48 DEATHS: Chapter 1

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic

The cities get stunned by armed snipers who shot dead many people. Read it to find out more!


48 DEATHS: CHAPTER 1 48 deaths. 48 murderers. 48 locations. 4 cities. (Tune up for thr coming chapters) ************ “3..2..1.. Shoot!” Sharp noises were heard , of snipers. Across the city. Across the state. Across the country. There was a hush and then the dead silence. Nothing prevailed then. It was 11:56 pm. The police reached the crime scenes, unknown that they were being watched. Police sirens echoed. The red lights were seen, moving quickly down the road. There was panic all-around. The deaths had made the night colder than ever. It was November,2015.

***************

“Any mistakes?” “No sir”, in unison. “The police must have reached,of course. Don’t leave your places until i command.” The lines disconnected. ************** LUCKNOW

“Mr. Kamte, 12 deaths, here, in Lucknow. Different locations. The same number in Hyderabad, Indore and Bangalore. 48 deaths in total.” “Time of deaths?” “The same. 11:55-11:56 pm. All shot dead.” “An interesting case.” Gets up off the chair. “Get me the details of these 48 men. Any linkage. Everything. Check if they have any criminal records.” Mr. Kamte was a tall,dark man with beard, always excited and ready to perform his duties but often finds himself lacking the wisdom needed. It was in 2009 when he caught a murderer, the last. Nothing since. He goes on to increase the belly and is a perfect picture of an Indian policeman. ” Ramu! Get me a cup of tea! It is so cold nowadays.” and a regular chatting begins with the samosa and chai, forgetting the world and its pains,the actual work of them. ************** HYDERABAD

“No. I don’t see any linkage among them, neither any criminal records. Here are the documents of the 12, sir.” “Yeah. Keep it there .” Mr. Sharma pointed towards the table. ” This is an interesting case. Let us see which city Siddarth chooses. I am sure, he will be involved.” ************ INDORE

“A murderer. Yes. Got out of jail in 2005. Nothing since. His name is Rishabh. No linkage though among the 12.”

Mr. Rathore walks out,smoking a cigar.

” Siddarth Kashyap. When will you involve?” *************** BANGALORE

” … in 2009, sir. Nothing since.” Mr. Kumar stood up. ” Keep the documents on the table.” Then, talked to himself, ” I am waiting for you Siddarth. We all must be, in fact, out of doubt.” *************** Siddarth flips the newspaper,taking a sip of the coffee. “48 deaths. 48 seconds. Interesting.” He writes down the cities, the time. “Sniper-shots. Awesome.” He walks to the balcony hearing the honks of the cars, the traffic. A cold breeze makes him shiver. The sun was nowhere to be seen. “I should move to Lucknow. A better place to examine the case. Delhi is full of political shit after all.” ****************



Submitted: July 02, 2016

© Copyright 2021 Shekhar Srivastava. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Katherine M

Hi! Sorry, I took a while to get back to you, I've been trying to catch up on all of my read requests.

Alrighty, I really like the concept. You've completely caught my attention as a reader by having 48 different murders occur simultaneously in 48 different countries. I'm assuming they're all connected and orchestrated by a rather large group in order to accomplish a feat like that.
(A massive team of ex military snipers?? Seeing as they did it in 48 seconds?? It would be cool to put in an autopsy scene where they discover that everyones time of death was the same!)

I do agree with drysky05's comment, though, your format takes away from the read. I know Booksie can be a pain to deal with, I'm still figuring it out myself, honestly. Try reading some other authors works such as GhostOfTheRain, I read through hers to help out my own formatting. (I have a few of my favorite authors posted on my Profile feel free to check out their work also for some examples. :)

I really like where the story is going though so I will continue to read!!

Thanks for the invite!
-Katherine

Wed, July 6th, 2016 1:58am

Sharon Daniel

wow...I am hooked!! Your work is fantastic and I'm not just saying!!!
Nice and neat....love it!!!!

Sat, July 9th, 2016 6:00pm

Sharon Daniel

Sat, July 9th, 2016 6:00pm

Amy R. Beckett

Interesting idea - I think this has the potential to be really exciting and thrilling... I have to agree with some of the other comments though. The main problem here is the format/presentation of your writing. It's just not very clear. The dialogue is all bunched together which makes it a little hard to follow. Also, to me at least, it reads in some places a lot like a script. Perhaps you could try using a little more descriptive writing? Hope this helps!
- ARB

Mon, July 11th, 2016 8:04am

Islebabe

Hi, thank you for the read request. Sorry for the late reply. Like many others, I'm trying to keep up with my own work and other reading requests. I have to agree with other commenters on here. Although I can clearly see the concept of your story, it's extremely difficult to follow along with the dialogue; I had no clue as to what was going on or who was speaking to whom. Because it lacks emotions on the parts of the characters, it read as a script rather than a novel. I think your story has amazing potential, just need some tweaking in some places. I hope you don't mind the constructive feedbacks you are receiving from your fellow Booksiens; it's the best way for us as writers to improve our crafts. Best of luck to you.

Mon, July 11th, 2016 12:11pm

DJcyan

So this is in India? Cool, I don't read things from out of America or England. Usually most stories take place in those two, so I adore how you mixed it up. Although this was hard to tell from the beginning, or maybe that was just a me problem. I'm interested to see where this goes, but I get so many reading requests I might forget this one forever. So if you don't hear from me in a week, remind my forgetful soul so I can read more.
Until then, seeya around! ~DJ

Wed, July 13th, 2016 3:24pm

Author
Reply

Yeah..i thought to mix it up.lol. and there is confusion in content writing. I am on my way of editing. And i surely will remind you!

Wed, July 13th, 2016 10:01pm

SuzanneE

Sorry for taking a while to get to reading some of your work. I won't comment on the formatting as you are aware of the issue. I actually read this on your website where it was a little bit easier to read, but I have to say that there's still not good flow in your writing. This plotline is definitely something I would be interested in reading, unfortunately, plots like this need to be handled gently and formed in just the right way. In my opinion, you have a lot more dialogue in your work than you do descriptions. You should add more detail to your work so that the reader can create a mental image in their head of what's going on. I would say this is more of an outline or draft of what you want to include in your chapter. I would start with this and expand it. Play it out like a movie. I'm not a professional, but if you would like some help editing and/or formatting I would be happy to do so. Just shoot me an email. -Suz

Fri, July 15th, 2016 9:59pm

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