lather, rinse, repeat

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
if you wish it was 1950 again, you're probably stupid.

Submitted: June 23, 2016

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Submitted: June 23, 2016

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I’ve lived in America long enough to be able to tell the difference between a fad and a trend.  The Occupy Wall Street movement was a fad.  People got bored after a while and forgot about it.  Human rights, that’s a trend.  Real progress is being made.  It’s slow, and comes at a cost, but the change is real.  And we aren’t going back.

I grew up in Alabama in the 1960s.  I’ve seen things I’d rather not write about.  But I stuck around, and I’ve been whooping ass on stupid rednecks my whole life.  I have worn down more than one idiot.  My side is winning that battle.  The young folks in Alabama are much more socially advanced than my generation.  And I will continue to buttstomp those that ask for it.

But I’m in a cynical mood at the moment so I’m going to rant about fads.  That way I get to kick everyone’s asses, not just the rednecks.  Liberals or conservatives, old or young, male or female.  You’re all guilty.

Don’t try to deny it.  That will just force me troll you harder.

You know you do it.  You stand in line for the year’s hot Christmas toy.  You go to those smelly fingernail shops and pay people to paint stuff on your hands.  You constantly change car insurance to save 15%.  Even though you know it sucks, you upgraded to Windows 8.

I’m not suggesting you stop doing what you do.  Irresponsible people make life much easier for me.  For example, because you are all addicted to debt, I actually make money by using credit cards.  I get anywhere from 1 to 5 percent cash back on every purchase I make.  Using credit cards never costs me a penny.  All thanks to morons who constantly carry a balance.  I’ll bet you pay the minimum each month.

Don’t get me started about clothes, cars, and smart phones.  I know people who’d owned more pairs of shoes by the time they were 25 than I have in my entire life.  The difference?  I actually wear them.  I buy quality shoes and replace them when they are worn out.

But like I said, don’t go changing to try and please me.  I like you just the way you are.  The next time your insanely greedy habits cause the stock market to tank, I’ll do the same thing I always do.  I’ll take my money out early, put it in safe investments, then buy back in when the bottom is reached.  Sell high, buy low.  I’d like to thank all the suckers, in advance, who do it the other way.  Your money pours into my accounts when you panic.

The funny thing is, you won’t listen.  People get jealous when I talk about how I retired at 55.  They agree they should spend and invest their money more wisely.  But they won’t act on it.  The addiction is too strong.

So just keep doing what you are doing.  Hollywood is busy remaking the same movie over and over again for you.  They understand you don’t want to be challenged by anything new.  Vampires and continuous explosions provide the level of entertainment you seek.

Spend as much money as you can at places like Disney World.  Stand in line for hours and be passively entertained.  That will allow you to go for days without having an original thought in your head.  You should spend your free time doing exactly the same thing millions of other people do.

You constantly complain about politicians that don’t represent your interests.  But you soundly reject the few politicians that tell you the truth.  They do not get elected.  Americans everywhere complain about incumbents.  And keep re-electing them.  That is good for me, regardless of which party is in office.  I benefit when the status quo is maintained.  Keep voting against your own best interests.

You should study natural selection.  You’ll learn everything you need to know about human behavior.  Right now, there is a fascinating struggle going on as the human race rejects all of its bronze age mythologies.  But that’s not a fad, it’s a trend.


© Copyright 2017 Serge Zenkovsky. All rights reserved.

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