Pale Moonlight

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a story about a boy who hunts vampires and doesn't realize he is a vampire. Comedy. Child-friendly. Stage directions are just suggestions from when I did this show. This is free for any use. Please comment before using this script in any performance.

Characters:
JAKE- A bit of a newcomer in a vampire slaying team, he doesn't realize he was turned into a vampire till everyone else knows. He a funny-shy kind of guy. He is always watching out for his best friends Soren and his older sister Danny.
SOREN- A professional at vampire slaying, he is very sarcastic, chill, and hates having a girl on the team. He cares about Jake, his best friend since they were 3, and would sacrifice himself for him.
DANNY- Jake's sister, she and Soren have a backstory that makes them hate one another. She is fairly good at vampire hunting and tends to be like a ninja, able to jump around and fight quickly. She is mostly a stuck up girl but can get right up into the action when she is needed, she can be a emotional wreck when danger involves her little brother.
BLAIR- The leader of the vampire army. She is very annoyed all the time.
PATRICIA- The assistant to Blair. Kind of clutsy. She overthinks things and goes into action without thinking of the consequences. She has a giant crush on Jake.
OLD ALFRED- Supplier of weapons and pizza. He is only a few years older than the boys but is like a older brother to them. He taught Soren everything he knows. Like the old wise mentor who happens to be 20.

Submitted: June 25, 2016

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Submitted: June 25, 2016

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SCENE 1: The Dark ages (A prequel to the story): {About 1.5 min.} {This scene can be cut if script is too long} [JAKE stands in DC, SOREN stands CR]

 

SOREN-

Hi I'm Soren, I'm a sophomore in high school... And let's say I live a double life.

 

JAKE-

Hi I'm Jake and I am completely normal!

 

SOREN-

Now let's fix that boring lifestyle of yours.

(Hands JAKE a weapon)

 

JAKE- [JAKE & SOREN walk to SL]

Ok, I guess that what friends do, bringing each other into strange things, together! Can my sister come?

 

SOREN-

No your sister can not come!

 

JAKE-

Too late, she is here.

 

DANNY-

Hello! I’m here to tag along.

 

SOREN-

I dislike girls…

 

JAKE-

Why? You have a girlfriend.

 

SOREN-

Girls have cooties.

 

DANNY-

Oh my gosh, are you like 7 now?

 

SOREN-

I am 15 years old and cooties are a serious thing!

 

BLAIR- [Enters SR with Patricia]

Sorry to interrupt.

 

SOREN-

OH MY GOSH! [Surprised] More girls!

 

DANNY-

I got this!

[DANNY, BLAIR & PATRICIA Have a karate fight scene DC, At some point PATRICIA grabs JAKE, SOREN grabs JAKE back and DANNY karate kicks them away BLAIR & PATRICIA runoff SL]

SOREN-[Jealous]

I dislike your sister more now.

 

JAKE-

Come on! She is so good!

 

SOREN-

That’s the point.

 

DANNY-

Relax Soren! I only better than you at everything. Remember 5th grade?

SOREN-

Oh, I remember. Come on, we have work to do.

 

[All exit SL]

 

[lights on and off]


 

Scene 2: Darkness with fall:{About 2 min.}

[It’s a dark night and the gang has been up all night searching for the two vampire girls, SOREN and JAKE enter together SL, casual conversation.]

 

SOREN-

You haven't come outside lately.

 

JAKE-

Ya, last time I went outside I got this wicked sunburn.

 

SOREN-

That makes perfect sense. You’re looking pale, did you even tan?

 

JAKE-

No seriously I have put on gallons of sunscreen but I still got burned.

 

SOREN-

Sure…. So don't you have somewhere stupid to be?

 

JAKE-

Not until four, and it’s not stupid, it’s my job.

 

SOREN-

Great! So I was thinking of names for our team so we can sound cool when we go into action!

 

JAKE-

We are a secret society of vampire slayers.

 

SOREN-

Ooo, that sounds cool, “the secret society of vampire slayers!”

 

DANNY- [Enters SR]

That's way too long Soren!


 

SOREN-

It's her again. She comes to wreck my dreams!

 

JAKE-

Chill man! She is just my sister not a dragon! What dreams would she wreck?

 

SOREN-

My hopes of having an all guys club. And building a jello pool.

[JAKE & SOREN cross to DANNY]

SOREN- [to DANNY]

Pleasure to make your acquaintance…  

 

JAKE-

Can you seriously not be more nice around her.

 

SOREN-

She is a girl!

 

DANNY-

Yes I am a girl, great observation! Show him what he has won everybody!

 

JAKE-

You got a problem with girls Soren, because your girlfriend Elizabeth is one!

 

SOREN- [Death stares at DANNY]

I have problems with certain girls. This one might have a plague.

 

JAKE-

Ok guys I can't do this now! We have been up all night vampire hunting, and I am the kind of tired that sleep can fix! Sort this out yourselves!

 

[JAKE walks to SL, SOREN & DANNY exit SR]

 

PATRICIA- [Enters BSL, and hides]

It's quite possible I feel truly dead inside without you.

 

JAKE-

[looks around] Soren? Is that you? Who said that!

 

Patricia-

[gasps]  It seems that my little bat has heard me. Time to feast once again.


 

JAKE-

Soren, Danny! [Runs around stage]

 

PATRICIA-

Come a little closer my friend.

 

JAKE-

Who is there? [Approaches where she is hiding]


 

PATRICIA-

A beautiful bat for you. [Hisses, showing fangs]

 

JAKE-

[PATRICIA grabs him, JAKE struggles to get free but after a while is able to run away off SL]

 

BLAIR- [Enters SR]

Patricia!!!

 

(PATRICIA stops and turns to BLAIR.)

 

BLAIR-

Get it together sweetie we need to not be dead this weekend.

 

PATRICIA-

But I almost caught us a snack and a toy.

 

BLAIR-

Who is a killer of our kind? I say we catch him, and turn him into one of us.

 

PATRICIA-

Way ahead of you master, he has already begun, Should we leave him out in the sun?

 

BLAIR-

No, let him turn. Then we will be able to help us with the rest of those killers.

 

PATRICIA-

Good idea master, let's leave before they come back.

 

(BLAIR and PATRICIA run offstage CSR)



 

Scene 3: Darkness has fall upon us: {About 2.5 min}

[JAKE, SOREN and DANNY are heading to a weapons/pizza shop. DSL, SOREN is on his phone checking Instagram.]

SOREN-

Hey, dude….

 

JAKE-

I have a name you know.

 

SOREN-

I know it's just too hard to remember sometimes.

 

JAKE-

Jake. It is literally the easiest name to remember.

 

SOREN-

Anywho, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?

 

DANNY-

Ya, I was going to ask you about that? Is it a new trend?

 

JAKE-

Those are meant to be selfies. My camera is probably broken.

 

SOREN-

So you just posted the pictures of the floor.

 

JAKE-

I haven't posted for like a week! Everyone must think I'm dead.

 

DANNY- [Looking at her phone now]

Is that a teen weekly magazine on your floor? People may think you're alive still but they are certainly thinking other things.

 

JAKE-

I needed to find out my inner potato.

 

SOREN-

Sure.. Keep telling yourself that.

 

[They arrive at store. CSR Old ALFRED comes to greet them.]

ALFRED-

Howdy men. [Sees Danny] and young lady.

SOREN-

Swag, Selfie, Emoji, Whovian.

 

ALFRED-

What is this nonsense.

 

SOREN-

Whovian, a fan of Doctor who, a famous british show with aliens. Sentence, Danny is a whovian…. Oh, [Pauses] I thought we were all saying things from our century of time.


 

JAKE-

I can't take you anywhere.

 

ALFRED-

I was born in 1994 son, what will it be.

 

SOREN-

We need some more stakes, holy water, iron or wooden rings if you got some, I really want to punch the vamps, just curious to see if that will work. I also want a garlic pizza.

 

ALFRED-

As usual… Pizza is on the counter.

 

DANNY-

Thanks Alfred.

 

(SOREN, JAKE and DANNY head to the counter. ALFRED gets their stuff off shelves)

 

SOREN-

Old Alfred is the nicest old person I have ever meet.

 

JAKE-

You know he is only like 20. He only like 5 years older than us.

 

SOREN-

I know he ancient.

 

DANNY-

What do call your parents, extinct?

 


 

SOREN-

No, if I did that they would bury me alive and dance on my grave, no one wants to see that. [He trips on a bucket and falls on the ground.] owe! Man! Why didn't you tell me-JAKE?!

 

JAKE- (stares at mirror)

Soren, random question, can a mirror like stop working?

 

DANNY-

If a mirror stops working it wouldn't be a mirror.

 

SOREN-

OR… [Pauses] You're a vampire. DUN-DUN-DUN-!

 

JAKE-

Ok, here let me help you up.

(Walks over to SOREN, still eyes the mirror. Pulls him up)

 

SOREN-

You hilarious, you know that? You almost had me there with the broken mirror thing, but I am not as stupid as I look.

 

DANNY-

Whatever.

 

SOREN-

Ah here we go!

[Grabbed pizza box, ALFRED walks over to them]

 

ALFRED-

Here you go boys, have fun hunting!

 

[JAKE a bag full of their stuff and goes to put it on the counter]

 

SOREN-

Want some pizza?

 

ALFRED-

Oh course!

[ALFRED opens box and ALFRED, SOREN & DANNY all take a piece.]

 

SOREN-

Isn't our pizza the best!

 

ALFRED-

Your pizza, this pizza is never the best.

 

DANNY-

I'm gonna have to agree with him on that, this pizza is worse than garbage.

 

SOREN-

You all are just jealous, this stuff builds warriors.

 

[All laugh, JAKE takes a piece and bites it, it burns his mouth.]

 

JAKE-

Owe! (Drops pizza) Why is it so hot!

ALFRED-

It's been sitting there all day, it's not hot Jake.

 

JAKE-

My mouth is puffing up.

 

SOREN- [says at same time with DANNY]

Cool!

DANNY-[Said in unison with SOREN]

Are you ok?

 

JAKE-

Not cool, I'm allergic to something.

 

ALFRED-

You're fine.

 

SOREN-

Come on, we gotta get going, we can get you food on the way.

 

JAKE-

See you tomorrow night for a hunt Alfred!

 

[The three kids exit SL and start to walk home]

 

ALFRED-

Remember to sharpen your wood boys! I never have to tell Danny that!

 

SOREN-

So what do you want? We got pasta, hot dogs, nachos. My treat.

JAKE-

I don't know, I'm seriously craving something right now.

 

DANNY-

What?

 

JAKE-

I don't know… Maybe pizza rolls? Red cool aid?

 

[ALLExit SL]


 

Scene 3: Battle for darkness and light: {About 5 min}

[JAKE is at at home, CSR, watching his computer. JAKE’s phone rings.]

 

JAKE- [Answers phone]

Hello? This is Jake.

 

SOREN- [Enters DSL, on phone]

Dude! Are you still awake!

 

JAKE-

Ya, I'm watching this show on Netflix.

 

SOREN-

Wait…[listens] Are you watching Gilmore girls?

 

JAKE-

No! [Quickly closes his computer.]

 

SOREN-

You totally were! How far are you?

 

JAKE-

Five...

 

SOREN- [Interrupts]

Episodes! Man you are acting like a girl!

 

JAKE-

Seasons… Soren.. I just watched 5 seasons.


 

SOREN-

Dude we need to go get you some big boy pants.

 

JAKE-

This isn't funny.

 

SOREN-

You must of been up all night! The slaying squad has a job to do tomorrow night and you need your sleep!

 

JAKE-

Slaying squad? That's better then ‘the secret society of vampire slayers?’

 

SOREN-

Shut up. At least I’m trying!

 

JAKE-

Haha, I researched ingredients to my pizza and I got nothing, there are so many cheeses in this pizza, it could be anything.

 

SOREN-

Oh ya, I totally did my research, got the same results as you.

 

JAKE-

Soren! This is serious! I could die of a pizza!

 

SOREN-

Come on, you almost die everyday!

 

JAKE-

No thanks to you.

 

SOREN-

Come up with a better name for our team. Get some sleep, and don’t do drugs. [Hangs up, exits SL]

 

JAKE-

Soren! Stay on the phone! This is a serious moment! [Puts down phone]

 

[BLAIR and PATRICIA enter from SL]

BLAIR-

His friend is clueless.

 

PATRICIA-

Our plan is working out great.

 

[BLAIR & PATRICIA creep around to the front of the house]

 

JAKE-

[opens laptop,] I need to stop… After one more episode.

[Doorbell rings.]

JAKE-

Go away! [Doorbell rings again, He gets up and goes to the door.]

 

PATRICIA & BLAIR-

Hello! [hiss]

JAKE-

[frantically slams door. Calls SOREN on phone.]

Soren! Code 797!

 

SOREN- [enters DSL, flipping through book.]

One second you should not of made so many codes, I can't remember them all!

JAKE-

Vampires! At my door!

SOREN-

You got to spoil everything! I was almost there! [Mutters] On the page... [Closes book.] Can you make it out of your house and back to base? Danny is there training, I'll meet you there. [exits CSL]

JAKE-

Ok! I'll try to sneak out back. [Rushes off DSR and starts to run around the audience.]

 

[PATRICIA and BLAIR exit around the house DSR and follows JAKE. DANNY goes inside the base. (James house) SOREN rushes into Jake’s house, which is now their Base on SL, and waits by the door to let JAKE in. As JAKE is running he loses the vampires as he runs back to the stage, BLAIR & PATRICIA exit out an audience door.]

 

JAKE- [running]

SOREN open the door! Open the door!

 

SOREN- [opens door]

Hurry man! I can see them behind you!

 

JAKE- [gets to door and stops]

Soren! Come on man!


 

SOREN-

What is it?

 

JAKE-

Are you going to invite me in?

 

SOREN-

I was just planning on you running in, why would you only come in if I invite you?

 

JAKE-

It's called being polite!

 

SOREN- (pauses for a moment as he realizes what's happening.)

So I googled what's in my pizza vs pizza bites…

 

JAKE- [Interrupts]

Soren things are trying to get me!

 

SOREN- [Continues on and ignores him]

And the only difference is garlic, so I guess I found your allergy.

 

JAKE-

That's great we won't cook with garlic anymore, but Soren it's the middle of the night and I'm being hunted by vampires! Invite me in now!

 

SOREN- [Continues on ignoring him]

Also… [Played with crucifix on his necklace.] I was talking with Danny and it seams like...

 

JAKE-

Soren stop giving me crap! Let me in!

 

SOREN-

Ok, you may come in.

 

[SOREN  opens door and JAKE rushes inside. SOREN closes door behind him]

 

JAKE- [Turns to SOREN]

By the way, usually I'm all great about you expressing your religious belief but could you not wear your crucifix when I'm around? It's bugging me for some strange reason.

 

SOREN- (smiles, and continued to play with necklace.)

Of course it does.

[DANNY enters USL]

DANNY-

Jake! [Rushes to brother and hugs him.] Are you ok?

JAKE-

Ya, I'm fine.

 

SOREN-

You could say he is feeling fang-tastic. [Snickers.]

 

DANNY-

Soren this is no time for jokes.

 

SOREN-

You are right, these puns are not intended for the dead. They were intended for the undead! [Snickers]

JAKE-

Soren we have a whole nest of vamps on my trail, we need to get ready.

 

SOREN-

OK! Sorry man, here have a water.

[SOREN gives him a bottle and JAKE takes a sip.]

 

JAKE- [burns his mouth]

Owe!! Did you just boil this! What is wrong with you today!

 

SOREN- [laughs]

It's funny because you still haven't caught on!

 

DANNY-

Soren what do you mean?

 

SOREN-

Jake, you're allergic to garlic, you didn't rush inside till I invited you, you can't drink this water, you hate my crucifix, can you put two and two together?

 

DANNY- [Realizes what's happening]

Oh my gosh.

 

JAKE- [Still doesn't know]

What?

 

DANNY-

Jake…


 

SOREN-

I know Danny… It's going to be so great to have a vampire on the team!

 

JAKE-

Are we getting a new team member? Why didn't you guys tell me?

 

DANNY-

Oh my.

 

SOREN- (splashes JAKE with the water)

Let me shed some light on the subject.

 

JAKE-

Owe! (Jumps away) Why would you do that?!

DANNY-

Jake, you are a vampire!

JAKE-

Oh no.

[Realization and falls on knees, DANNY goes to comfort him]

 

SOREN-

? monster squad! Or maybe we could call ourselves, “the vampire, his sister and her boyfriend.”

 

DANNY-

You are not my boyfriend.

 

SOREN- [Starts walking around]

What about, “the vampire plus two?”

 

JAKE-

This is horrible.

 

SOREN-

I know bro, no we can never go into the house of mirrors again. This sucks.

 

JAKE-

You guys got to kill me. Before I turn into a monster.

 

SOREN-

We can't do that, you technically haven't killed anyone yet, so your ok. Can I have your t-shirt sizes?

 

JAKE-

But I will… All vampires do.

 

SOREN-

Stop being melodramatic, I mean you can get to our missions like 3 times faster! Can you turn into a bat yet? Or can you control them?

 

DANNY-

Soren, Jake is a vampire.

 

SOREN-

Yes, I believe we established that. So back to the bats, because if we can control bats, then we could just be like “release the bats!” Every time we go into battle.

 

JAKE-

Soren what are we gonna do? Can we reverse this? I haven't feed on anyone yet.

 

SOREN-

Technical you did eat pizza rolls. But I'm sure you are fine.

 

DANNY-

Can we reverse this Soren?

 

SOREN-

Nope, if we could reverse vamp-ness, then we would have done it by now, the only way is to put a stake in the heart. Wait!

 

JAKE-

What is it!

 

SOREN-

“Stake in the heart.” That sound cool, we should get t-shirts with that on it! Sizes please.

 

Danny- [slaps SOREN]

Soren this is a serious moment!

 

SOREN-

Chill! You guys need to get outside and enjoy the sun and fresh air… oh wait, [points at JAKE] you can't.

 

JAKE-

Soren!


 

SOREN- [takes out phone]

So did we agree on ? monster squad? Or…


 

JAKE- [Gets off ground]

You know what... that doesn't sound half bad.

 

DANNY- [Gets off ground if on ground with brother]

Wait how can you guys just drop this? Jake is a vampire!

 

SOREN-

We just do. This is why I don't want girls on the team. They hold onto everything!


 

JAKE-

Tell me about it. If we get t-shirts, I want things on the back that say I'm the ? monster, also I want a small and a large.


 

SOREN-

Still having that dream of becoming super buff?

 

[SOREN and JAKE start to walk off together. SR]

 

JAKE-

Why? Do you think I achieved it? [Flex arms]

 

SOREN-

No, it's never gonna happen.

 

[Exit SR]

 

DANNY- (Stops foot)

Guys!

[DANNY starts to follow them, running]

DANNY-

Wait I want mine to be Blue!

[Exit SR]

 

[BLAIR and PATRICIA enter SL]

BLAIR- [Cross to SR]

So… Our plan failed… Agian…


 

PATRICIA- [Follows]

Sorry! I was convinced we would succeed!


 

ALFRED- [Enters SL]

Someone ordered pizza, [Hold up garlic pizza] Extra garlic?

 

[PATRICIA and BLAIR run off, chased by ALFRED.


End script.



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