The Call of Nature

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A personal account of the meaning of nature as a way to find energy and change perception.

Submitted: July 07, 2016

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Submitted: July 07, 2016

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Today was a day of darkness. As the day started I started to colour my life in total black. But I took to the forest to recharge my batteries and it made all the difference. One of my main problems have been lack of a positive attitude towards many areas in life, primarily my own. It's the hard working conditions at my working place. The people I work with that always try to control me at any instant. But I have realized more clearly that one can choose to be controlled or just move on with business in a positive manner.

Positive thinking has saved me many times.

It's easy to take this anger and resentment upon others too. To colour one's own relationships in dark hues due to bad experience in work or otherwise.

Nature has saved me recently. That's why I'm writing a book about it. Nature can make you find energy and change perceptions to more positive ones. One can easily see the difference when one returns to city life. How low some people actually have sunken. And it is these impressions that also have sunken me.

It gets much better when I'm travelling. To meet people away from harsh working conditions where they actually can reveal the positive aspects of themselves.

And the good thing: When perceptions finally have been altered it is easier to sustain that mindset. To feel comfortable in the space with others. And never project negativity on others.

One can easily say I always was negative about people and the world. This was due to my background as a Christian primarily. The thinking that the individual never could rise above given circumstances and to create ones own destiny. That kind of thinking has coloured my entire life. I write about the problem of power because I always was powerless due to conditioning in younger years.

Other people could sense it and I never amounted to much in social contexts. But I think I have started to turn it around. This due to my positive travel experience and constant life crisis that have forced me to think in more constructive ways.

I still have problem with the negativity projected on me from my family. As these view me as something of a black sheep.

I constantly talk about ego, hate and darkness and I think I have become completely misunderstood. As I mean nothing negative with these statements. My sense of ego would be something along the philosophy of love to others. I just have realized that the base drive carrying such emotions is selfish in nature. A way for man to succeed in his/her own life and to become successful.

My novel "Alien Forever" described such emotions taken to the limit. As many dark emotions had been suppressed and needed to come to the surface.

"Beyond the darkness one can maybe find the light".

I try not to moralize. I tend to "go all the way". Even talking about death as a positive thing. Even psychological and spiritual suicide. As the darkened soul finding no meaning in life may have to actually confront death to elevate the spirit from disaster.

Carl Jung describes this journey in some of his books. I truly believe I never would have survived without my darkness. Perhaps living in a physical body but never to find meaning in life.

I want to go away from all shallow solutions and to "go all the way". Exploring all dark and mysterious territories of life to educate myself of the hidden layers waiting to be revealed. And never be afraid to commit mistakes. As those mistakes always have been my greatest teachers.

And I put forward all these ideas to you almost always expecting to be misunderstood. As I also misunderstood many of you and others on a spiritual path.

Only time will reveal victory or defeat.


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