Not Very Simple

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Interstate Freedom"

Submitted: June 30, 2016

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Submitted: June 30, 2016

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Not Very Simple

-

As I hear about the wasted heart in my chest

Willingly let go of any emotion for anybody

I am quite cracked up about it all

I have heard not, my call

And so I am free from love's expenses

As more emergencies drain me of my money

I am left to dwindle my freedom away

Now I'm tied to my maintenance

Because it is so high

If I ever climbed up to the top of my debt

I bet I could see my house from there

My "someday" will never come though

I'll never be available

__to put myself back on the market

It seems like I just get poorer and poorer

Struggling to make ends meet

__on a monthly basis

I know there'll never be another woman

__in my life, to begin with

So why should I mind?

Why?

Because I want a vacation!

Damn it!

That's why!

I guess God's just making me wait

__'til the last minute

Just so I'd have to die

__right after

Or during

God has such a sick sense of humor

And really has some

__deep

____rooted

______control issues

I wonder if He gets a kick

__out of death

I wonder if He's glad I'm single

Glad I'm poor

Glad I'm alone

But I'd be stupid to blame Him

I know it's just my karma

One of these days death will be here

Maybe I'll never get

__that vacation

Knowing God

He still wants me to suffer

Knowing myself

I know I still have to suffer

But knowing all that

__doesn't make dying any easier

Life only gets harder

And then you die

And I'm still wishing it could get easier

Without even stopping to wonder "why?"

Why should I be any different?

I have to suffer just like the next man

'Cause that's all we do in life

Pay our consequences

Again and again

Until we are dead

Well, that only makes my goal "dying"

Just for a cease of the pain

If life only gets worse

I'll never find the purpose for it

And when God asks me

__what I think it was

____I'll just draw a blank

All I'll know is that "I was put here

I left my mark on thee internet

And then I died"

Never producing anything but art

__my whole life

Never had children

Never got married

And never kept any of my friends

__in my life

So far, I choose not not to feel

__these things

And some time from now

__I'm gonna hate feeling them

What works for every one else

Doesn't work for me

So I may never know

__how to deal with them

And if they go to my head

I don't know what's gonna keep me

__from suicide

Maybe I'm so powerless

__that I don't have enough power

____to take my own life

Hopefully I won't have to mind

-

06-29-'16

D. L. Cannon


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