Silent Treatment

Reads: 186  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: House of Ghosts
The stages of despair...

Submitted: June 30, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 30, 2016

A A A

A A A


Jealousy is a fucking beast. Not just a green eyed monster which possesses you, but a giant motherfucking dildo that rips your asshole to pieces. No joke. I like how we all think that when the moment arrives, we’ll be all cool and rational, and deal with a situation in a logical manner, but let me tell you. Heell no! I just feel like taking a giant metal bar and breaking down a monument which symbolizes the advancements of humanity.

Just the other day, I found out my girlfriend wanted to go out with one of closest friends alone, for a movie. On the call, I was like ‘Mmm… okay, cool’. In my head I was burning down my national flag and waving the flames around like a mad man. I do know for a fact that I can trust my girlfriend. I know that she wouldn’t do anything that would lead me to defile my nations flag, but for some reason, I felt an intense rage blowing up within me. I felt myself turning into a goddamn Super saiyan, and gripping my phone way harder than I usually do. Unfortunately, the tiniest spark of anger left my voice, and she immediately picked it up. As soon as she uttered the phrase, ‘Hey, what’s wrong’, I knew that there was no way I could be stopped. I don’t know how long I rambled. I am not entirely sure that I even know what I was talking about. However, I am fully aware of the ‘aftermath’. Silent treatment. I can just imagine the the lyrics of ‘Sound of silence’ playing softly in the background.

Anyone who has ever dated knows the horrors of the silent treatment. You ramble on for hours, displaying embarrassing amounts of emotion, while she just listens…but never says a word. That is true pain. People who talk about stepping on LEGO’s, fuck that, the silent treatment is the best torture method I know.

As always, I messed up big time by exploding like that. Now, I have devised the different stages a guy goes through when enduring the ST (Silent treatment). This may not reflect the views of the overall population, but it sure as hell reflects upon me.

Stage 1 – ‘ Dude? Dude? Dude? Did I say something wrong? Where are you? Dude? What did I say? Umm…is something wrong with your internet?

Stage 2- ‘ Hahaha. It was all a joke’. ‘You can go out with whoever you want, I don’t care’. ‘I was just pretending like I cared’

Stage 3 – ‘ NO! BY THE GODS, I SHALT NOT ACCEPT SUCH INCREDIBLE RAGE!’ ‘SPEAK TO ME WOMAN. YOU CANNOT AND WILL NOT GIVE ME THE FORSAKEN SILENT TREATMENT’. ‘I WILL PUNISH YOU WITH GREAT PREJUDICE! GREAT PREJUDICE!’

Stage 4 – ‘I’m sorry!’. ‘I love you, please don’t hurt me’. ‘ I have issues, please don’t use it against me’. ‘*wailing* PLLEEAASEEEEEE’.

Well these are the 4 stages which apply to me whenever I get the silent treatment. No matter how much I try to analyze my predicament and change the way I react to such situations, I still end up at the wailing scenario, where my girlfriend simply gives in due to annoyance.

I hope you enjoyed this post again, and I am really sorry due to the inactivity. I’m just a lazy piece of shit. #noexcuses.

My cats name is Putin. (Yes, like the Russian president)


© Copyright 2017 RealitytoFantasy. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More Humor Miscellaneous