a sneaky bastard it was. It took a while before I was reminded of this; I was serving my duty as a soldier on a ship, along with many other soldiers. Some of us were standing one evening on the poop-deck, talking and bragging, when one guy who was known to speak his mind said to me: “Damn your hair`s gotten thin, I can see straight through it”!

 

“Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'
Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?” 

Frank Zappa, musician

 

He laughed as he said that, taking a hit from his cigarette. “Somethings have to give in to intelligence,” said and laughed with him. Although inside I was a little bit insulted, because I had not noticed this for some time. Later that day I went to my cabin to look in the mirror. “Shit”, I thought to myself as I sat down on the bed, “what to do”? Do I shave my head and keep I that way, or do I accept the fact my hair is getting thinner on the top? Should I start to wear a cap for EVERY occasion? I started listing pros and cons:

Pros

  1. If I shave my head, it is cheap and can look cool if your head is nicely shaped.
  2. Buddhist monks shave their heads as a symbol to let go of material attachments and the self-obsessed ego. But I like things, unfortunately.
  3. I will never have to wake up with bed-hair.
  4. If your head is nicely shaped, you will look more badass when working out.
  5. If it’s worse than having thin hair, I can always grow it back.
  6. Some women think a shaved head is sexy.

Cons

  1. People ask if you are ashamed of your hair and you have to explain yourself.
  2. If you missed a spot when removing your hair, you will look like you`re having some vitamin deficiency.
  3. Getting easily sunburned.
  4. Frostbitten if forgot wearing something on the scalp.
  5. Some people find a shaved head to some degree intimidating. It reminds them of thugs or skinheads and general bad people, which I am neither.

 

Since I haven’t tried to remove my hair before and most of the cons listed, can be dealt with. I got some help and borrowed a clipper and razor from a fellow soldier, and he went to town with it.

“You look like a bad MF without hair”, the fellow soldier cried out when finishing his masterpiece.

And that was true. My head was nicely shaped; I also have some subtle scarring on the right side from earlier days that made it even cooler. We went out to have a cigarette in the cool breeze in the Baltic sea. Several of my fellow soldiers that had some off time from their duties was also enjoying the view and the breeze.

“This new look suits you,” one said.

“Yea, it must feel good”, said another.

I took in the compliments and my confidence immediately soared, when the guy that commented my receding hairline came to feel the breeze. I paused and looked at him without saying anything, making myself look like I haven’t seen him before. He hesitated for a moment before he said: “I was hoping you would do that, for I saw that you could use a change in hairstyle to boost your spirit.”

He was right.

I have since then kept my hair to the minimum, never looked back. My beautiful spouse likes it the way it is, and she also sees that I am content with it to be this way, even if it`s gotten even thinner over the years.

When the days go by between hair grooming in the bathroom, I look in mirror to see where there was a lion’s mane in the early days and sometimes remind myself: I own my baldness and identify myself with it, though some can`t, therefore I am lucky to be me.

 

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough. 

Larry David

 

Sincerely

Bald, confident guy.

 

 

 

 

 


© Copyright 2017 S:E Wang. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More Non-Fiction Short Stories

Booksie 2017-2018 Short Story Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by S:E Wang

Ultimate Baldness

Short Story / Non-Fiction

The day Superman lost

Poem / Poetry

Popular Tags