Insecurity

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
I never wrote an article before, so this is probably very amateur-ish. I decided to write this because I want to make my voice heard, and I want to help others who are insecure. I hope this article will be useful.
~You're wonderful just the way you are, don't let anybody tell you otherwise, not even you, okay?

Submitted: July 04, 2016

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Submitted: July 04, 2016

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“Insecure”.

We all know that feeling. One day, you glanced at your reflection in the mirror and decided that you’re ugly, or too fat, or perhaps the opposite; too thin. Maybe you thought that you’re too tall/short, that your teeth look awful when your smile, or that your nose is too big, or that your eyes are too close/far from each other…etc. The list goes on, there’s so much features of yourself that you can nitpick until you make yourself sad and start craving ice cream.

Notice how I used “decided” and “thought”? Well, that’s because you’re tricked into believing those are facts, while in reality, they’re opinions. Precisely, your opinions.

We humans are opinionated creatures. We’re taught to stand up for what we believe in and always share our ideas and thoughts, even if we’re proven wrong. We quickly become convinced of our ideas and get used to them, like they’re the new normal, and the more you’re convinced of your opinions, the more you won’t let anyone try to change them. You protect them from harm (read: different opinions trying to take their place) like they’re your freaking babies.

Now imagine if those opinions are about yourself. People telling you there’s nothing wrong with your appearance are obviously wrong, because after all, nobody knows you like you know yourself, right?

That’s how it happens, you protect your demon baby (read: insecurity) from harm, you feed it metaphorical bottles of milk and let it grow bigger every time you look at the mirror.

Let’s take me for example; I started feeling insecure at the age of 10, up until the age of 14. If you want more details, I was bullied. Instead of not listening to my bullies, I turned their words into my opinions. I’m not saying it’s your fault if you’re insecure due to bullying, especially if you were as young as me. My mistake is that I didn’t get rid of my insecurity, I let it grow inside my head even two years after the bullying was over.

So, how can I deal with insecurity?

Movies, TV shows, books, or any other media trick us into believing that there’s a “cure” for insecurity. Like how the “geeky” character in every coming-of-age movie gets a makeover, or even removes their glasses, and it turns out they’re so much hotter and prettier than everyone else presumed, so they immediately become confident and start hanging out with the cool kids and eating at the nice cafeteria table by the windows instead of the table by the trash cans.

Or something like that, I don’t watch a lot of coming-of-age movies.

My point is, you definitely can and sometimes should experiment with your look, or buy new outfits, or get a new haircut. You can even wear one of those diamond encrusted bras if you can get your hands on one (regardless of your gender, I won’t judge). None of that will make a difference if you don’t get rid of your insecurity, because that thing will just find other features of yourself to point out and deride.

The same goes with people, no matter how much your friends tell you that you’re pretty/handsome or that you don’t look fat in those jeans, and no matter how much attractive singers tell you that you’re beautiful, it won’t make a difference because you’ll automatically choose not to believe them.

You’re the only person that can get rid of your insecurity. It won’t happen when you wake up one day and go to the mirror and suddenly get hit by how beautiful you actually are, because insecurity won’t let you see it from the first day.

I learned all of the things above the hard way. I discovered that, the only way to stop being insecure, is to condition my mind to think positively about myself, and also focus on all the good things about me. I taught myself how to make eye-contact, and how to walk with my head up. I taught myself to focus on me, instead of focusing on other people.

This is exactly what I want you to do. Think positively about yourself. Instead of thinking that your eyes are too close/far from each other, think that they’re a lovely color. Your smile isn’t weird, it’s genuine. You’re not short, you’re cute and fluffy and tall people want to hug you. If you’re tall, then you’re always ahead of other people and your legs are hot and you’re a good hugger. Average height is the best of both worlds. If your weight affects your health, then do work on it, but if you’re just chubby or a little bit thin then what’s the big deal?

Whoever said that all men should have six packs and muscles, and all girls should have a flat stomach and a thigh gap is a moron who thinks all people have the same exact body type and metabolism. There, I said it.

Teach yourself that confidence is right, confident is what you’re meant to be. Condition your mind to think positive thoughts, because those and only those are the truth. When you get an insecure thought immediately replace it with a positive one. Practice making eye contact, and walking with your head facing the crowd.

It’s not that easy…

I know it’s not easy. You won’t immediately get the hand of it and become confident within a month, because you can’t kill off Insecurity the demon baby, instead you’re just going to stop feeding it the metaphorical milk bottles. You neglect insecurity until it weakens and eventually dies on its own, and that will take time. I decided to start being confident less than a year ago, I still have my bad days, but I’m much, much better than how I was before so.

It’s a decision. You need to decide that enough is enough with being insecure, and that it’s time to get rid of it.

Go let that demon baby starve, life will be better without it, I promise.

Original Artist: LuciaLin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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