second chance

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic
a predeath experience that turns to a second chance.

Submitted: June 23, 2016

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Submitted: June 23, 2016



I don’t know why I am feeling this. The first time I feel bad about something but I don’t know  what. I wasn’t even willing to enter this prayer. I only entered because my father asked me and embarrassed me when my answer was no. the first moment to feel ashamed. Should I feel sorry for my addiction to heroin or for the the girl who loved me for 5 years and I broke her heart. Everyone stood up but I was on the ground. I cried really hard and I asked for forgiveness but I was sure that there was no mercy for me. My heart was beating fast. I remembered everything wrong I ever did, my life flashed in front of my eyes and I couldn’t remember one good thing I’ve ever done. Then I calmed down, I felt peace. I promised myself that after I finish my prayer I will be a changed man. I will never miss a prayer. But what should I do now should I end this prayer and go wash myself or should I continue. I decided to finish my prayer. I stood up with a smile for the first time in my life I felt reassured. When I finished my prayer I smiled at my father’s face I don’t remember what was the last time I did that. I found people shouting, running to my way. I didn’t understand. Am I dead? Was it over? I don’t understand how I felt nothing. What’s happening around me? I felt a hand on my shoulder and a man asking me if I was ready to go? I was astonished I never seen something like this. I asked if I can pray one more time. But he told me not to worry. I knew I was late. So late maybe I wished for one more day. Not for goodbyes but I just want to pray. But it was time. I left and I don’t know if god will forgive me or not.


What happened? Where am I? I woke up finding myself in a strange place I don’t remember how I came here I am not seeing clearly. I realized it was my friend’s apartment. I found a cigarette between my fingers from last night and a girl I didn’t recognize. Am I dead? I ran to the bathroom and washed my face I realized I was alive. But what happened I remember that I was praying but I don’t know when. I realized it was a dream. God gave a second chance I know that this time I will use it well. I am a changed man a reborn one. This time I really hope to die like the death on my dream last night. to die while praying. I washed myself and I prayed. I decided to get out of that place. As I was praying I found heroin on the room. Maybe my friend was trying to hide it last night. I didn’t feel or think about anything. I found myself running to the room I grabbed the heroin and I imagined talking to it. I heard a voice on my mind telling it I can die but I can never let you go . I was addicted and I just knew I lost my second chance.

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