Never Forget

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A change in circumstances and coping with no support

Submitted: July 10, 2016

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Submitted: July 10, 2016

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Whatever I do you will never be happy, what I ever I say will be wrong. I try so hard to please everyone, keeping out of the way not making any sound sneaking about like a scared animal for fear of meeting you in the hall, kitchen and making you angry. I help out to pay my way, feeling like Cinderella washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning but it isn’t enough, you don’t want me here and you make it obvious.

I’m here though because I have no choice, it’s not what you want, it’s not what I want either but it’s either this or I’m homeless. Maybe that’s what you want? Maybe you would rather I seek support in a hostel for homeless people than my own father support me making it obvious he doesn’t want me in his house. Not understanding that my temporary situation requires support not hostility. Nothing’s changed; you always helped everyone before you helped us.

I have nowhere to hide, oh how I wish I could grab my things and run, but where too? I don’t even have the fare to run anymore, oh how I have fallen.  I’ve been drained of all my pride I stay hidden in the garden room looking at my bags piled high on the pull up bed that I now call home.

I sit here and write, I study to increase my chances in the workplace while everyday searching for work, dreaming of getting back the perfect life I had. My own home, car and money and the ability to buy basic goods I need to make me feel like you. A life that never relied on anyone to let me down.

It won’t be long before it’s over though, it’s temporary. If I had the love and support it might be easier but I feel alone so I have to bite my tongue and say nothing and get through this awful stage.

I will look forward and continue to be brave, hiding my tears remembering  I got by my entire life on my own and that’s what I will continue to do, I will get my life back and never forget that when I needed help the most you made it hard.

I won’t ever forget!

 

 


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