Demons of Darkness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is just a short story that I wrote when suffering from depression. Although depression is a terrible illness, it really does bring out the creativity in people.

Submitted: July 04, 2016

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Submitted: July 04, 2016

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I'm so alone, no-one around to hear my silent pleas for help, except them. The darkness in my mind, the evil that corrupts my happiness, twists it and mutates it into this unseen abomination.

Countless methods and alternatives have entered my mind and they still remain, lurking at the back in the darkest reaches of my brain. They've grasped on like bot flies to flesh. I want them to leave but I just get a constant remembrance of how low my life has fallen. Self-harming? Pills? Disappearing?...... Suicide? Could these methods help me? Could these simple tasks vanquish me from my pain and suffering that I have to endure day after wretched day?

I see myself every day, my reflection in the mirror, my own body, lifeless just stood there staring back. I'm a corpse amongst the living, I don't belong, I'll never belong as long as this leech sucks my very existence from my body. Our bodies are just capsules for our souls to remain safe against these demons but once they're in, there's no getting them out. What purpose does this body have if there's no soul within? I could end this right now, allow this capsule to meet with the Earth again, to be purged of this abomination that only I have seen.  People take life for granted, they can get up in the morning and feel energetic and excited for the day ahead of them, my life cannot be taken for granted because there is nothing there. This is like buying a chocolate bar and only getting the wrapper, you want what’s inside, the sole purpose of what you want is what is inside. I want happiness, excitement, tranquillity, I can't fathom enough how much I want and need this. I'm just empty. I'm not sad, I'm not happy. I'm not joyful, I'm not miserable. I'm just……empty.

I thirst for all of those default feelings and emotions but the one true feeling I want, the one compelling feeling that keeps taunting me from a distance is love. I want to feel loved, I have loved, God, I still love someone. It swirls through my head day and night what they're doing, how they're feeling, what would they do if they woke up one morning with a call telling them that I'm no longer alive. Would they miss me? Do they love me back but are too scared to let themselves love? These questions pop in and stay there just like everything else. I find myself at the end of every week with a notebook filled with new, un-answered questions that I desperately need answered. My head is a library of thoughts and questions, gradually building to a point where I don't believe I can carry on living like this. I long for a valve to drain every last thought and question from my head, I can start a new chapter in my book, hell, I can start a whole new book. But unfortunately that is not how we were created, we age and with that aging we are faced with numerous obstacles for us to overcome, we live to be challenged. Most people are able to overcome their obstacles but there are a few, such as us who are stopped with no sense of direction, no clear path ahead of us so we just take the easy way out, we give up.

Now at this moment as I find myself standing on this bridge, I'm looking down at the highway below me. The cars are whizzing past, there's a cold breeze on my face, the noise is overwhelming me. Not the noise of the cars, the noise the demons are making in my head. They're louder than ever right now because they know, they know they're going to be killed with me. The noise, coming back louder and louder and louder AND LOUDER AND LOUDER……….."Are you okay miss?" those words, those soft, innocent words blocked out all of the noise, I felt at peace for a brief moment. I turned my head, it's a little girl, no older than 7. She has such beautiful eyes, a hazel colour, her hair a brownish blonde with the most angelic smile I have ever laid eyes on. I can't do this, I can't go through with this. With that smile, I can see that there's too much purity in the world that I'll never get to witness. This girl may or may not know what my intentions were standing on the edge of that bridge and she may not know that she saved me. Those words brought me down, that girl brought me down. There's still hope for me, in my time of need, someone came and showed me that hope. Thank you, thank you for what you've done for me. As I stepped off of that bridge, the demons began to simmer, the unbearable noise that they continuously emit was fading. With that I could finally rest, I could finally fix my life and start to pick up the pieces. This is where my new chapter, my new book begins.


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