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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Voices will be a collection of short content that I post from time to time. They reflect my thoughts and maybe, just maybe, they can reflect yours as well.

Submitted: July 07, 2016

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Submitted: July 07, 2016



I Found, I Felt, And I Fell...


I never knew that I’d come across you. You were a rare gem in a plethora of the king's collection of jewels. I didn’t pick you, nor were you ever picked for me, but somehow, someway our paths seemed to cross. Not only did our paths seem to cross, but they interlaced with one another. In that moment I imagined that this was it; this was where we crossed the point of no return. Our paths interlaced in such a way where in that moment I couldn't get rid of you and you weren't able to get rid of me. Our interlaced fate crisscrossed in impossible ways, allowing us to believe that we needed one another. 

I didn’t want to get rid of you, and somehow you didn't want to get rid of me. So it worked in our favor. I found you in the moment that I needed you the most, and before you, I had vowed to myself that nobody would hurt me in such a way that I have been hurt before. I let my guard down...again. I let it tumble to the ground with your light touch on my skin, begging me to let you in. I let you in, only for you to slowly destroy me from the inside.

I was there for you; You told me that you’d be there for me equally. How wrong you were, for you tried to squeeze me into a corner of your heart that was already taken. It was taken by someone who maybe deserved it more than me, or did they?

I don't know what I was to you, but I knew what you were to me. In the instant that we befriended one another, I thought you were my savior. I thought you were the one that was going to save me from myself; the person that I could lean on and tell my deepest thoughts to. Yet, looking back on our situation, I realize what you really were to me.

You weren't my savior, You weren't even my friend; you were my fix. The rare kind of somebody that I could hate and love at the same time. You didn't bring out the best in me, nor the worst. Instead, you brought out everything about me. You brought out my deepest meaningful thoughts to surface, you made me laugh like no other. You weren't my friend, you were the fix a drug addict like myself needed in order to survive. Being my poison, I understood what God was trying to tell me. I never chose the rare gem, remember? And you didn't pick yourself for me, obviously. God had given me the special rare gem in to teach me my final lesson. My final lesson was this:

My first hurt taught me something. The first hurt taught me how to open my heart to strangers that can possibly mean the world to me the next day. I found the first hurt on my own and the second hurtled me to find something else. After I found, I felt. I lost myself in what we had produced--the secret universe we lost ourselves in. I finally felt what it was like to be with someone with no judgments that they had to offer on my persona. I found and I felt. Lastly, I think I fell.

I fell for not the person that I thought you to be, but I fell for the person that you truly were and that was when I found my fix. I found it in the wildfire of my mind. I found, I felt and I fell, all in one lifetime over one person.

I found, I felt and I fell, all the way to the devils chamber that my fix to you had led me into.

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